Burnettiquette

Mentor a kid today, prevent him from robbing you tomorrow

Check out my column in today's Miami Herald that expounds on the title of this post.

And don't forget to follow me at Twitter.com/JamesBurnett.

Miami club goer killed for not being a smoker

Remember when I wrote a column about being too old for nightclub craziness? This scenario wasn't in it. But may as well add it to the list.

Bad Samaritans - 20-plus walk past dying man on NYC sidewalk

Have you heard about this one?

Hugo Alfredo Tale-Yax, a 32-year-old homeless man in New York, saw a woman being attacked and intervened to help her. Tale-Yax managed to stop the assault and rescue the woman, but the assailant turned his knife on Tale-Yax, who, fatally wounded, collapsed on a nearby sidewalk.

Over the next couple hours, at least 20 people walked by Tale-Yax, as he lay in a growing pool of blood - some throwing quick glances his way, others oblivious to him or ignoring him. One man took a cell phone picture of him lying on the ground. Another man eventually tried to roust him. Eventually 911 was called. By the time they arrived, Tale-Yax had bled to death.

My instinct is to get on the bandwagon and say all the people who walked by him are A-holes who should be ashamed of themselves.

My good sense though says that I might have done the same thing: walked fast about my business, and made a snap judgment about him as I walked by, or pretended not to see him in case he wanted money or might try to engage me in conversation.

What?!?! You know I'm not writing anything you haven't thought yourself.

I walk around homeless people like Frogger dodging cars, when I stroll through downtown Miami on an average day. Sometimes you have to, or a theoretical 10 minute walk can turn into a 30 minute walk because you're stopping every few seconds to make a donation or engage in conversations about the mysterious black helicopters, or the aliens who are trying to land spacecraft at Bayfront Park or take over our brains.

I wish someone had stopped sooner to help Tale-Yax, but given all the wackiness out there, just how mad can we Monday morning quarterbacks be at those folks in the security video?

Face it: they probably assumed he was passed out drunk. Who knows? Maybe that block is known for hosting a gauntlet of passed out drunks.

One thing realllllllllllllllllllllly bothers me about the inaction though: News reports from NYC say that Tale-Yax was in a pool of blood. How do you miss that? How do you ignore that? Granted, he was stabbed at 5:40 a.m. Maybe it was dark outside yet. Still....

Question of the day - Under the same circumstances, would you have stopped to check on Tale-Yax, or would you too have zoomed right by?

I like to think I'd have stopped, but that's because it feels better to tell myself we all care. I can't swear that I would have. In fact, there's at least a 50/50 chance that I might have walked on by.

At any rate, kudos to Tale-Yax for being a hero. May he rest in peace. And may his killer get caught and get what's coming to him.

PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Nightclub Murders - What gives?

Happy Friday, people.

I have lots to say 'bout lots of stuff, but first I need you to indulge me a bit: Talk to me about the topic of today's column.

To read the whole thing follow that link. Please do read the whole thing! But if you don't have time, here's a synopsis: Over the past 12 months there have been at least eight murders or major assaults at South Florida night spots. With one exception, all of these incidents were sparked by verbal spats - someone calling someone else a name, someone looking at someone else the wrong way and then making a snarky comment, someone flirting with someone else's signficant other, etc.

There is an element out there - usually of the elected variety - that take these incidents to be signs that nightclubs are inherently unsafe, especially if they play "angry" music.

I don't see it that way. This isn't a club issue. It's a good sense issue. Sure, nightclubs need to provide adequate security, but you can't fault clubs for ignorant people who patronize the places and then act out.

Would you fault a restaurant owner if a series of jackasses choose to frequent his place and end their evenings by turning over tables and throwing dishes on the floor?

And when you come across a neighborhood that has a crime problem, you don't blame the officials who represent that 'hood or the cops who patrol it - not if you have good sense, anyway. You blame the people committing the crime.

Anyway, follow that link if you have a moment, then come back here and weigh in.

PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

High School teacher acquitted in dirty dancing case

I wish this was about some teacher pretending to be Patrick Swayze in his classroom, or something.

Instead, Nathan Grigsby, a Georgia high school teacher, was on trial this week on five charges that he contributed to the delinquency of a minor by not moving quickly enough to stop a striptease-like dance routine performed by several male students in his classroom.

No one - not Grigsby, not the male students, not the students watching - denied the sexual nature of the dance routine.

