Crime Scene

Missing holy man found at strip club

Now, this is more like it.

From the Associated Press:

Police say a pastor who was reported missing from his home in western New York has been found at an Ohio strip club.

The money quote: Detective Matt Sturgeon said the Right Reverend felt "emotionally guilty" when police confronted him.

3 kids killed at Baltimore hotel

Horrible news from the Baltimore Sun:

A Montgomery County father engaged in a custody battle brought his three children to an Inner Harbor hotel and apparently killed them yesterday, Baltimore police said.

The bodies were discovered after the man called hotel security about 1:15 p.m. from his 10th-floor room at the Baltimore Marriott Inner Harbor at Camden Yards, saying that he had killed his children and was considering harming himself, said Officer Troy Harris, a city police spokesman.

The children were all under seven years old.

I know, a little heavy for a Monday, but Baltimore's my adopted hometown. Spent four years there, and know this hotel well.

Baltimore's made strides in the last 10 years, but it's still a gritty, crime-ridden town. Even there, however, an incident like this is jarring.

You cannot resist clicking on this story

I tried, really tried, and failed ...

Teens with Tasers battle at mall

From Local6.com out of Orlando:

A massive fight between a group of teens wielding cinder blocks, bats and using Taser guns damaged several cars at a popular mall early Friday, according to police.

Orlando police said a fight involving at least 11 teens broke out at a skate park in the Festival Bay Mall.

Several teens jumped into the fight and it spilled into a parking lot, officers said.

You can watch the video, too.

Umm...Your backpack is on fire

In New York, they take things like this VERY seriously.

From Newsday:

NEW YORK - A college student says he's sorry for causing a scare when his science project short-circuited and started smoking in his backpack on a subway train in Brooklyn.

Turns out, there was nothing more than a model elevator, but those sitting next to Gregory Kats  weren't eager to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Passengers dashed for the exits.

Kats was not arrested.

Jail mail: cards designed for those doing time

Looking for the perfect birthday or holiday greeting for someone behind bars?

Los Angeles-based Three Squares Greetings offers just the thing.

From a Christmas card: "You had the choice to be ‘naughty or nice.' And you chose ... Oh well, now you have to do your time."

Or for that special someone on Valentine's Day: "If it weren’t for those walls, I’d give you lots of hugs and kisses."

Lawyer Terrye L. Cheathem, the company's founder, was looking for a card to send her brother-in-law during a 2000 prison stint.

"There weren't any cards on the shelf that said anything like, `Hey, you must make better choices,"' she told the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin.

So she found a solution.

Man sees mouse...calls police

I'm certainly not a fan of mice, but it seems like this German man took things a little too far.

The man -- only in his boxers and slippers -- ran from his house into the snow and called police.

All to report a rodent in his living room.   

"He said there was nothing he was more afraid of," police in Goettingen said in a statement, according to Reuters.

The mouse made a clean escape.

93-year-old charged in sex sting

'Nuff said.

Shake, rattle and roll

Things that get packed: Loaded guns, scissors and box cutters.

Add to that list: poisonous snakes.

From the Washington Post ...

Unpacking a duffel bag in your Arlington County home seems pretty harmless. But that's what Andrew Bacas was doing yesterday when a rattlesnake bit him.

Bacas, the varsity boys' crew coach at Yorktown High School, had just returned home from a spring break conditioning trip to South Carolina with his team. He was unpacking his bag about 9:30 a.m. yesterday, after driving home Saturday, when he felt a sharp pain on his right hand.

"This little monster got into his gear somehow," Esther Bacas, the coach's mother, said of the 10-inch-long snake.

Bacas was treated at a nearby hospital and is expected to be fine.

In case you're wondering, here's how to treat a snake bite. And no, biting into the wound and spitting out the venom is not recommended.

Off to Tallahassee

Hi. You may remember me as the reporter who recently wrote on this blog that I was filling in on our courthouse beat for two weeks.

Well, I'm back from that assignment, but now I'm off again. This time, to Tallahassee, where I'm pitching in on our coverage of the legislative session for a few weeks.

So, I leave things in the able hands of Jennifer and Adam, who love a good crime story like some people love Oreos.   

Meanwhile, if you get a hankerin' for politics, check out our up-to-the-minute coverage on Naked Politics.

