Burnettiquette

My first column of 2010: Lying to kids about being grown

Welcome back to Burnettiquette, friends and frienemies. If you haven't been keeping up, don't worry. You haven't missed much 'cause I haven't been posting much to the blog (only two or three times over the past couple of months).

Things, both good and meh, have happened over the past couple of months. And in time, I'll fill you in.

For starters though, a few of you have emailed me to ask how my column is coming.

If this is your first time here or your first time in a long time, then you may not know that I added "columnist" to my repertoire back in September.

Most of you know the difference between columnists and reporters. But for any who don't know, a reporter is tasked with gathering and writing the facts - telling them, and breaking them down and explaining them where necessary. A Columnist reports fact(s) and shares his opinion of 'em.

So in addition to writing feature stories on trends in popular culture, urban living, sometimes entertainment, sometimes race/culture issues, and sometimes politics, once a week I write a column, an opinion piece. It publishes every Friday.

So my first column of 2010 was about the subconcious descriptions and definitions we give to kids about "adult" behavior, and how those can inadvertently convince kids that irresponsible = adult.

Example: If you're in any sort of authoritative position, have you ever scolded kids - teenagers maybe - about the dangers of unsafe sex and dropped the "adult" bomb on the kids? If so, I have a theory: You're well intentioned, I know. But I'm convinced that some kids draw a literal correlation between your scolding and the action you don't want them to do. In other words they don't hear your warning and think "I'll leave sex to the adults, period!" They hear your warning and think "I'll have sex. But I'll just wear a condom!"

You can substitute sex for playing with guns, driving drunk, etc.

So, I'd argue that if you want your kids - especially your teenagers - to act more "grown up," don't give them those bogus old arguments about what behavior is childish and what behavior is adult-like.

Anyway, if you want to check out my column on the subject, just click here.

PS. Follow me, please, at twitter.com/jamesburnett.

My Friday Column: Convict in Clergy's Clothing

Another shady preacher in Miami gets slapped by a jury. The verdict in this case came this morning, less than 24-hours after I offered my opinion.

I'm not anti-religion. My father's a minister. What I'm against is clergy appearing to use the piety of formal religion to pursuade parishioners to support big lifestyles.

I'm against clergy who treat what they do as an occupation, rather than a calling, and therefore like most "employees" make their "jobs" about advancement and money.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Here is the column.

PS. Follow me, please: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Ten things that surprise me...or maybe not

