According to CNN, some hardcore fans of the movie Avatar say the movie has made them suicidal.
Apparently, these fans-to-the-nth-power are so moved by Pandora, the fantastical world of the Na'vi - the 10-foot-tall Smurf cats who "become one (wink, wink!)" with the trees on their planet - that they're questioning whether it's worth living in a world whose mountains don't float, whose reptiles don't wear bridles and fly, and whose population consists of brown, tan, and white-ish meat bags averaging 5'10" in height.
From the CNN.com piece:
A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie:
"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' "
On the serious tip, obviously Mike needs counseling.
But practically speaking, it's clear that the adults in Mike's life failed to tell him as a child that Santa and the Easter Bunny and Superman aren't real, and that it isn't possible for Bart and Lisa Simpson and Stewie Griffin to not have aged over the past 20 and 11 years, respectively, and that you can't put yourself in a freezer and wake up on Futurama.
And Mike isn't alone. Other Avatar fans on Internet fan forums have expressed feelings of depression over their inability to live in that colorful world.
I'm torn as to whether this is funny, sad or pathetic, or all three.
Rapper Skee-Lo rhymed in 1995 "I wish I was a little bit taller..." It was a funny and bittersweet song, because Skee-Lo's point was work with what you have, not with what you wish you had.
So to all those Avatar fans thinking about the wild blue yonder (literally), leave your mother's attic, go outside, and take a deep breath of fresh air - unless you live in East St. Louis, blink a few times and realize that bright dot in the sky is harmless. It's the Sun. Appreciate it. Then come back down to Earth. It's not such a bad place if you ignore the people.
PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.