Smoking green crack for St. Pat

Nothing says "Top o' the morning!" like a hit of crack.

Cops in Ohio seized several baggies of green-colored rock cocaine last week (left), an apparent nod to St. Patrick's Day.

The Smoking Gun has the rest of the emerald scoop.

Couple caught having sex in church

A pair of undies and an errant bra tipped deputies off that something wasn't right inside a church in Sanderson, Fla.

Deputies responding to a call of a suspicious person outside the Mount Zion Primitive Baptist Church found Crystal Rowland, 24, behind the altar.

They also found Matthew Pearce, 28, partially clothed.

"I don't know what has become of the people [that] somebody would just do something like that in a church," Deacon Lonzie Altman said in a story on the website for Tampa Bay's 10 News.

Police said Rowland's explanation for why they picked the holy spot -- she sought a ‘‘spiritual and sexual experience."

Read the full story here.

Robbers call cab, get cops

Two Canadian teens made a serious miscalculation when they robbed a convenience store last week.

The pair forgot to arrange for a getaway ride, relying instead on a taxi cab.

Unfortunately for the teens, police quickly got word the of the robbery and the call to the cab company.

The taxi came for pick up with two cops inside.

"Obviously not having a getaway vehicle or anything like that and calling a cab is generally not a sign of your most sophisticated criminal," Detective Sergeant Kevin Maher of the Halton Regional Police Service told Reuters.

Read the story here.

Cops chase doughnut delivery

Officers chased after a doughnut delivery van at speeds of up to 100 miles per hour - and they weren't looking for a morning fix.

A driver was making deliveries in Rock Island, Ill. when a man stole the van, which had been left running.

A deputy spotted the Donut Delite van, which had no markings on the outside giving away the sweet treats.

At the end of the chase, alleged robber Frank Alvarado, got arrested.

The officers got a sweeter deal -- the stolen confections.

The Associated Press has the story.

Man gets pulled over, blames it on an Oreo

Add this one to the list of excuses that probably won't get you out of a speeding ticket: a dropped Oreo.

One New York man tried to explain his way out of a speeding ticket last fall by blaming the cookie, saying it dropped from his fingers as he was dunking it into a cup of milk.

Justin Vonkummer, 28, claimed he lost control as he tried to get the cookie from the cup, according to this story on Yahoo.

A trooper pulled him over for speeding in a small Connecticut town. Vonkummer has been charged with speeding and driving under a suspended license.

Talk about Bridezilla

For most brides, the day before the wedding is reserved for picking up the cake, trying on the gown on last time and entertaining guests at a rehearsal dinner.

Not so for Dianne J. Carnes, of Scottsbluff, Neb.

Instead, she spent Monday appearing in court for a charge of felony driving under suspension. After a jury found Carnes guilty, she threatened a female juror, according to Scotts Bluff County Sheriff's deputies.

And so, at the time she was set to tie the knot, Carnes was behind bars.

Read the Star Herald's whole story.

Man reports pot theft, gets busted

In the immortal words of Gutter, "Umm...I didn't exhale?!!?!"

From the Associated Press:

SYDNEY, Australia -- An Australian man's complaint of an break-in at his home went to pot Friday when police arrested him for growing marijuana.

The 35-year-old man in the central Australian city of Adelaide called police to report that six men had broken into his house through a window and stolen parts of his cannabis plants, South Australia Police said.

Boyfriend charged in toilet case

Update today in the case of woman who had to be rescued after spending two years on her toilet:

Her boyfriend, Kory McFarren, 37, was charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult in Ness County, Kan. According to Kansas law, this charge is either a misdemeanor or felony, depending on the severity. A dependent adult is someone over 18 who is "unable to protect their own interest."

The arrest comes after paramedics had to rush McFarren's girlfriend to the hospital with the toilet seat melded to her body. She had been unwilling to leave the bathroom for two years. McFarren said he brought her food every day and pleaded with her to come out, but she kept promising she would do it "tomorrow."

Last week, McFarren told the AP: "The only thing I am guilty of is I didn't get her help sooner."

O.J. to vote for Hillary?