• Levi Johnston, former almost son-in-law to Sarah & Todd Palin and father of their only grandchild, exposed his junk for Playgirl magazine.
• Playgirl magazine still exists.
• In her new book, Going Rouge Rogue, Sarah Palin bit the hands that fed her. And relax, Palin fans. I'm neither bashing the GOP or hockey moms. You should know this already. But just in case, "Bit the hand" is just a figure of speech, not a comparison to a dog or any other mammal large enough to hold a hockey stick or wear lipstick. Anywho, setting aside your political leanings, you have to believe that any reining in done by McCain staffers during last fall's presidential election was done to help McCain - and therefore Palin - win the White House. To bash those staffers now over things like diet advice, wardrobe, Saturday Night Live, and media interviews is silly.
• The first missing kid whose picture was posted on the side of a milk carton is still missing 30 years later. Not making fun. It's a tragedy. But have you ever taken even 10 seconds to look closely at one of those milk carton pics and then kept an eye out for the kid? Me either. And I used to drink a lot of milk.
• In the "It was bound to happen" category: A young athlete with big potential did not drop out of college to turn professional. Nope, Jeremy Tyler broke a record. He dropped out of high school. That's right, Tyler, a 6'11" basketball phenom, quit San Diego High School after his junior year. You can't enter the National Basketball Association draft till you're 19. So the impatient Tyler stupidly signed a 1-year $140,000 (that's thousand, not million) contract with a pro team in Haifa, Israel, so he could polish his skills and raise his profile till he becomes eligible to play in the U.S. Here's the shocker: Tyler's Haifa experiment is going very badly A good crossover dribble is great. Tyler's suck-ups (parents, friends, etc.) should have told him reading is fundamental, 'cause at the rate he's going, he may never make it to the NBA.
• The U.S. Army gave a bogus story...at first about the circumstances surrounding the murders committed at Fort Hood recently by Army Maj. Nidal Hasan - everything from who took him down, to whether he'd made any declarations involving his religion, to whether he was alive or not, following the shooting. Why?
• Andre Agassi's early-to-mid 1990s power mullet was actually a pelt. I would have written about this sooner, like right after Agassi admitted it in his new book. But the shock was too great for me.
• This one falls into the Hell-must-exist-for-people-like-this category: A woman in Texas faked breast cancer, so she could collect donations and use 'em to pay for breast implants. She got the implants.
• Carrie Prejean has more sex tapes, eight total. So if the first that she admitted to was "the biggest mistake of (her) life," as she told Sean Hannity on his Fox News Channel show, then where on the sliding scale of mistakes do the other seven tapes fall? Lesson: It's OK to take a moral stance on something, even if your stance is unpopular. If you're really principled, then popularity shouldn't phase you. On the other hand, before you take "principled" stands that involve finger-wagging, news conferences, and making the talk show rounds, you'd better make sure you don't have any closet skeletons that will negate your self-righteousness in the eyes of the general public. That's not caving in to popularity. That's just good sense. BTW, those of you, my friends, who always scold me for allegedly picking on sexually "free" people, leave me alone on this one. I'm not picking on Prejean for loving herself. But you gotta admit it was kind of very stupid to do it on tape, know the tapes were out there, and still go on a media blitz portraying herself as the picture of the new, modern, young "Christian soldier."
• This one from the Daily Mail in Britain: Universal Pictures, one of the film companies that frequently distributes to theaters worldwide movies so bad they might cause cancer, has been busted in the UK for deleting the images of African American actors Faison Love and Kali Hawk from promo posters for Couples Retreat. Asked to explain, Universal said it was innocently trying to "simplify" the poster for international audiences. Loosely translated, "simplify" in this context means "remove the scary black people so that our British audiences don't see the posters and get turned off to this film."

I told you about this...

What's crackin', friends and frienemies?

I hope you've all been well and have had a restful break from me blogging. See how I flipped that and put the onus on you for my absense? Man, I'm good. I should be a politician.

Anywho, I've been plotting my takeover of the world in recent weeks, starting with conquering the Internets.

On a more serious note, I wanted to write a quick something about a current homicide case unfolding in the Miami area.

In mid-September, 17-year-old Danny Rodriguez, a student at Coral Gables High School, fatally stabbed classmate Juan Carlos Rivera, also 17, on campus.

Since then speculation, based on what friends and family of both young men had to say, was that this murder was largely about a fight over a girl.

And it turns out that was part of it. But what actually prompted the murder, the morning of Sept. 15th? A "mean mug," or as Rodriguez told police in interrogation video released yesterday, a "bad face."

Yep, on the morning of the murder Rivera gave too tough a look to Rodriguez and took a knife in the gut and the back for it.

Some of you not familiar with the urban colloquialism of "mean mug" may think it's a stretch that a "bad look" could prompt a murder in any but an insane person, but consider it a sign of the times.

When I covered crime back in the day, I wrote about murder cases in which the otherwise "normal" suspect took a life over a scuffed shoe, flirting with another man's girlfriend, scratching another man's car bumper, and so on. I could go on and the "motives" would get even more trite, but I think you get the point.

So I have to say I'm not surprised, not even a little bit.

May Rivera rest in peace.

Follow me: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Organic gardening in an unlikely place

So I have this story in today's Miami Herald about a very cool gardening project in Overtown, a gritty Miami neighborhood.

Ironically, even if you don't live in South Florida, if you've ever watched an episode of A&E Network's murder documentary series, The First 48, or a Rick Ross music video, you might still be familiar with Overtown.

