« 20 Questions | Main | Michael Phelps and his bong make me wonder.... »

I'm having kittens for dinner!

That's right, tomorrow evening this will be me.Busheatingcat

I won't be a former president in a poorly doctored photo. But according to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, I'll be eating kittens.

See, I plan to have fish for dinner tomorrow. And PETA's latest inadvertent attempt to convince everyone on Earth to do the exact opposite of what PETA suggests, is a PR campaign to have fish renamed "sea kittens," so that fish eaters will begin to see them as cute animals and therefore not tasty when prepared beer battered and served with tartar sauce, fries, and cole slaw.

Advocacy for disadvantaged animals is great, since, like babies, they can't speak for themselves. But whether you believe in creation or evolution you can't deny that humans are king over the other animals. It's either the order of deity or survival of the fittest.

Yeah, yeah, I once had a hippie share an unoriginal thought with me: animals don't make bombs or fire guns, except for apes. Just ask Roddy McDowall.

Well, (sane) humans don't eat their young or fling their poop against walls...or randomly hump each other at the dog park.

So we rule.

It's true that we can get protein from very healthy vegetable sources, especially soy-based stuff. But some folks simply prefer delicious animals instead. It's their right. Their choice. Our choice.

So change the name. I don't care what you call fish. As Shakespeare might say, a sea kitten by any other name is still great with tartar sauce, fries, and cole slaw...and if I can get my grandmother's recipe, cathead biscuits.

But that's tomorrow night. Right now, I'm gonna go snack on some very cute sky puppies with sweet, sweet, honey mustard sauce.


TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b26169e2010536f9f3cf970b

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference I'm having kittens for dinner!:

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

insomniac

presumably PETA also have a problem with animals eating other animals. they should remember that human beings are animals too. we are the same but different.

claudia

I actually had grilled catfish today...it was gooooood.

James B.

Insomniac, I once met a vegetarian dog. Seriously, no punchline here. That was the weakest dog I've ever seen. He had a cough like he'd grown up in a coal mine. And I swear the last time I saw patchy fur like that it was on my former roommate who spent all his spair time smoking peyote and hosting drum circles.

Claudia, that's what I'm talking about. Although catfish are disgusting little creatures, when cleaned and grilled right you can't beat 'em. Sure beats the hell out of soysage.

Wavemancali

I'll give PETA a nice little incentive. Save all the children that die needlessly first. You don't even have to solve the homeless thing, just save all the children dying needlessly bit.

Once that's done I pledge to give every single cent in my bank account to your cause. Until then I don't want to hear any of their garbage.

ɔıuʎɔıʇsɐɔɹɐs ǝɥʇ

If you follow any of the links it seems like the whole website is geared towards children. I suppose they're trying to lure (pun intended) the innocent ones so they will try to sway their parents and friends against hurting fish.

The cast (sorry) of characters at PETA have tried to educate adults on their cause with questionable success.

First they tried to give us the line (again, sorry) that you should not eat anything with a face.

Now they want to hook (oops!) the kids by attaching 'kitten' to the names?!?

REELy now.

(ok, I'm FINished.)
.

James B.

Wavemancali, here here!

James B.

Sarc, you're killing me. No really, draining the life out of me. Have you ever done standup?

I'm teasing. Your puns are always clever. And I couldn't come up with 'em if I tried.

mark

I just had a some really great deep-fried walleye. It was so good. Im sure you had walleye when you were living in the "Land of Cheese." I always thought PETA stood for "People Eating Tasty Animals." Please pass the tartar sauce.
ps Im sure you get some really great sea bass down there in the Sunshine State.

Classof65

Tonight I had fried flounder "puppies" and some coconut shrimp "kitties" -- sooooo good!

The CEO

I wonder if I should have coffee with my salmon tonight, or after the meal? I really do like coffee and some decisions are tough.

I still support Freedom of Speech in this Country anyway.

og

I wonder what petards taste like? With a nice hollandaise I bet they'd be wonderful.

BT in SA

You know, James, I was willing to read you and "hear" what you had to say. I'm sure the "poorly" doctored photo is probably all over the web - I just hadn't seen it until now. I was giving you credit for having just a little bit more class than that. I was wrong. Just another angry black man, here. You won't notice one less visitor. I am offended. If someone had done this with BHO, all hell would break loose.

Oh - and about Michael Phelps and his bong? What about Barack and his lines of coke??? No mention of that. Wonder why. Never mind. The reason is quite clear.

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise