So I'm hearing a lot of griping about the movie Cloverfield,* and I have to weigh in: Listen, all you people complaining that you felt queasy due to handheld cameraphobia, you're just not getting to the heart of the problem.
The real problem with Cloverfield was that the monster *SEMI SPOILER ALERT BUT ONLY A LITTLE* did not eat people or bite their heads off or generally rend them limb for limb (though 30 minutes in I had really started to root for him to do so). The movie was NOT gory enough. Now the parasite thingies were pretty awesome, and I liked how you only glimpse the monster at first, even though J.J. Abrahms would rather DIE than let us see anything on stupid Lost, and the fact that everybody getting messed up in NYC was under 30 and good-looking. In general I liked the movie for those reasons and the fact that it was barely an hour and a half long.
But you all need to stop being such crybabies about the handheld camera. Listen, I felt woozy when I walked out of the theater, too. But I sucked it up and went over to TGIFriday's and had a BIG glass of chardonnay and some fried macaroni and cheese, and the upset stomach disappeared like the residents of Manhattan in that movie.
*Cloverfield is not based on a book but if it had been, I would read it.
As I said, no thanks. I already *had* stomach flu.
Posted by: Eat Pray Love Vomit | January 25, 2008 at 05:25 PM
Er, it has come to my attention that some may mock me for drinking the wine at TGIF, but listen, it was La Crema chardonnay, which is really very good, even though I liked it better when it was 10 bucks a bottle instead of $15 or $16 like it is now. But it is NOT swill.
Posted by: Connie | January 25, 2008 at 05:55 PM
I have been known to pour myself a glass of 8-year-old cooking sherry at your house.
Posted by: Phoebe Flowers | January 28, 2008 at 12:01 PM
And it wasn't even GOOD cooking sherry. It was something nasty and cheap that never got used because, you know, I NEVER COOK WITH SHERRY.
But TGIF has come up in the world wine-wise.
Posted by: Connie | January 28, 2008 at 12:08 PM
I'm just glad you know the correct wine to order with fried macaroni and cheese. Fred Tasker could be out of a job soon.
Posted by: Jill Cassidy | January 28, 2008 at 02:51 PM
Yes, it takes a special sort of grape to complement the delicate flavors of fried mac and cheese AND soothe the stomach after 90 minutes of handheld camera madness.
Posted by: Connie | January 28, 2008 at 05:08 PM
after the first twenty five minutes I kept saying to myself..."monster?" and then I thought. "God I hope the monster kills them all"....but it really was an ok sort of "monster attacks the city" movie...I mean think of the others in the genre and they make Cloverfield look like Citizen Kane...
Posted by: patrick | January 29, 2008 at 02:09 PM
Right. Think of the Godzilla remake with Matthew Broderick. THAT was a nightmare of ineptitude.
Posted by: Connie | January 29, 2008 at 02:35 PM
Hey!
Why did you hide that cooking sherry on me???
Posted by: amy | January 30, 2008 at 05:13 PM
Listen, that cooking sherry went directly into the garbage after the first sip, and you should be happy about that...
Posted by: Connie | January 30, 2008 at 06:15 PM