Anywho, the story is about an organic garden in the middle of Overtown. And I don't know about you, but I admit that in the past when I've heard people in the so-called "concrete jungle," boasting about their organic garden, I've usually found one of two things: Either the "garden" turns out to be a half-dried 6x6-foot patch of dirt with Charlie Brown's Christmas tree growing out of it, or the garden turns out to be the product of obnoxious yuppies who planted it only as a conversation starter, for when they have well-heeled "green" friends over to visit.

So when I first heard about the Overtown organic garden, I was skeptical. I was thinking "This neighborhood has issues. Who gives a crap about a garden?"

But then I went and saw it. It's not a dry patch. It's nearly an entire city block and is in the process of expanding to two more full city blocks.

It employs people in the neighborhood. And is thriving so much, that at least one major grocery store chain is considering doing business with this garden. It is a beautiful space that is spreading the vibe.

So if you have a minute, follow the link at the beginning of this post and check out the story.

BTW, don't forget to follow me at: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.

My Friday Column: To snitch or not to snitch

What's crackin' folks? Happy Friday to you.

My column in today's Miami Herald is about a kid who sort of bucked a national trend and "snitched" on another kid who was trying to commit a theft. The kid who reported the attempted theft got second and third-degree burns for his trouble, when the other kid rounded up several friends, tracked down the "snitch" and set him on fire.

We have this tunnel vision - some of us do, anyway - that says "stop snitching" is an urban phenomenon that takes place in the so-called 'hood and (only) involves gangbangers and wannabe rappers and poverty-stricken people who fear gangbangers and wannabe rappers.

In reality though, "stop snitching" is an American phenomenon. It's as classic as apple pie and Ballpark franks. It is pervasive in police departments, in the military, among athletes who know damned well that teammates are abusing 'roids, among young siblings, etc.

And so when something like this happens, we all shake our fists and say "How dare they set this kid on fire!" But our culture says something else, because "snitching" is discouraged no matter what we say on our soapboxes.

Anyway, read the column here.

Friday Column: The myth of the lucrative drug deal

What's crackin' folks, and Whatever-emotion-you-want Friday to you.

So, today's column in the Miami Herald is about a young man convicted by a Miami jury yesterday of manslaughter for accidentally shooting and killing a 9-year-old honor student while she played outside her home. Damon Darling, 24, was apparently trading shots with another poorly-aiming knucklehead over a drug deal gone bad.

Now Darling is going away for a long time for the death of Sherdavia Jenkins. The outrage over her death is a given. And I'd be worried if the outrage wasn't there, or if the pinheads who wrote me a few weeks ago complaining that human deaths are no big deal because humans aren't innocent like animals dominated this discussion.

What was sort of overlooked a little was Darling's motivation for putting himself in a circumstance that led to him killing a little girl: He wasn't a drug dealer because he was desperate for money to help pay his sick grandmother's medical bills. He was a drug dealer, because he thought he could get rich quick, easily (the two are not synonymous in this case), or both.

And having written about crime for years, I know that Darling's belief about dealing was 99% myth. Most street level drug dealers are not "rich." Most never get rich. Most never even "earn" a livable wage and could probably make more money flipping burgers. And yet they cling to this Scar Face-esque dream, like the high school kid with two left feet who thinks he's going to the National Basketball Association.

Anyway, if you have three minutes, check out the column here.

And don't forget to follow me: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett. 

My Friday Column (Only three days late!): When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong

What's crackin' friends and frienemies? An uneventful Monday to you.

So last Friday's column, which I neglected to post for you on Friday, was about the dangers of keepin' it real, at least in the context in which that phrase is commonly used these days.

The topic was timely for me, 'cause I was already planning to write about a group of successful men who've been gathering in a troubled neighborhood here in South Florida to talk with boys and young men about keeping their lives in order, staying focus, making something of themselves, etc.

The notion may seem generic, but until someone comes up with a better solution - like forcing parents at gunpoint to spend quality time with their impressionable sons - then I applaud any man who will take time out of his day to share with kids who aren't his the story of how he made it, and how they can too.

But it wasn't all uplifting speech. The main speaker at the group's gathering last week had planned to speak to the boys and young men about building character. Then he heard about the beating death in Chicago of 16-year-old honor student Derrion Albert, by alleged gang members. So he decided to alter his talk about to address the issue of the gang members who are charged with killing Albert committing that murder, because he inadvertently interrupted their rumble, and they "had to" punish him.

