I'm off today, belatedly celebrating my birthday. And today is a good day.
I woke up to sunshine, birds singing, no poison toads in my Koi pond, no neighbors' dog poop on my swale, and no crackheads hitting me up for coin-for-"food" outside the neighborhood Starbucks.
And like Ice Cube, I'd swear I caught a glimpse of the Goodyear Blimp, though I'm not sure if it read "James is a pimp."
But none of that is the big announcement.
The big announcement is that I'm launching a new career. No worries, I'm not quitting journalism. But I am now also a savings and loan institution.
My plan is to get loaded from my new part-time gig before the next US president is sworn in.
So if you need a loan, and you are fairly certain you won't be able to pay it back, I'm your guy.
The way I see it I will have loaned out all my dough by Thanksgiving, and I will have loaned most of it to people whose eyes are bigger than their wallets.
And when I'm all tapped out, I'll just ask the White House and Congress to bail me out...for a sum greater than what the First Bank of James is even worth.
Then I'll be able to retire relatively young from the news biz.
So that's my plan. I'm taking credit card applications for the next 30 days. All you need is a Coke and a smile, but no measurable source of income.
Why not? It works.
Sent via Blackberry from AT&T
Good idea. I'm next to broke anyway living off SSI and my working wife. Send an application.
Posted by: Mickysolo | September 19, 2008 at 12:52 PM
Love the Ice Cube reference...
Posted by: Gibbs | September 19, 2008 at 01:32 PM
My application is on its way. Please send me ten billion dollars. I want to buy out Wachovia, Bank of America, and the Mae siblings.
Posted by: The Sarcasticynic | September 19, 2008 at 01:52 PM
Why are the crackheads waiting outside of FourBucks?? Do they think anyone leaving there has money left to give??
Happy Birthday!!!!
Have a great weekend! :)
Posted by: Mary | September 19, 2008 at 02:13 PM
Happy Birthday you ruthless capitalist you.
I guess next you're gong to complain about the fact that suddenly the Treasury is guaranteeing money market funds after the Prime Reserve Fund went under. And that will cause a flow of funds from small local banks that pay insurance to FDIC into money market funds run by the largest Wall St companies since the govt. now guarantees money markets (the flow is called disintermediation, but then you know that because it happened in the late '70's) so you had beter hurry. Here's my app.
Posted by: The CEO | September 19, 2008 at 09:07 PM
What I meant to say, of course, was Mae/Mac. I've got to read a newspaper.
Posted by: The Sarcasticynic | September 20, 2008 at 06:12 AM