At last, we have an answer to the question, is there anything that NBC -- the network of Fear Factor, Knight Rider and Kath & Kim -- won't put on the air? And the answer is Yes: Women cannot have sex with pumpkins, broccoli or asparagus, not while the NBC cameras are watching. No word on other vegetables, but if you're a carrot or a green bean, I don't think your chances of boinking that cheerleader on Heroes are too good.
The continued existence of NBC's Standards & Practices department, previously thought to have quietly expired sometime during the Clinton administration, came to light this week when the network banned a Super Bowl ad from the animal-rights folks at PETA. Entitled Veggie Love, it depicts a bunch of lithe lingerie models lasciviously writhing around with the aforesaid greenery on sofas, tables, floors, piano benches and practically any other flat surface you can think of. There's even a scene in a hot tub which, if you're a vegetable, would come uncomfortably close to cannibal sex. All this is accompanied by a convenient subtitle that explains, "Studies show vegetarians have better sex." Though not necessarily with human beings, apparently.
NBC must have really hated the ad, considering that it still hadn't sold out all its Super Bowl commercials as of Thursday morning. (Usually all the ad time has been sold weeks and even months in advance.) But there's no confirmation yet that the network is considering giving the PETA slot to a commercial for the Bacon Explosion.