During the critics' tour, press conferences after the first couple of days tend to resemble some kind of sinister late-night documentary on Animal Planet, with critics taking on the roles of wolves who drag stragglers down and strip them of their flesh. But once in a while, the roles are reversed. Larry David, the curmudgeonly star of HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, is a kind of one-man wolfpack himself, and a rabid one at that. Here are a few representative exchanges from a press conference he held Thursday.
QUESTION: Was there some question that you weren't going to come back after last season?
DAVID: Every season that I do is my last season. That's the only way I can get through the season. If I thought that I had to come back and do it again, I would never do it in the first place.
QUESTION: How many groups do you hear from each season who've been offended?
DAVID: Nobody seems to be offended except for the people who just hate me in general.
QUESTION: One last question. Do you think you've made --
DAVID: Why do you get two? [Bleep] this guy. There's a lot of people here. Shut up. That's enough from you.
QUESTION: Why are you so willing to portray yourself --
DAVID: Careful, careful.
QUESTION: -- you are portraying yourself --
QUESTION: -- as such a shmuck?
DAVID: I'm portraying you, shmucko....I'm Jesus Christ. I'm Jesus Christ. I'm sacrificing myself for the betterment of humanity.
QUESTION: Larry, can I ask, how do you think you've grown as actor?
DAVID: Not at all.
QUESTION: I wonder if things happen to you in life now when you're looking for ideas for your scripts where you're angry at what's happening to you but you're glad because you're going to get your revenge by acting them out?
DAVID: Yeah, if something happens, if I'm angry or something, I'll go, "I'm going to use that." Yeah, so it works like that. Does that answer your stupid question?
QUESTION: How does your Jewish identity inform your comedy?
DAVID: Oh, Jesus.