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Will Connie Francis sing 'Where The Martians Are'?


Ever since Miami Social, much of the world has been praying nightly for Martian death machines to land in WarofworldsSouth Beach and reduce it to a smoking, lifeless ruin. But the Martians must be using a crummy GPS from the closeout table at Costco, because they're going to Fort Lauderdale Beach instead and obliterate the whole of Broward County. (Those of you smart enough to be reading a Miami Herald blog instead of that perfidious Brand X newspaper up there can now flee to safety. You're welcome.)

Broward's destruction -- or liberation from Stacy Ritter, depending on how you see it -- will come on Halloween night when radio station WLYF (101.5 Lite FM) runs an updated version of War of the Worlds, the infamous Orson Welles broadcast that freaked out most of America in 1938. Instead of landing in Princeton, New Jersey, the Wells,jpegMartians will land in Fort Lauderdale, interrupting a live remote radio broadcast. Lite FM "News reports" will track their robots as they flash-fry valet parkers on Las Olas, make the bargain-hunters at the Swap Shop wish they'd stayed in the house to watch the Home Shopping Network, and settle the question of blackjack at the Hard Rock with a ringing finality.

Dave Corey, the creative services chief at WLYF, is producing the show. He's also supposedly working on a Miami version of Miracle on 34th Street for Christmas. No details yet, but I'm supposing it involves a little girl who doesn't believe in hanging chads until she's set straight by a jolly department-store Al Gore.

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