I don't know if you've ever heard of the merengue singer Crespo. Regardless, he was a headline last night on MiamiHerald.com. Apparently Crespo was caught giving himself a hand shake while on a flight from Houston to Miami.
A female passenger said Crespo was attending to himself under an airline blanket, when the blanket slipped and the contents of his, um, shifted into view.
The female passenger told a flight attendant, who told the pilots, who called ahead to Miami so that a hazmat team could be standing by when the flight arrived.
I'm kidding about the hazmat team, but note to self: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again ask a flight attendant for a blanket...or a pillow for that matter. If the AC is too high on the plane, shake off the cold, and grin and bear it.
What got me most about this was Crespo's reply to police in Miami, when they asked whether he had indeed been juggling his goodie bag on the plane: "I don't recall doing that."
"I don't recall doing that."
Hmmmm. I was thinking he'd say "No!"
I suppose maybe Crespo answered that way 'cause he's morally opposed to lying. Then again, if there was a choice of what to be morally opposed to, I'd think touching and exposing one's self in plain view on an airplane would outrank lying.
Crespo, if you make it through this mess, fire your PR advisor and image consultants. I'm relatively cheap, and if we could rewind the clock I would have saved you some grief and advised you to go into the bathroom. Those airplane bathrooms are hardly good for what they're actually meant for. May as well get some use out of them.
And next time, just say no...before you get the urge in public.
BONUS MATERIAL: Crespo's biggest hit to date has been his song Suavemente (Softly). He he he he he he!
PS. Follow me at http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.