In an interview with Nightline following his sweeping speech on race in America this week, Barack Obama shared his thoughts about O.J. Simpson's 1995 murder trial:

"I'm somebody who was pretty clear that O.J. was guilty," Obama said (full transcript here).

Wow. That's kind of a bombshell, no?

Obama had mentioned the murder trial briefly in his speech as an example of how Americans "tackle race only as spectacle." Later, when the Nightline interviewer asked him to expound about how the Trial of the Century divided many whites and blacks, Obama said:

"...that reaction had more to do with a sense that somehow the criminal justice system historically had been biased so profoundly that a defeat of that justice system was somehow a victory."

No word yet from the Simpson camp about whether this affects his voting plan. Then again, when the election rolls around in November, Simpson's Las Vegas armed robbery trial will be over, and depending on its outcome, Simpson may not be allowed to vote at all.

Guy gets poked during lap dance

Lap dances are supposed to be fun, right?

Not for Stephen Chang, who claims an exotic dancer poked him in the eye with the heel of her stripper shoe during a private dance. 

In a lawsuit filed this week, Chang says the stripper "suddenly swung around," booting him in the eye. The alleged incident happened in November at the Hot Lap Dance Club in New York (clever name).

The New York Daily News has more.

Gun stolen from chief's car

Thieves broke into a locked Dodge Durango in the driveway of an Ormond Beach home over the weekend, stealing a semi-automatic handgun, its holster and a bulletproof vest.

And now every cop in the city is on the lookout for the booty, because it belongs to Police Chief Michael Longfellow.

The break-in happened right outside the chief's home. He didn't break police policy by leaving his city-issued gun inside his city-issued vehicle, but Longfellow said he regretted the decision not to bring the weapon into his home like he usually does.

Naked man goes on rampage

Ah yes, the Susquehanna Valley, home to two Crime Sceners -- yours truly and Evan Benn.

Residents of Central Pennsylvania are a little quirkier than most, but god, are they entertaining.

Case in point: This guy.

According to the Lancaster Intelligencer -- which was once foolish enough to pay me to write:

A Willow Street supermarket today released footage of a naked man who ran amok inside the store Friday evening, doing about $40,000 in damage.

The man had earlier caused about $3,000 damage at Willow Valley Resort, across the Willow Street Pike.

Police identified the man as Nicholas Hadzick, 28, of Freeland, Luzerne County.

Want to see the video? I know you do ...

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Don't binge drink in Dublin.

Seriously.

From Bloomberg:

St. Patrick's Day Binge Spurs Crackdown on Dublin's Drinkers

Something tells me this is a lost cause.

Ireland is the binge-drinking capital of Europe, according to the story.

Key West sexcapade

A random hookup at Key West's popular Bull and Whistle bar on Saturday turned into something very scary for a 32-year-old man.

Police -- called to an abandoned house by a suspicious neighbor -- found the victim dressed in women's underwear, bound with pantyhose and gagged with a foam ball. Also strewn about the house: a blue vibrator, a bra, two tennis balls, a flashlight and a Busch beer can with holes poked in it to smoke drugs.

The victim told police he was riding his bike when a stranger approached him outside the Bull and Whistle and asked if he wanted to "fool around." The pair went to the abandoned house, but after a few minutes, the victim said he felt uncomfortable. 

When he tried to leave, his assailant overpowered him and tied him to a chair with the pantyhose, twisting it like rope. Luckily, a neighbor saw the two go into the house and called police, who arrived about 30 minutes after the man was tied up.

Police are now hunting for the bad guy, who faces a charge of false imprisonment. The ever-vigilent Smoking Gun has the police report.

A gold rush

Gold hit $1,000 Thursday, and people are now searching the deep recesses of their own mouths for a quick buck.

It got me thinking...What are the best gold heists of all time?

A simple Google search brings one to the Great Gold Robbery of 1855, when English train employees swapped lead for what would now be $18 million worth of bouillon.

Then there's the 1983 heist in London's Heathrow Airport, in which an armed gang took 6,800 gold bars from the Brinks Mat warehouse.

For more gold robberies, including why the state of West Virginia was formed, check out this site.

Of course, when there is a big robbery, here comes Underdog to save the day.

Woman spends two years on the pot

A man who let his girlfriend sit on the toilet for more than two years -- so long that she got stuck to the seat -- may be charged for mistreatment of a dependent adult, the Associated Press reported.

