A woman from Poland is claiming her daughter was recently impregnated in a situation akin to immaculate conception, so she is suing the place where the apparent miracle took place.
Magdalena Kwiatkowska and her 13-year-old daughter recently vacationed in Egypt. When they returned home, the daughter told Kwiatkowska that she was pregnant. But Kwiatkowska says her daughter didn't meet boys on the trip, so the girl must've been the victim of "stray sperm" in the hotel pool.
That's right. Stray sperm.
I'm not sure whether I think this is an old-fashioned hustle, or if Kwiatkowska is just naive.
Maybe it's neither. But there's no way that kid is carrying Jesus or anything. Possibly the Antichrist.
Whatever. If the mom is right about the cause of her daughter's spermination, I'll never get in a hotel pool again.
Need I remind you? Stray sperm. They don't make hot enough showers for that.
Speaking of bodily fluids and swimming pools, when I was a little kid floundering about the neighborhood pool, there was an urban legend - at least I think it was just legend - that if you peed in the swimming pool you'd be caught 'cause there was invisible ink in the water that would have a chemical reaction with the urine, and create a cloud of black or blue ink around you.
If that ink pee thing wasn't legend and Kwiatkowska isn't a total headcase, you'd think they could put something in pools to alert other swimmers to "stray sperm."
Ha! I couldn't even write that last sentence with a straight face.
I read you via Google reader James and I only come to the actual site when I want to read or make a comment.
As such, I blame you for my morning headache as today's title made my head explode. The cross-out text didn't get crossed out in the transition between your site and the RSS feed.
I shall never again read you pre-coffee.
Posted by: Wavemancali | July 10, 2009 at 11:28 AM
Ha! Wavemancali, sorry for the morning headache. I promise to not try so hard to be clever w/my headlines!
Posted by: James B. | July 10, 2009 at 11:50 AM
That sounds like a bunch of malarky to me. I think mama has been fooled by her daughter!! Yeah - there might have been some loose sperm floating around in the pool (after the guy left the pool and the daughter pulled her bikini bottoms back up).
I have to laugh about the chlorine turning colors! I used to think that too as a kid. It was probably something the pool people started circulating to keep kids from peeing!
Posted by: Karmyn R | July 10, 2009 at 01:02 PM
That's the best thing I have read all day. I needed that. Ignorance is not always so bliss.
Posted by: C | July 11, 2009 at 07:28 PM
When good sperm goes bad...
Posted by: heartinsanfrancisco | July 11, 2009 at 10:28 PM
again, Burnette, you have succeeded in making me smile after a truly shitty day!
this is just too mucking fuch fo shibbly.
Posted by: cucuclaire | July 14, 2009 at 02:54 AM
"The mother is adamant" (impenetrable) "that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there."
That mom is sure hung up on penetration, (or the lack thereof,) isn't she?
Posted by: the sarcasticynic | July 15, 2009 at 05:42 AM
Ha. I just wrote about peeing in the pool. No special chemicals in the water, but sometimes you can tell.
http://class-factotum.blogspot.com/2009/07/random-wednesday-things.html
Posted by: class factotum | July 17, 2009 at 08:51 AM