What's crackin', friends and frienemies?
I hope you all have been well - all of you, really.
I have been in a contemplative mood, over life and its meanings, and the location of some of my money, and the growth of the birds Mrs. B and I rescued in the backyard, and why I'm cooler than the other side of the pillow, and so on.
But today, I'm jumping on the bandwagon of folks weighing in about the sort of topless picture of Miss California Carrie Prejean circulating the Web.
I don't think the picture's that big a deal. It's just her in pink bloomers, with a forearm covering her bare chesticles.
The human body is an exquisite thing. And it being bare isn't so bad, I say. The body is a work of art. Of course, some human bodies should not be shown under any circumstances, 'cause, well, they look just awful.
Carrie Prejean's body though? Heavenly. Ironic, considering she's in hot water following a widely publicized battle pitting her religious values against gay marriage advocacy.
Now she may lose her crown, for violating the Cali pageant's code of conduct by posing semi-nude and not admitting to it up front.
As you may recall, Prejean was first runner up in the Miss USA contest two weeks ago. And some folks suggested she lost 'cause she gave the "wrong" answer when gossip blogger Perez Hilton asked her what she thought about gay marriage.
Prejean told Hilton, who is gay and a vocal advocate of gay marriage rights, that she thought marriage should be between a man and a woman..."no offense."
Hilton later went off on her, called her a "dumb b!tch," and led a rally against her for being anti-gay.
I wrote that Hilton was out of order - not because he supports gay marriage or because Prejean doesn't, but because he asked Prejean her opinion, and she gave an honest answer. And if we can't accept honest answers - even when they disagree with our stance - then we have no business asking blunt questions.
Well, following that initial hubbub, Prejean said in interviews that man/woman-only marriage was "biblically correct." And she began to cite God, and Jesus, and Christianity, etc., as the driving forces behind her taking such a vocal stance, defending her pageant answer.
Setting aside what you think of her stance on this issue, from a Public Relations standpoint Prejean stepped into a pile of poo when she brought Jesus into the mix, 'cause you just can't win a character and right/wrong lifestyles fight if your only weapon is Jesus. That's not say he's not a formidable weapon, but that's because of his track record, you know? You? You don't have his track record. And if he's your main weapon, you need a secondary weapon too: a skeleton-free closet.
Sure enough, after telling anyone with a microphone who will listen that she tries to live her life in a Christian manner, this photo comes out. Since Christ-like living is what she's been pushing, that photo is her skeleton.
Again, I don't think a bare human body necessarily makes for a bad religious person. But that's just me.
Prejean denounced the release of the photo as an attack by leftwing radicals on her Christianity. But when your own actions are thrust in your face, that's not an attack on Christianity. Those aren't Christianity's chesticles on film. They're yours!
I hope her career - whatever pageant winners and runners up do after the contest is over - isn't ruined.
But I also hope she learned a valuable lesson that if you're gonna go public and name Jesus your co-pilot, you'd better be prepared to take hostile fire. And you'd better be prepared for it to hit you, 'cause your enemies and frienemies ain't gonna be aiming at him.
In the end, I still think Miss USA would be a more interesting pageant, if the contestants played chess with one another, had to speak a few words of Latin, and had to run a gauntlet with hungry grizzly bears on either side taking swipes at 'em as they ran by. And they need to add a talent contest, like Miss America, and it should include boxing while riding unicycles.
BTW, follow me at http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.