At issue was how much of the routine Grigsby saw and whether he moved quickly enough to stop the dance. Prosecutors argued Grigsby saw plenty - maybe the whole dance - and that he let it continue too long before stopping it, and even condoned it by laughing and applauding along with his students. He says he didn't condone anything, and that he didn't see much 'cause he was distracted. And when he did see the dance, he stopped it.

The jury sided with Grigsby on Wednesday.

Maybe the prosecutors should've gone after the parents for allowing their kids to learn and apparently get good at stripper dance moves.

Oh wait. That wouldn't happen 'cause parents can't monitor their teenagers every second of the day.

Why didn't the teacher get at least that same consideration?

Incidentally, prosecutors are still moving forward with charges of indecency against the boys in the dance crew.

PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

In the double standards for us and them category: Wachovia launders drug dough

My colleague Jay Weaver at the Miami Herald reports this evening that federal authorities in Miami have busted Wachovia Bank for laundering $110 million for a Mexican drug cartel.

By agreeing to pay a $50 million fine and forfeit their Tony Montana money, Wachovia will avoid criminal prosecution.

I have just one thing to say about this deal: You try this. Go ahead. Times are tight. Try to launder your neighborhood drug dealer's loot through your Wachovia checking or savings accounts. And when you're caught, offer to pay a fine worth roughly 45.5% of the value of the dirty profits.

Let me know how that goes. And make sure to include the address of the federal prison where you'll be living for the next few years. I'll send flowers and ointment.

PS. Follow me at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Teenager bullied to death

Tragic story: A 15-year-old Massachusetts girl whose family recently immigrated from Ireland, committed suicide almost two weeks ago. She was found dead in a bedroom of her South Hadley home.

Police say Phoebe Prince was likely pushed over the edge by "Cyberbullying," which is common enough these days that it has made its way into law enforcement lexicon. Police say Phoebe Prince was mercilessly taunted by classmates for the thick brogue on her accent and for being a foreigner, for dating a football player - something the cool girls apparently disapproved of, and simply for being new and different.

Now, some Massachusetts authorities want new anti-bullying laws passed to prevent this sort of thing in the future.

I'm always reluctant to cheer for new laws, 'cause frankly we've got plenty. And in terms of individual criminal behavior they don't get enforced consistently anyway. We should start there before adding to the pile.

I'm also usually reluctant to point a finger at parents for teenagers' bad behavior, 'cause unlike a lot child shrinks I'm not convinced teenagers are so naive these days. Mind you, I'm writing only from the perspective of a journalist who's spent nearly 15 years on the streets in a variety of neighborhoods, interviewing thousands of teenagers about issues that directly and indirectly involve their lifestyles, attitudes, and motivations. Far be it from me to contradict a doctor who says that teens don't have the maturity to form criminal intent, but my layman's observations make me skeptical of that notion.

Anyway, in spite of my reluctance, I kind of agree with the authorities in Mass. Not every kid has a thick skin. And you can't always blame that on a kid being a "wimp" or "too soft." It's not so black and white as to suggest that telling a kid to "toughen up" is the way to protect them from bullies.

Some bullies are relentless and don't just tease. They aim to torture, to inflict pain - emotional or physical - on their victims.

And as with most of my "exceptions" in the debate of parent v. child culpability, I want to blame the bullies' parents for their kids' behavior. Why not? In some municipalities like Boston, if kids play hooky too often and skip school without cause, even if their parents don't know, those parents can be called before a judge to account for the unauthorized absences.

I wouldn't mind seeing a law that compelled parents to "allocute" to what they may or may not have done in their children's lives to help their children become bullies.

Again, I'm not talking the stereotypical teasing lots of us dealt with in our school days. I caught grief in elementary school for having thick lips, and in high school for being too skinny (imagine that!) and for having an eraser head (tall, flat-top box haircut). I got over it. In some cases, I laugh myself in retrospect. Some of those scrawny girls from elementary school would pay big bucks for my lips these days!

No, the kind of stuff that Phoebe went through was on a different, much darker level.

If you haven't followed the link above and you question just how relentless bullies can be, consider this: Even after Phoebe died, bullies, run-of-the-mill A-holes, or a combination of both left mean-spirited taunting messages on a Facebook page set up to memorialize her.

PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Six Thoughts to settle into 2010 with: Tiger, Tequila, Arenas, Utopia, & Sand

• TV media personalities and tabloid types have done you a disservice on the Tiger Woods "story," by reporting a dozen-plus mistresses as though that number has been confirmed as fact, when, in reality, two or three mistresses have been confirmed. The rest were "confirmed" only by the credibility challenged women who've come out of the woodwork to claim affairs with Woods. Keep in mind, these are the same media figures who now refer to Woods as a "black" athlete, although they praised him as a multicultural "CaublAsian" when they thought he was husband/father/athlete of the century. So he's solely on Team Black Folks now? Great.
• The ignorant and sometimes dangerous antics of professional athletes across the various sports disciplines could be nearly eliminated if the National Basketball Association would pull a Pete Rose on the Washington Wizards' Gilbert Arenas & Javaris Crittenton and ban them from the league for life for bringing guns into the Wizards' arena. How stupid do you have to be to bring guns to work when your employer was forced to change its name from "Bullets" to "Wizards" to avoid the bad PR? Sure Arenas' guns were unloaded. But reportedly Crittenton's wasn't. Besides, Arenas is a numbnut. Who knows whether he just forgot to bring the ammo? The threat of no pay or Average Joe pay will cure these guys of what ails them.
• We are not in a "post-racial" America. That is a damnable myth perpetuated by political consultants from both sides of the aisle who are planning their next election heists. That very name - "post racial" - suggests that a majority of us have become so enlightened as to not notice or give serious consideration to other people's ethnic physical characteristics. Baloney. I'm the most "post-racial" guy I know. Seriously, Bill Cosby should be breaking bread Jello Pudding Pops with me. But even I can't ignore what people look like. It would be nuts to even try. We think it's neat when we see different-colored birds at the zoo. So there's no reason pretend we don't each have some kind of unique look too. A more credible theory might be that we're approaching a "post-racist" America, in which we can acknowledge other people's ethnic physical characteristics but not judge their character by their skin color. That would be a more credible philosophy, but I have my doubts we're there yet, either.
• News organizations everywhere should band together and make this the year we stop covering the likes of Tila Tequila in pages and on air once meant for useful information. Scratch that. I was dreaming. We're gonna have to cover her and her ilk as long as readers and viewers who shake righteously indignant fists at us in the morning continue to sneak back at night to get their gossip fill. Where information consumption is concerned, face it: You get what you want.
• This should go without saying, but if the cast of Jersey Shore consisted of eight Puerto Rican kids who relished calling themselves a racial slur that rhymes with "hick," MTV would not have even considered airing the show.
• Invest in silicone. You read it here first.

Gotta run. Till tomorrow, peace and hair grease.

PS. Follow me please at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

My first column of 2010: Lying to kids about being grown

Welcome back to Burnettiquette, friends and frienemies. If you haven't been keeping up, don't worry. You haven't missed much 'cause I haven't been posting much to the blog (only two or three times over the past couple of months).

Things, both good and meh, have happened over the past couple of months. And in time, I'll fill you in.

For starters though, a few of you have emailed me to ask how my column is coming.

If this is your first time here or your first time in a long time, then you may not know that I added "columnist" to my repertoire back in September.

Most of you know the difference between columnists and reporters. But for any who don't know, a reporter is tasked with gathering and writing the facts - telling them, and breaking them down and explaining them where necessary. A Columnist reports fact(s) and shares his opinion of 'em.

So in addition to writing feature stories on trends in popular culture, urban living, sometimes entertainment, sometimes race/culture issues, and sometimes politics, once a week I write a column, an opinion piece. It publishes every Friday.

So my first column of 2010 was about the subconcious descriptions and definitions we give to kids about "adult" behavior, and how those can inadvertently convince kids that irresponsible = adult.

Example: If you're in any sort of authoritative position, have you ever scolded kids - teenagers maybe - about the dangers of unsafe sex and dropped the "adult" bomb on the kids? If so, I have a theory: You're well intentioned, I know. But I'm convinced that some kids draw a literal correlation between your scolding and the action you don't want them to do. In other words they don't hear your warning and think "I'll leave sex to the adults, period!" They hear your warning and think "I'll have sex. But I'll just wear a condom!"

You can substitute sex for playing with guns, driving drunk, etc.

So, I'd argue that if you want your kids - especially your teenagers - to act more "grown up," don't give them those bogus old arguments about what behavior is childish and what behavior is adult-like.

Anyway, if you want to check out my column on the subject, just click here.

PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

My Friday Column: Convict in Clergy's Clothing

Another shady preacher in Miami gets slapped by a jury. The verdict in this case came this morning, less than 24-hours after I offered my opinion.

I'm not anti-religion. My father's a minister. What I'm against is clergy appearing to use the piety of formal religion to pursuade parishioners to support big lifestyles.

I'm against clergy who treat what they do as an occupation, rather than a calling, and therefore like most "employees" make their "jobs" about advancement and money.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Here is the column.

PS. Follow me, please: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.