Sheriff Bryan Whipple asked the state attorney in Ness County, Kansas, to charge Kory McFarren, who said his girlfriend, Pam Babcock, 35, stayed on the toilet because she had a phobia about leaving the bathroom.

"It just kind of happened one day," McFarren told the Associated Press. "She went in and had been in there a little while. The next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay -- like it was a safe place for her."

He said he brought her food, water and clothes and that she moved around in the bathroom.

McFarren called police at the end of February, concerned because she seemed disoriented.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple, the sheriff, told the Associated Press. "It is hard to imagine. . . . I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

Read the full story at CNN.

How dumb can you be?

There's dumb, and then there's brazen. These kids have a little from Column A, a little from Column B.

A 12-year-old and a 14-year-old tried to rob a police station in Port St. Lucie on Wednesday. A police station.

They walked up to the infomation booth, one pretended he had a gun in his jacket pocket, and they demanded money.

A police aide ran for backup, and within seconds half a dozen officers flooded the lobby and arrested the boys. The kids -- one of whom was already on probation -- laughed as the cops hauled them away in cuffs, according to the Palm Beach Post.

Maybe they were REALLY nice pants

I'm still scratching my head at this caper chronicled by Herald guerrilla photographer Tim Chapman.

Some dude shot another dude in Miami on Wednesday (which is an almost everyday occurrence), and then the victim's friends took his pants and ran away (not an everyday occurrence)!

Paramedics found the man bleeding in the street in his undies and a shirt. Police are trying to figure out why the guy's buddies ran off with his pantalones.

Now for something completely different

Tired already of Hookergate? (I'm not even close to being tired of it, but I digress...)

Here's a completely different take on mouth-to-mouth.

From the News-Star in Monroe, La.:

A Ouachita Parish firefighter went above and beyond the call of duty on Friday, performing CPR on a dog and ultimately saving its life.

The firefighter's nickname? 'Odie.' Wasn't that the dog from Garfield?

What a crummy way to get busted

Terrence Middleton was caught cookie-handed after robbing some Chinese restaurants last week.

His fortune might have read: You will be a lousy thief.

OK, and now I've exhausted all my puns on this story.

Police in Oklahoma responded to two back-to-back Chinese restaurant robberies last week and soon found Middleton, 30, walking down the street with coins falling out of his pockets. When police searched him, they found fortune cookies in his pockets - the same kind served at one of the restaurants he allegedly hit.

The total fortune of his swipes: $20 in change, and fortune cookies.

Thanks to the readers over at Dave Barry's Blog for pointing out this story.

Newsflash: Cops speed too

...But they don't pay the fine, at least in Maryland.

This comes from my second-favorite newspaper, the Washington Post.

Among the thousands of drivers who have been issued $40 fines after being nabbed by Montgomery County's new speed cameras are scores of county police officers. The difference is, many of the officers are refusing to pay.

The officers are following the advice of their union, which says the citations are issued not to the driver but to the vehicle's owner -- in this case, the county.

Incidentally, I got busted speeding in D.C. once by one of those cameras. I was going 40 in a 25. No points on my license, but it did cost me a lot more than $40.

Man caught in compromising position - with lamppost

The Telegraph brings us an odd story from England, where a 32-year-old man was arrested for "simulating a sex act'' with a lamppost.

The paper reports the February incident occured in front of children in Wiltshire, in the southwest of England.

The man was arrested on suspicion of outraging public decency before being released and then reinterviewed by police.

And he's not the only one.

Last week in London, a contractor working at a hospital was "caught on his knees'' with a Henry Hoover vacuum cleaner.

A security guard found the man, who -- get this -- claims he was cleaning his underwear.

Golf pro charged after shot kills hawk

Golf Pro Tripp Isenhour (left) teed up at an Orange County golf course to host his video series "Shoot like a pro."

But officials say a round of golf wasn't the only thing he shot.

When the noises of a red-shouldered hawk angered Isenhour, he began hitting golf balls at the federally protected bird, according to the charging documents posted on The Smoking Gun.

Isenhour, filming at the Grand Cypress Golf Course in December, teed off several times before one of his golf balls hit the hawk, knocking it from a tree.

