Crime Scene

Man charges a buck to pet stolen bear cub

John Chadwick Montgomery apparently broke into a South Carolina animal refuge over the weekend and tried to steal Petey, a capuchin monkey.

Petey's monkey friend Lizzy didn't take too kindly to the intrusion, biting Montgomery.
That's when authorities say Montgomery changed his mind, using sticky buns to lure a 60-pound black bear cub to his waiting car, Upstate South Carolina reported.

He told people he took the cub - Newell (left) - to a Flying J truck stop and charged people $1 to pet it, police said.

The bear cub was found unharmed and returned to the park.

"I think he did it because he just wanted some money,'' said David Meeks, the director of Hollywild Animal Park. "It almost makes me think he wasn't thinking.''

Montgomery was arrested on a charge of third degree burglary and grand larceny.

Two other people are accused of helping him in the theft.

Cops in trouble after kicking 'cuffed man

A West Palm Beach officer resigned and two others were placed on administrative leave after a dashboard camera showed them kicking and punching a handcuffed man.

The Palm Beach Post has the story and great video that shows rookie officer Kurt Graham and officer Louis Schwartz kicking Pablo Gilberto Valenzuela outside a CVS.

Valenzuela (left) had run out of the drugstore's emergency exit upon seeing the officers walk in, and he tried to spritz them with pepper spray when they chased him, according to police. After they caught up and cuffed him, the officers kicked Valenzuela in the face (they said he was trying to bite their legs).

A third officer, Jason Zangara, punched a still-cuffed Valenzuela in the face (he said Valenzuela tried to spit on him).

Graham resigned, and Schwartz and Zangara are on administrative leave, the Post reports.

Police webmaster fired for porn-surfing

The South Florida Times' Elgin Jones has a scoop this morning about the Fort Lauderdale Police webmaster fired for visiting porn websites on his work computer.

Steven Rocky Loiacono (left), 42, of Coral Springs was hired in 2001 and had been in charge of the police department's website and IT duties, pulling in about $91,000 a year.

The chief put Loiacono on paid suspension July 14 and said he will be officially terminated on Monday. An investigation revealed Loiacono spent a "significant" amount of time surfing hardcore sex sites during work hours, and he took steps to try to hide his Internet tracks, according to the Times.

There was no criminal activity involved, but the actions violated the police department's work policies.

Cross-dressing escapees and decapitated goats

We're so smug down here about our "only in Miami" crimes. Puh-leeze. Northwest Florida is putting us to shame today.

Example 1: While being extradited from Texas to Georgia on an identity theft charge, a cross-dressing man named Eugene Smith (left) and his police escort took a bathroom break at Brown's Grocery in Holt, Fla.

There, Smith attacked the deputy, shot pepper spray into his eyes and took off in the patrol car while the deputy fired a bullet through the windshield. Smith unlocked his leg shackles and got away -- for a day. He was arrested when motorists reported a suspicious woman hitchhiking in the area.

Smith pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 25 years in prison, the Northwest Florida Daily News reports.

Example 2: Also from the NWFDN: A newspaper carrier found two decapitated goats on the streets of Fort Walton Beach on Wednesday, bringing THE TOTAL NUMBER OF MUTILATED GOATS TO NINE in recent days. Whoa.

Investigators say they have reason to believe at least eight of the nine goat killings were done by the same person or group, and they have mentioned possible ties to an Afro-Caribbean religion called Palo Mayombe.

Several of the decapitated heads contained cut leaves and twigs, which are being analyzed for evidence that could lead to the goat-killers.

Man admits murder, gets break from jail food

Jail food doesn’t exactly have the best reputation, but this seems a little extreme.
Tremayne Durham, 33, pleaded guilty to a 2006 murder in exchange for buckets of fried chicken and lasagna and pizza.
After Durham said he’d enter the plea, the judge agreed to a spread of fried chicken from KFC and Popeye’s, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, carrot cake and ice cream, the AP reports.
More was to come after the sentencing – calzones, lasagna, pizza and ice cream.
Along with the food, Durham threw in a quickie wedding (not part of the deal).
The crime was food related, as well. 
Durham ordered a truck from an Oregon company to sell ice cream.
Then Durham decided the ice cream business wasn’t for him, and asked for a refund, but the company declined. He went to Oregon in search of the owner, but instead killed Adam Calbreath, a former employee.

Computer love...

Miami-Dade’s cop shop is making a splash in the tech world.

Cmdr. June Randall, a civilian who oversees MDPD’s Information Technology bureau, has been elected first vice president of the Government Management Information Sciences association.

GMIS is a national organization that meets and (of course) e-mails to share the best ways to run IT departments within 500-plus government agencies.

Randall, head of MDPD’s IT bureau since September 2007, is slated to become president of GMIS next year. The rest of the board hails from government such as Sparks, Nev., Mobile, Ala., and Salt Lake County, Ala.

Under Randall, a longtime county IT specialist, Miami-Dade police has added wireless hot spots for detectives to use their laptops, and will be soon upgrading the police e-mail system.

“For me, it’s been an opportunity to network with my peers, to be able to understand the solutions they are applying for their organizations,” said Randall, 53.

Man snaps over sauceless Subway sub

Personally, I'm a Publix sub man, but in a pinch, a Subway sandwich hits the spot.

Of course, they always make mine to specification.

Not so much for Reginald Peterson, a 42-year-old Jacksonville man.

Apparently, his spicy Italian lacked the appropriate sauce, so he appealed to a higher power.

No, not Jared.

The cops.

Peterson called 911 -- twice -- to report the grave injustice.

Of course, that's not the proper use of the emergency number, and cops arrested him.

As for his spicy Italian? Ended up in the trash can.

Insert vulgar 'taking a dump' joke here

Great stuff to start the week out of the Pacific Northwest.

In a little town called Snohomish, Wash., nature called a dump truck driver hauling 49 tons of dirt Friday morning.

He should have let the call go to voicemail.

The 27-year-old, who was not identified in a HeraldNet.com story, stopped to take a leak along U.S. 2.

Apparently unfamiliar with the terrain, he pulled off onto the shoulder -- a slick spot. The truck slipped down the embankment and capsized, dumping the dirt into the river and backing up traffic for hours.

In case you were wondering, cops allowed the driver to empty his tank behind the truck.

'I will not vandalize other people's property'

Man, I'm lovin' this story from New Smyrna Beach this morning:

Two preteen girls vandalized the home of 87-year-old S. Truett Cathy (below left), he being the founder of Chick-fil-A, causing $30,000 worth of damage.

In an agreement Cathy worked out with the girls' parents, they won't be criminally charged if they complete the following:

-No TV or video games for an undisclosed period.

-Read a book.

-Write "I will not vandalize other people's property" 1,000 times.

Love that last part. How Simpsonian of you, Cathy.