For three years now, between this blog and my old one - mostly on my old one, I have ranted and raved about one of my biggest "pet" peeves: stupid humans who let their dogs crap on neighbors' lawns and don't pick it up and who cop attitude when you catch them in the act and ask them to pick it up.
As you may recall, I once threatened - before Christian Bale made super heroes cool again - to take my Louisville Slugger outside and declare myself Batman to any and all such offenders in my neighborhood.
Alas, I remain too pretty to go to jail. So I never became Batman.
Anyway, earlier today I read with great interest this story from the Washington Post about a former Maryland woman who was arrested, shackled, and later charged with trespassing for repeatedly letting her two little dogs wander into a neighbor's yard and, according to the neighbor, do their business.
My pledge to be honest compels me to admit I nearly cheered when I caught the gist of this story. I'm pretty sure I pumped my fist like Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club.
But then I kept reading and my cynical side saw that the alleged victims in this case were a Maryland State Trooper and his wife. And the alleged suspect in this case was arrested by Maryland State Troopers.
Coincidence? Probably, but it makes me slightly uncomfortable. And unfortunately, the way of the world sort of demands that even if your cause is righteous you should make every effort to avoid the appearance of impropriety.
But I'm wandering off on a tangent. In principle I'm thrilled with what the authorities in Maryland did. Too many people don't give a crap - ha ha, get it? - about the crap their dogs leave on other people's lawns.
It ain't cute. And contrary to popular belief it doesn't turn your lawn greener. It gives you stupid yellow and brown spots in your grass. And, all joking aside, I think it's one of the greatest signs of disrespect you can show to a neighbor.
The suspect here insists her dogs never crapped on the neighbor's yard. Maybe they peed once or twice, she admits, but nothing more. Hmmmm. She also insists her arrest and handcuffing was overkill.
What do you think of the criminal charges against her? I don't think she should be jailed. And I actually agree that an arrest and handcuffing, and possibly the charges were over the top. But I like that authorities tried a creative way to address this problem by using trespassing as their hook.
So, my bottom line: I don't like that it went this for, but if Johnson is convicted she should get 100 hours of community service, roaming her former neighborhood with a bag and a scooper.