Moving on from politics to normal relationships, I'm not asking that question as though you are Jesus.
But rather in reference to the following romantic scenario, reluctantly provided by one of my buddies who is growing tired of having his dating adventures analyzed on this blog:
You're a 30-something single guy who has engaged an attractive female co-worker in conversation over the past two months. From day one, the conversations have become progressively friendlier and more flirty, with the most recent flirty conversation culminating in you asking her out on a date.
Now in these workplace conversations you guys have grown more comfortable with one another and have shared bits and pieces of your lives. You've revealed that you each have siblings, that you prefer beer, while she prefers Vodka, that you both like CSI, that you both grew up in or near the city where you live and work, that you both enjoy classic rock, and B monster movies. But the one question neither of you has asked is if the other is single. You just followed your gut and assumed it. Apparently you were right, 'cause she excitedly accepted your date invite.
It's date night. You two are sitting at a sidewalk cafe, sipping booze, sharing an appetizer, and yucking it up as you "analyze" people from the steady flow walking by.
Suddenly, your date looks up and locks eyes with a guy walking past your table. Her eyes light up and she jumps up. They embrace and chat briefly. They say goodbye and embrace again, and then the guy leans in and gives your date a kiss...on the lips. It appeared to be just a peck, but you're still taken aback. The guy makes eye contact with you, nods an awkward hello/goodbye, and continues walking. Your date sits back down, big smile on her face, and picks up the conversation where it left off. No explanation.
What do you do - drop your fork and ask her what the hell that was all about, pretend it didn't happen, or obsess over it and then avoid her at work the next day?
My buddy did a combination of one and three. Right away he dropped a jokey sort of hint about three being a crowd and saying he hoped some strange woman didn't come and grope him why they ate. But his date didn't take the bait and continued on as though the evening had gone perfectly. So the next day at work he felt goofy, he says, and avoided her.
Somebody's gonna comment that he's old enough that he should have had the nerve to confront her right away and ask what that lip peck was all about. But that can be easier said than done. Semi-shyness can be a powerful crippler.
I advised him to take her for coffee during the work day, tell her he had a really good time...mostly, and under good circumstances would like to do a second date. But first he needed to know if she was already in some sort of relationship with that sidewalk kiss-face dude.
What's there to lose? She's either gonna answer "Silly, that's my big brother. It was just a peck. It's how we do in my family!" But then there's the follow-up question of why she didn't introduce you to her "brother." Or she's gonna answer "Silly, that's my best friend, my gay best friend. It was just a peck. That's how we do in my circle of friends!" And then there's the question of why she didn't introduce you to her "friend." Or she's gonna answer "Yeah, that's my special buddy. We're swingers. And you're welcome to join the party if you're open-minded enough!" And then there's the logic that she didn't introduce you, 'cause she wasn't quite sure how to tell you about her lifestyle.
Either way, if she gives the right answer he continues trying to develop the relationship. If she doesn't give the right answer, then my buddy learns a valuable lesson about why it's rarely smart to date a co-worker...at least in a tiny office setting, where you have to see each other all day everyday.