I know you Oprah fans love a good cry, but save it for a two-headed kitty or somebody poisoned with mad- cow disease by powerful and sinister Big Meat. The orgy of goodbyes to her syndicated talk show last week was an impressive salute to the power of synthetics -- in this case, Oprah's artificial claim of retirement.
She said she's leaving her syndicated talk show in September, 2011. Somewhat lessheralded was her announcement that her own cable channel, the Oprah Winfrey Network, will go on the air in January 2011. Count on eight months of lugubrious what-will-we-do-without-you goodbye shows, followed by a miraculous deliverance: Well, darlings, you can just follow me right over to my own network!
Did I say eight months? Pardon me for the mental lapse. Make that 24 months. "The countdown to the end of The Oprah Winfrey Show starts now," said Oprah in her announcement last week. "And until that day in 2011 when it ends, I intend to soak up every meaningful, joy-filled moment with you." Whispering in your ear to demand that your cable company add the Oprah Winfrey Network, even though it's going to cost about twice as much as ESPN.