In "It's the End of the World as We Know It" news, the Associated Press reports that Snooki (of Jersey Shore/getting punched in the face/falling down drunk on the beach fame) is writing a book. And here you complained when Ethan Hawke wrote a novel. At least he played Hamlet once.
Even more horrifying: The book - entitled Shore Thing - isn't about her exploits in that godforsaken, STD-riddled hot tub. It's a novel, complete with "big hair, dark tans, and fights galore" and will be published by Gallery, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.
The biggest shock? Snooki is not writing it by herself but with a collaborator (who will, I hope, be properly compensated for the pain).
National Book Foundation, consider yourself notified.