What's crackin' friends and frienemies? I have been so remiss with Burnettiquette. But hey, I had news to find and write, because my bills don't pay themselves.
We need to catch up. And I think the easiest way to do so is ask you five of the most pressing questions on my mind.
Without further ado:
- If "contract violations" are a good enough reason for Donald Trump to snatch Miss California Carrie Prejean's crown off her head today, why weren't they a good enough reason a month ago when Trump said she could keep her crown? Make up your mind, Trump.
- The number of people hurt by computer equipment rose eight-fold from 1994 to 2006, to more than 78,000. About 39% of the injuries are llacerations to the head. Victims age 9 and under were injured climbing on or playing near computer stuff. I get that. But how in the world do adults with all their faculties cut themselves on computers? I've got computer equipment everywhere at home. It has never wounded me...except for that time I shattered the stupid mouse 'cause it wouldn't respond. That hurt my wrist.
- "88" is a common tattoo on the slimy bodies of Nazi-wannabes, because "H" is the eighth letter of the alphabet, thus "88" is a supposedly clever and coy way for them to say "HH!" or Heil Hitler. You're welcome for the lesson. But my point is the irony: An 88-year-old Nazi-wannabe shot a guard in the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. today. The guard shot him back. No word on either man's condition as of the writing of this post. Why is anyone still angry at 88-years-old? Why not write off the parts of life that angered you most and spend the rest of your days or years engaged in your hobby...unless your hobby is plotting museum shootings?
- I sorta liked Ronald Reagan. There I said it. Deal with it. If it makes you feel any better, I liked a few things about Bill Clinton too. Anyway, I think former House Speaker Newt Gingrich dishonored the late president Monday night in his speech at a Republican fundraiser, when he took a jab at Pres. Obama for calling himself "a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world." Gingrich left out the "proud...United States" part of Obama's quote. He also failed to mention this quote Reagan made in a 1982 speech at the United Nations: "I speak today as both a citizen of the United States and of the world." What's the difference? BTW, it's not that the GOP doesn't have jabs that could work against Obama, but if this were a boxing match Gingrich's goofy swat on Monday was the equivalent of waving to his fans instead of throwing punches that will score points with the judges (voters).
- While we're talking politics, a friend who always asks me what he thinks are trick questions in the hope of tripping me up and "catching" me saying something racist, asked me if I have ever been in a situation where I thought my race made me better able to get the job done than a white person. My answer: Skill trumps everything. But...I do recall being with a white colleague at a rowdy homicide scene years ago in a black neighborhood. We each took one side of the block so we could talk to witnesses. On her side she ran into trouble when a group of young black males started yelling at her and accusing her of being everything from "the man" to an undercover cop. Silly accusations. But my colleague is tough. She was unruffled and persisted with her questioning. The guys grew more agitated and not only stopped answering questions but began hinting that they might get violent. So I crossed the street, intervened, and pulled my colleague aside to tell her to let me finish the interview. The guys calmed down and talked to me. Yes, I am convinced they did it in part because I'm black. So, did it make me racist to reason in my mind that my skin color might help me make progress with these guys where my colleague couldn't? I don't think so. I think I was using an available "resource." What do you think?
PS. Follow me at http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.