1. How come Wesley Snipes, after several years of not paying income taxes is probably going to jail, and Tim Geithner, after several years of not paying some of his income taxes, is rewarded with the position of Treasury Secretary? Shouldn't Kung Fu Wes' at least be offered a cabinet post?
2. Isn't it a great country that we live in, where Joaquin Phoenix can try his hand at rapping, and not get thrown into a bear trap or the lion pen at the zoo for his awful, and apparently fake efforts?
3. Is Britney Spears genuinely crazy and immaturely nasty, or just inconsiderate of her younger fans, for releasing a song titled If You Seek Amy? Say it real fast, and you'll get the innuendo. And consider a line from the chorus: "All the boys and girls want to If You Seek Amy." Tsk, tsk.
4. Speaking of bear traps, why hasn't Britney been thrown in one for making that song?
5. How is it that my anti-media conspiracy theorist buddy lectured me the other day on biased interviews in which the interviewer is an obvious fan of the interviewee, but at the same time applauded the interview Cindy McCain gave to dailybeast.com...in which her own daughter was the interviewer?
6. I don't condone picking on anyone's weight, but why is it that Hollywood types actively crave your adoration when they're svelt, but don't want you to criticize them if they gain an ounce? It's what happens when you put yourself in a glass house.
7. Why have so many national media outlets done full story segments on the Cali college student, who will go unnamed here, who's auctioning off her virginity for cash? We don't do full-feature stories on other prostitutes' first gigs.
8. Why, when people are canceling their cable and satellite TV plans to make budget, is the federal government about to mandate a switch to all-digital TV broadcasting - a move that will require all viewers to buy a digital converter box for their rabbit ears or buy cable and satellite plans?
9. How is it possible that Flo Rida, the sing-songy rapper who made the catchy hit tune Low, defied the one-hit-wonder curse and produced the Dead or Alive-sampled hit Round Round?
10. When will I be recognized as a fashion plate and creative genius?
11. How did I, a former geek - that's right, former - who's now cooler than the other side of the pillow, end up with a hot wife?
12. How did this guy pass the psych exam required by most police departments before they hand out guns and badges?
13. I know he didn't break any laws, but Portland, Ore., Mayor Sam Adams made out with a 17-year-old and then weeks later, when the kid turned 18, began having sex with the kid, and later lied repeatedly about the whole affair. So why does Adams still have a job? And why do I suspect, out of desperation to keep his job, he will eventually start accusing critics of being anti-gay?
14. Have you seen a better example of Karma lately than this headline: Racoon bites off rapist's penis?
15. Can the Black Artists Association member who criticized Michelle Obama for not wearing a black designer's dress to the inaugural balls swear that their wardrobe is populated by clothing exclusively or even mostly made by black designers? If not, can they please not whine about the First Lady's clothes?
16. Is Bart Simpson going to start sending subliminal Scientology recruitment messages across your TV screen?
17. If the death penalty is not made an option in the Casey Anthony murder trial, what message will that send to other inmates on Florida's death row - (allegedly) murder your child as opposed to a stranger and all you get is life?
18. Do Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's recorded comments about wishing to cash in on Pres. Obama's Senate seat really make him criminal or just dumb?
19. Setting aside partisan political leanings, with all the trouble this country is in right now why is Pres. Obama spending even one second verbally sparring with a talk show host? It's a question I'd also ask, BTW, if we were talking about Pres. McCain and a leftwing talk show host.
20. An aerial acrobat fell to his death yesterday in Arizona. That's an extreme sport. To the people calling for a ban on mixed martial arts and boxing: Are those sports really more dangerous than standing up and doing tricks outside a moving airplane?