After an uncharacteristic moment of sanity, the Emmys have resumed hurtling toward the cliff. After writers -- the same guys whose three-month strike in 2007-2008 have wrecked the past two television seasons -- threw a tantrum, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences canceled a plan to cut eight awards out of September's live telecast.
The Emmy telecast's Nielsen ratings have been plummeting for years, partly because the Emmys are among the stupidest and most useless awards in Hollywood (there are over 100 categories in prime-time programming alone, and everybody in Hollywood who's breathing gets nominated for something) and partly because a good chunk of the televised awards ceremony goes to people who no one outside Hollywood cares about (writers and directors) for shows no one outside Hollywood ever heard of. (Quick: Tell me who won the Emmy for best directing of a variety series last year. Hell, tell me who won it ever.)
But since the announcement a couple of weeks ago that eight categories would be trimmed out of the televised part of the ceremony, the protests -- especially from the writers -- have been nonstop. And Wednesday, the academy capitulated and restored them. So good for all you 13 viewers who remain -- you'll still get to see the screenwriter of some obscure miniseries on Bulgarian frontier doctors thank his third-grade teacher for all the inspiration. Just make sure there are no sharp objects within reach.