I wrote a story this morning from court, and by court I mean the waiting room at 73 W. Flagler St. where I was prospective juror 576. Gotta admit. The spacious and (largely empty) civil court jury room feels like Shangri-La compared to the zoo that is jury room at criminal court.
Thank God for the chick flicks.
How else could I have withstood my six-hour wait without the cuddly smile of Drew Barrymore in Fever Pitch or the sassyness of Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama (though it's mind boggling that Melanie chose bumpkin Jake over super bachelor Andrew; he's sooooo cute!)?
Either way, the fun of Movie Day at Court was interrupted by this so-called "civic duty," meaning I sat on a prospective jury panel in Victoria Sigler's court on a dog-bites-woman-who-sues-owners-who-don't-acknowledge-case-and-are-found-liable-by-default-and-jurors-are-needed-to-reward-damages case.
I was highly offended. I clearly wrote on my questionnaire that my impartiality could be questioned "BECAUSE I COVER EXCLUSIVELY CRIMINAL MATTERS," which meant I needed to be dismissed right away but for some reason the attorneys only asked us about who our fear of dogs and their jaws. I longed to raise my hand like a third grader and say "Ooh! Ooh! Mr. Attorney, Sir. I covered a fatal Presa Canario attack in Broward. Dismiss me! Me!" But he never looked my way and I just shrunk into my seat. Dismissed for my lack of dog-bite scars, I finished watching Melanie ruin her life and after dismissal returned to my normal CRIMINAL mayhem.