Can Bob Woodward beat "The Secret"?

Talk about a no-win situation: PW Daily reports that publisher Simon & Schuster found that profits were down the first quarter of this year. Revenue fell 12%. The news is especially jarring when compared with last year's boon, the moronic popular self-help book The Secret, which apparently accounted for $53 million in S&S's first quarter last year.

S&S execs say they're expecting things to pick up, however. There are still chuckleheads out there who will buy The Secret, which touts the power of positive thinking and suggests that negative thoughts can bring on terminal illness, disease, poverty, stomach aches, shin splints and, possibly, premature baldness. Also expected this September: the fourth installment in Bob Woodward's Bush at war series, which one S&S exec says will definitely affect the election. Can that be good news for John McCain? Stay tuned!

Comments

[Brett Bayne]

Simon and Schuster keep using that word, "Secret." I do not think it means what they think it means. Isn't a secret something you DON'T tell 70 million people?

[Connie]

Psst! Here's a secret! Negative thoughts don't cause cancer or poverty!

[Amy]

But I do know a particularly negative man who is prematurely bald.

[bibliophile]

Such negativity! I've been thinking positively about so many things, and avoiding the MSM, which just tells me things I don't want to be true. For example, I'm sending all good thoughts Barack's way, AND visualizing my 401K getting bigger and my waist size getting smaller. And it's all working, right?

[Brett Bayne]

Negativity burnt my toast!

[Connie]

Let me know if that 401K thing works; mine is worth about 12 cents right now, which means it's time to put my secondary retirement plan (a box under the 95 overpass) into high gear.

[BarrackBlowz]

Let's put all our positive thoughts together and sing Kumbaya as Barrack magically brings us all together -- as he's been doing so brilliantly on the campaign trail (read that with much sarcasm).