« Join me on NPR this afternoon | Main | Adolf Hitler denied birthday cake »

You too can be a Whopper

Remember that old Dr. Pepper commercial whose chorus went "I'm a Pepper, he's a Pepper, wouldn't you lke to be a Pepper too?"

I ask 'cause it reminds me of this new Burger King fashion/hygiene accessory.

Typically when I slip up and hit up a fast food joint, I go 'cause I want the taste of fat-filled burger.

But I've never wanted to smell like one. So it was with great interest that I found two boxes on my desk when I arrived at work this morning - both from Burger King. Both contained cologne. Actually it was body spray called "Flame." Same thing.

Here's the picture that accompanied "Flame." It didn't work for me, but who knows? It could inspire you to want smell like Burger King:The_king

Anyway, here's the funny thing - the slogan on the "Flame" label reads  "The scent of seduction with a hint of flame broiled meat."

After I had picked myself up off the floor from laughing so hard I sprayed a little "Flame" in the air. And I'd swear I smelled the "hint of flame broiled meat." But a male colleague said it wasn't there and I was succumbing to the mental power of suggestion.

We both decided though that "Flame" had to be wack, just the same as if CrackRonald's released a body spray called "Grease." But we also agreed that women are the best judges of what smells best on men.

So I took the "Flame" bottle to several female colleagues, including my boss, and let them smell it without showing them the label.

They loved it.

So now I am eating my words that "Flame" must be wack. I'm gonna let Mrs. B smell it. And if she likes it, there could be a shakeup coming soon in my daily body spray rotation.

I don't mind smelling like flame-broiled, lightly-seasoned meat, served my way on a sesame seed bun.

I've smelled worse things on humans.


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference You too can be a Whopper:


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.


You might wear the cologne, but PLEASE don't buy his mask.

It gives me the heebie jeebies.

The Sarcasticynic

If the goofball from the mailroom were to take the same bottle to your female colleagues, would they still say they love it?

James B.

Pamela, that mask spooks me too. No worries. I won't be wearing one, even on Halloween. Maybe on Halloween. That's not a bad idea. I need to write that one down! The King for Halloween.

Sarc, I know I'm pretty, but I don't have any Svengali powers at work. So I'm gonna give the mailroom guy the benefit of the doubt and say that my female colleagues still would have loved "Flame" coming from him.


It probably wouldn't be too successful at a PETA or vegan convention.


"Have it your way." lol Funny stuff James. If I gotta smell like a burger it might as well be a Burger King burger. I eat one Whopper a year. It's a craving thing.


"flame-broiled, lightly-seasoned meat"

Wasn't that your name in your old porn days? or is that all on the Q-T now?

The comments to this entry are closed.

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise