Back in the day, when I was a blindingly handsome college student, I had a bad case of Captain Save a... for about nine months, and I made a habit of dating ragamuffins who weren't really that into me and weren't that kind to me. They just used me for my beauty...and probably my money.
Seriously, I got made a punk of so many times in that period, that should've been my nickname.
But over a double shot of Patrón Añejo and a Teddy Pendergrass album one night, I got my groove back and didn't have to wait to exhale. And all you angry ladies out there should take note: It never crossed my mind to pour lighter fluid on my ex's clothes and burn them in her car. That's right ladies, violence is not the answer! Besides, trust me. Exhaling deeply and often is healthy.
Anywho, a few weeks later I had a "relapse" and decided to beg an ex-girlfriend to give me a chance, rather than telling her to go play in traffic, and then moving on with my life.
Thankfully, Teddy helped me with the "lyrics" of my corny plea. In retrospect though, I'm glad it didn't work. First of all, I wouldn't have met the current - first, last, only, etc. - Mrs. B. Plus, if my ex and I had gotten back together, right now I'd probably be gray all over, or I'd be about 450 pounds, weezy and miserable, with artificial knees and an artificial hip, and vying for a spot on The Biggest Loser. At least that's what I heard happened to the guy she ditched me for. Ha!
Anyway, back to my somber moment. Shortly after my ex thankfully declined to resume our relationship, I heard Teddy singing I Don't Love You Anymore. And when that ex called me a few months later saying she'd changed her mind, I remembered that song and had the mental clarity to tell her where to find the nearest busy intersection, and what time the lights turned green.
Go ahead, laugh. I did, a year after the fact, when I wondered how I could have ever been so corny. Then again, that was also the period of time I thought my occasional use of an S-Curl kit actually made my hair look better. So clearly I wasn't in my right mind.
I'm rambling, but here's to Teddy, and here's a studio recording of I Don't Love You Anymore.