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James Bond! All day! All night! Til you lose your mind!

It's gratifying and also somewhat frightening that I have dorky, asocial and misanthropic readers like you Goldfinger who, rather than sharing holiday reflections of life's blessings on Thanksgiving Day, are reading this blog instead. But honestly, why aren't you parked in front the tube, watching the Syfy channel James Bond marathon? You blockhead, it started at 11 p.m. Wednesday so you've already missed hours of car chases, explosions and sociopathic sex with busty KGB assassins. The good new is that it goes on for 43 hours, until 3 a.m. Friday, and includes a film featuring every single Bond. Yes, even George Lazenby.

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