A (kinky) 73-year-old New York man had to have a piece of steel pipe surgically removed from his penis after an erotic session went awry.
The man's penis swelled up and turned purple, forcing him to the hospital, and forcing the perplexed hospital staff to call in reinforcements, according to the Times Herald-Record. They came in the form of firefighters armed with something called a pneumatic saw, alternately called "the wizzer" (seriously, it's in the article).
It took more than 90 minutes to chip away at the inch-long, quarter-inch-thick piece of steel. The man remained calmly nervous as the wizzer closed in on him, reportedly telling the firefighter, "Just don't cut it off."
No details from authorities on how the pipe got stuck, but they confirmed it happened during some sort of sexual encounter.
*Thanks to Larry for the -- pun alert -- tip.