Happy New Year...four days late!
We are off to a good start friends of Burnettiquette.
So far I have abided by my resolutions, which I selected this year based on things I'd like to do, not just things I think I can accomplish. Probably should've been using that standard in past years. After all, it's about the effort, right? So as part of my resolution revolution I've compiled a list of 20 mostly simple goals. I'm tired of plotting to be president, win the Mr. Olympia contest, split the atom, and become underwear model. For whatever strange reason, none of those things has happened for me yet.
But already this year, I have:
- managed to go shopping with Mrs. B two days in a row and not get demonstrably annoyed over her style of shopping (browse, browse, browse, consider buying, browse, browse, browse, think about it some more, browse, browse, browse, sleep on it and come back tomorrow to browse, browse, browse, then finally buy);
- lightened my humidor of only one cigar;
- run a short sprint in an end zone at Dolphins Stadium;
- stood up to a bully whose "power" source was nothing more than unearned wealth;
- scored a quality pair of jeans for the first time ever that were 100% comfortable from day one without me having to rough 'em up or wash 'em to soften 'em (I'm no label whore, but bravo Paper Denim & Cloth!);
- and made it to church on time without having to slink sheepishly past the disapproving ushers.
Still to come in 2009, I aim to:
- eliminate Dollar Weed from my lawn;
- begin a grassroots campaign to prove that it's much easier for different types of people to get along with one another when they're simply educated about differences, rather than forced in the name of political correctness to approve of every difference;
- figure out why the bamboo I'm trying to grow in the back yard isn't thriving;
- try a Yoga class;
- resume my Shotokan training with an eye toward reclaiming my black belt and adding a stripe to it;
- hold my first art gallery show for my painting;
- land a seven figure consulting gig, jointly paid by the Republican and Democratic national committees, so I can explain to the former why it can no longer blow off some ethnic minorities and remain viable, and explain to the latter why it can't take for granted that youth voters will stay with the Democratic Party just because they support the President-elect;
- launch five Web sites that I've been laboring over for a long time;
- hold a mini-promo tour for my first book (more on this later ;-)
- get my weight to 200 pounds even (I'm not fat! I'm 6-foot-3 and big boned!)
- wear a bow tie in public at least once a month;
- gently but firmly educate those friends and acquaintances who incorrectly think that depth of faith is best measured by religious denomination and that liberalism and conservatism can't exist outside the context of political parties;
- be even prettier than I was in '08;
- and become a certified, in demand Magic Negro.
- Pay my debts - all of 'em;
- Renew a couple of old friendships.