The hawk died.

Apparently Isenhour wasn't that confident in his aim, remarking that he didn't think he would hit it, the documents said.

Charges were filed Wednesday against Isenhour, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, for cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird.

Read the charging documents at The Smoking Gun.

Oklahoma 4-year-old drunk in class? (UPDATE)

Here's one thing you don't expect to smell on a 4-year-old's breath: alcohol.

But Oklahoma authorities are investigating just that.

Paramedics were called to an Oklahoma City elementary school on Wednesday after teachers thought the girl was acting strangely and thought they smelled alcohol, reports KOCO 5 Oklahoma City.

Deputy Chief Steve Jagosh told the station the girl likely didn't consume booze on the grounds of Andrew Johnson Elementary School.

"We believe it happened before she got to school today," Jagosh told the station.

The station reports the girl is in good condition and officials are investigating how she got alcohol.

Police said the girl will be placed with a child welfare agency.

UPDATE: KOCO reports police arrested the girl's mother, Christina Aaron, 34, who faces charges of child neglect.

Aaron apparently left an open beer can near her 4-year-old daughter, and when she went to sleep the youngster had a sip.

Police said she knew the girl had some of the beer and sent her to pre-K anyway, after a reprimand.

"We have reason to believe that the child has drank beer in the past," police spokesman Steve Jagosh told the station.

Formal charges have not been filed in the case, the station reported.

BSO, FHP promote 'Move Over' law

Law enforcement officials have a message for Broward drivers:

Move over.

BSO and FHP are joining forces on a new press push to educate the public about Florida's 'Move Over' law, which mandates drivers give the right of way to emergency vehicles.

Sheriff Al Lamberti even filmed a public service announcement:

According to the BSO website, there were over 200 crashes involving police vehicles stopped on roadways in 2007, resulting in nearly 60 injuries.

The two agencies planned a Thursday afternoon press conference, showing mangled police cruisers and introducing cops injured on the roads.

Setting the record straight

We at the Herald like to get things right.

Apparently, Wendy's corporate feels the same way.

We got a note from Dave Thomas' gang that Rafael ''Ray'' Vazquez actually did originially receive a promotional toy the day he was shot in the back. Turns out, Vazquez wanted to trade his child's toy in for another one, which is why he returned to the restaurant.

Hope this clears it up.

Off to court

I'm covering Miami-Dade courts this week and next while our beat reporter, Susannah Nesmith, fills in on the Metro editing desk.

Expect light blogging from me for the next several days, but I'm sure my fearless colleagues Adam and Jen will keep you saturated with crime news.

Meanwhile, here are a few South Florida court-related blogs to check out in my absence: JAABlog and the Justice Building Blog.

Wendy's shooting roundup

Sorry for the radio silence lately, but I've been off covering the West Palm Beach shooting spree for the last couple of days.

The latest from, um, me and other far more qualified reporters can be found here.

To make a long story short, the shooter has a wild personal history, but we're still no closer to knowing why he unloaded a clip Monday.

David Smiley caught up with the Plantation man authorities are hailing a hero.

Now from the competition...

The Palm Beach Post owns this story, as it should.

In Wednesday's paper, it has an interview with Alburn Blake's former girlfriend and a profile of the firefighter killed while waiting in line.

The Sun-Sentinel's take is here.

And Miami Herald news partner CBS 4 has the 911 tapes.

Another shark tale

Does Jim Abernethy take children out on cageless, chum-baited shark dives? Evidence points that way. An underwater photographer that uses the handle “debersole” posted the following note on a diving message board back on Sept. 12:

I agree that the tigers are impressive, but I've been to Tiger Beach with my wife and kids (ages 11 and 15 at the time) and did not feel threatened.

My daughter and I even did a night tiger shark dive which was very cool.

Yes, you need to show them respect but Jim does a great job at tiger beach. The summer trips are often shark/dolphin and some of those trips include a day or two at Tiger Beach while others do not. I agree -- know what you are comfortable with and know what you are signing up for.

Granted, a message board post is far from conclusive, but it certainly raises fresh questions about the dive operator who recently had a Austrian tourist killed by a shark during a trip to the Bahamas.

Thanks to reader J.S. for pointing this out.