Crime Scene

Shoplifter's pants overfloweth

If the Kmart security guard didn't notice Tina Yeakey was stealing from his store, he should have been fired.

But, the astute guard detained Yeakey on suspicion of shoplifting and called the cops.

Inside her purse, Yeakey had stashed two dental kits, a bottle of cologne, a toy car, 12 packs of Ponds facial strips, a bottle of antifungal cream, two fingernail kits and two bottles of foundation.

But that's not all, according to the Times of Northwest Indiana. When cops said they'd have to pat her down, Yeakey unbuttoned her pants. Stuffed inside: 10 DVDs, a PlayStation game, a pair of tube socks, two bras, two pairs of panties with the word "pouty" written on them, three pairs of boys underwear and two rings. 

Yeakey is being charged with felony theft.

*Thanks to C for the tip.

Shark bite ain't no thang for surfer

Rescuers said the shark bite David Logan suffered while surfing off New Smyrna Beach this weekend wasn't a biggie.

"This was the weakest shark bite I've ever seen in my life," a beach patrol captain told the Orlando Sentinel.

Call me crazy, but I think even a shark nibble would be enough to make me soil my surfboard.

So more power to Logan, 44, of Jupiter, who had the cojones to get right back on his board and paddle out to the waves again right after paramedics tended to his wound.

Logan's attack marked a record-breaking 23rd shark bite this year off Volusia County.

Cops win Man-vs.-Truck showdown

Let it not be said that jaywalking isn't taken seriously in Boise.

According to the Idaho Statesman, 62-year-old Ebrahim Balah stepped in front of an oncoming truck and was consequently drilled.

Balah survived the impact, and for his troubles, got a nice note from the city: a citation for jaywalking.

No word of what hurt more.

P.S. Because it's Friday.

Fart gets man charged

I generally avoid blogging about crimes involving bodily functions...but this one was too good to pass up.

Cops in West Virginia pulled over Jose Cruz (left), 34, for driving with his cars headlights off and then suspected he had been drinking.

The officers brought him to police headquarters in West Charleston.

That's when he decided to let one rip, according to the arrest documents on The Smoking Gun.

While being fingerprinted, Cruz "lifted his leg and passed gas loudly'' on the officer, the report said. "The defendant then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto [the officer]. The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature...''

For the offensive odor, he was charged with battery on a police officer, along with the DUI and other charges.

Cruz apparently told The Smoking Gun "that while he 'farted multiple times,' it 'wasn't directly in [the cop's] face.'"

Public Enemy No. 1: The Phanatic

Huge Phillies fan here. I'm on pins and needles, hoping they can hold on for just their second postseason appearance since 1993.

But I'm a firm believer in karma, and when your mascot's props are confused with explosives, that's a bad sign.

Before the Phillies' game against the Braves Wednesday night, the bomb squad had to detonate three suspicious packages at the stadium.

Turns out. they were the hot dogs the Phanatic fires into the crowd.

The Phillies ended up losing the game, 10-4. Coincidence? I think not...

Dad buys brew for toddler son

Plenty of fathers bond with their sons over beer.

But most wait until the kids are out of preschool.

Not so for one man at a Wisconsin fair - the man ordered a beer for himself and one for his 4-year-old son.

His 2-year-old son got a sip as well.

The woman at the beer tent apparently thought it was a joke, according to the Associated Press story.

The father became belligerent when police approached him. The man apparently told the officer it is legal for minors to drink in Wisconsin if they have a parent with them.

The man was cited for disorderly conduct.

Bro, were we bad campers?

A Tennessee jail became the temporary off-campus Sigma Chi house over the weekend as 57 members of the Vanderbilt U. fraternity were arrested at a campground while celebrating a football victory.

The campground manager called the cops after the frat boys shot fireworks into the air and refused to settle down for the night.

The kids were charged with disorderly conduct, underage drinking and the like, but really, you gotta go to The Smoking Gun to look at the mugshots. Some of the kids are smirking, some are serious-looking. But they all look remarkably similar -- like, did they have to pass a look-alike test to get a bid? 

Penny for your thoughts, two for your body

The johns of Bonita Springs, Fla., have vastly different ideas of how much sex should cost.

On the high end, one guy offered an undercover cop $300 for intercourse during a recent prostitution sting.

On the low end, Fausino Hernandez-Diaz dug deep into his pockets and offered -- wait for it -- 2 cents for some lovin', according to police.

Gas prices hurt drug dealers, too

Strike one against Anthony Salinas was selling cocaine to undercover officers.

Strike two was charging extra to recoup gas money for dropping off the drugs.

Indiana police say they set up two buys with Salinas, where he was to drop off a quarter-ounce of coke in parking lots at Starbucks and Bass Pro Shops. Salinas charged $240 -- $215 for the drugs and $25 for gas money. (The Smoking Gun has the charging docs.)

Darn gas prices make times tough for everybody. But with two felony drug charges against him, Salinas may be going somewhere where he won't have to drive for a while.

Another naked play for web traffic

Last week: Nude jaywalking.

This week: Bare-chested bartending.

Yes, we can't get enough naked news here at Crime Scene.

The latest comes from Delhi, Ill., where 33-year-old Janet Brannon was allegedly serving Cabin Tavern drinkers nude.

She's been charged with misdemeanor public indecency and freed on $8,000 bond.