They kept it real. Now, they're likely going to prison for decades, if not life.

Using the definition that says a "real" man has to respond and react to every perceived slight, I've never been big on keepin' it real.

Like Dave Chappelle used to point out on his former Comedy Central series, keepin' it real can get you beaten up, fired, or locked up. Emphasis on that last one, 'cause I am too pretty to go to jail.

Anyway, if you have time, check out the column here.

BTW, follow me, please: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Chicago Beating Death

By now you probably know that a teenage boy was beaten to death in Chicago earlier today by two groups of other teens who were fighting each other - allegedly a gang dispute, but jointly turned on the victim when he unwittingly wandered into the middle of their rumble.

Now, Derrion Albert, a good student and church-going kid with absolutely no reputation for violent or criminal behavior of any kind, is dead.

Over the next several days, good people in Chicago will March, ask police for more patrols, and ask the city for more $$$ to help fund programs to save the kids from themselves. People will also say the violence must stop, but they will say it in a way that mimicks the dissipation of smoke in the open air: that plea will go nowhere, because it will be aimed at no one in particular.

Yeah, communities have to turn on criminals. But this kind of mind-numbing violent crime, involving perpetrators as young as 17, won't stop until communities also turn on parents who allow their children to raise themselves and who don't compel their kids to behave.

That's right. Parents. The four knuckleheads in custody in Chicago for killing Albert didn't lose respect for human life this morning. It's been building for some time, and probably because no adult relative or guardian got in their faces and told them to straighten up or else.'

Pathetic.

PS. If you're considering leaving a racist or borderline racist comment on this post, don't bother, unless you have newly discovered scientific evidence that there is a cause and effect relationship between skin color and behavior. If you don't have that proof - that color causes certain behavior, then swallow your prejudice and face this fact: this crime was (allegedly) committed by four young men, not every other young man in this country who happens to share a tan with them. Hell, I look like 'em. But I look like the victim too. Chew on that.

PPS. I wonder if I'll hear from the readers who wrote me on Friday to say they care less about human victims of crime than animal victims, because human victims ask for it. Hmmm, Albert's family would no doubt be thrilled to hear that enlightened view of the cycle of life.

Follow me, please: http://twitter.com/jamesburnett.

Friday Column: Beer Tastes & Tap Water Budgets

What's crackin', friends and frienemies? Happy Friday.

My column this week is about a young woman, Yanira Doyle, who is surviving South Florida's real estate crisis right now, because she used her head before the crisis struck. We need more Yanira Doyles buying houses:

Basic logic could have prevented real-estate mess

By JAMES BURNETT

jburnett@MiamiHerald.com

Yanira Doyle could easily be a prophetic figure in the South Florida real-estate market, and all because she didn't let her eyes get bigger than her stomach.

Before the housing market began to slide sharply downward two years ago, Doyle, then a 26-year-old prospective home buyer who is not psychic, saw the future and weighed her options accordingly:

Buy a gleaming condo in a shiny tower on the beach and fit snugly into the sometimes skewed impressions distant friends and relatives have of South Florida, based on Travel Channel shows -- or buy a place where monthly expenses weren't so high that Doyle couldn't maintain it, pay her other bills, and continue to build a savings account.

`A NO-BRAINER'

Doyle, featured recently on the WLRN FM 91.3 radio show Under the Sun for her uncommon sense, opted for the latter. ``It was a no-brainer to me,'' she says. ``You buy what you can afford.''

Don't scoff at the simplicity of Doyle's logic. Unless you've had your head in the sand for the past couple of years, you know that there are plenty of South Floridians and prospecting interlopers who did just the opposite of Doyle and now find themselves in trouble.

For all the academic and government studies on what went wrong, it can be summed up like this: There is an anti-Doyle attitude pervasive in South Florida, an attitude that says, I can only achieve the American Dream by keeping up with the Joneses . . . even if the Joneses earn more money than me.....

Go here to read the rest of the column.