This is not a sex advice column

Sure, the name of this blog indicates I can cure all the woes that Viagra and a few stiff drinks can't, but - brace yourself - I'm not writing about those sorts of covers. I'm writing about books, books I love and books I hate, books that confound me and books I could read 100 more times and never get tired of. I'll write about authors who are coming to Miami and authors who aren't and probably a few I'm still mad at for one reason or another (damn you, Dennis Lehane! Write another thriller!) I'll admit I have never made it through Moby Dick, and a lot of you will lie and say you have.

See, I read a lot. Presumably, if you're taking the time to read this instead of Star magazine or catching up on deleted scenes from The Office, you like to read, too. I can't claim to have a lengthy series of letters behind my name. My degree is in journalism, from University of Florida (GO GATORS!) , and I came by my love of books the same way most of you did: By picking them up and reading. And I'm always open to suggestions of what I should be reading; I love discovering new authors, although I have to warn you, if you start sending in comments about how we all need to read your self-published manifesto on living life to the fullest or why breast-feeding should be mandatory or how 9/11 was a government conspiracy, we are going to have a big fat problem.

So I may not be much help with the sex tips, but I sure can talk about books. So let's do it.

Comments

[Brett Bayne]

Dear Connie,

My wife refuses to have sex while her parents are staying with us. I told her it's her marital duty, but she won't listen. I say it's just an excuse, because she can't put down that Dennis Lehane novel. Can you recommend any good books to help me escape my world of unwanted celibacy?

- Hard-Up Husband

P.S. Love you, love your blog. To you I recommend the hilarious mini-mysteries of the late Jack Ritchie, collected as "Little Boxes of Bewilderment." And, oh yeah, my self-published manifesto on living life to the fullest. Dude, it totally rawks!

[Phoebe Flowers]

What's a "faulkner"?

I will shortly be self-publishing a manifesto on why and how "The Office" fulfills all emotional needs, and why and how the backlash against its hour-long episodes is idiotic because, obviously, if you religiously watch the deleted scenes after every half-hour episode the first thing you realize is that every episode SHOULD be at least an hour, or maybe even just on 24 hours a day, every day.

(I may be wearing my Fun Run T-shirt right this moment.)

Wait. That might have BEEN my self-published manifesto. Please review it! Why do you hate literature?!?

Also: I would like to salute you for your singular intelligence in recognizing just how great the unfairly maligned "Run" by Ann Patchett is. And now I will return to finishing your signed hardcover of "Bel Canto."