Man defends castle with fox pee

Fox3 Meddling teenagers, take note: Scott Wagar in Willmar, Minn., doesn't mess around.

Wagar, apparently fed up that a bunch of kids kept toilet-papering his house under the cover of darkness, decided to strike back.

He bought himself some night-vision goggles, filled a squirt gun with fox urine (!!! go ahead, read it again) and waited for his prey.

Soon, he spotted 10 to 15 kids running toward his home. He yelled at 'em, cursed at 'em, then opened fire with a steady stream of fox pee.

But who's laughing now? Cops arrested Wagar and charged him with assault.

*Thanks to Crime Scenester Jen for the tip.

'Tis the season to protect Jesus

18235027_240x180 Holy cow, there's a lot of crime news out there with religious twists:

Example 1: Someone stole two bags of cash from a church in Washington, D.C., and the Rev. Bill Hegedusich darted out of the 11 a.m. Mass to chase the crook. The priest recovered one bag with about $60 inside, but the thief got away. 

Example 2: Churches are keeping a close eye on their Baby Jesus and Virgin Mary figurines after a rash of Nativity-scene thefts last holiday season. Some are even installing expensive GPS devices and hidden cameras to deter pranksters. 

Example 3: A church vs. state battle is playing out in Oakland Park, where city officials want a Catholic mission to take down a concrete Jesus statue (left) they claim is hindering passing motorists.

*Thanks to Andrea for the tip

Crime scenes at Chuck E. Cheese

Obcu218_chuck_d_20081208181637 Did you know Chuck E. Cheeses can be more dangerous than a biker bar that's run out of Jack?

The Wall Street Journal took a good, hard look at crime reports in Wisconsin and across the country and found that police are being called with increasing frequency to the ball pits and birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese.

Experts blame it on something called "mama-bear instinct," where parents tend to get hyper-protective of their kids, along with the sometimes lethal combo of alcohol and Skee-ball.

The article mentions a recent incident at a CEC outside Harrisburg, Pa., where a woman told a boy to "stop hogging" an arcade game and took his tokens out of his hands. The boy's mother allegedly grabbed this woman by the throat and slammed her against the game machine.

I used the Herald's Data Sleuth to see if Miami-Dade's Chuck E. Cheeses have been the sites of recent police activity, but I couldn't find much. Perhaps South Floridians are just better behaved than the rest of the country.

Nah.

*Thanks to Jeremy for the tip.      

Maybe he was fighting fire with ice

Fire A Leon County fire chief has been arrested after being caught with two ice-makers that he allegedly confessed to stealing.

Brian McEckron (left), chief of the Lake Jackson Volunteer FD, will be fired from his post, officials said to the Tallahassee Democrat.

Police say McEckron stole a $1,500 ice-maker from a city water facility and was busted when a maintenance worker saw the machine stashed under a tarp on McEckron's property. The fire chief then confessed to stealing another ice-maker valued at $300, police said.

It beats me as to what a fire chief would be doing with two industrial-grade ice machines. Any guesses?

Bitten jogger smart as a fox

Redfoxsleeping This story is making its way around the Internets today, and for good reason:

An Arizona woman ran one mile with a rabid fox's teeth locked into her arm.

The fox attacked the woman while she was out on a jog near Prescott. But the woman kept her wits about her -- she decided it'd be best to keep the fox around so it could be tested for rabies. So she grabbed it by the neck and ran with it to her car, parked a mile away, while the fox was still biting her arm.

She pried the fox off her arm and tossed it in the trunk of her car. She drove herself to the hospital, and the fox then bit an animal-control officer who tried to capture it.

Turns out, the fox did have rabies. Both the jogger and the animal-control officer are undergoing treatment, police said. 

'Just don't cut it off'

A (kinky) 73-year-old New York man had to have a piece of steel pipe surgically removed from his penis after an erotic session went awry.

The man's penis swelled up and turned purple, forcing him to the hospital, and forcing the perplexed hospital staff to call in reinforcements, according to the Times Herald-Record. They came in the form of firefighters armed with something called a pneumatic saw, alternately called "the wizzer" (seriously, it's in the article).

It took more than 90 minutes to chip away at the inch-long, quarter-inch-thick piece of steel. The man remained calmly nervous as the wizzer closed in on him, reportedly telling the firefighter, "Just don't cut it off."

No details from authorities on how the pipe got stuck, but they confirmed it happened during some sort of sexual encounter. 

*Thanks to Larry for the -- pun alert -- tip.

Beauty queen busted after bailing on bill (UPDATED)

0_61_102108_lindseyevans Miss Teen Louisiana Lindsey Evans managed a smile in her mugshot this weekend (top left), despite getting busted in what has to be one of the dumbest crimes in recent memory:

Evans, 18, and some friends skipped out on a $46 tab at a Bossier City, La., restaurant over the weekend, Fox reports. Apparently, beauty queens don't get a stipend for food.

Here's where the intelligence really breaks down: 1. Smartypants Evans left her purse at the restaurant. 2. She had weed in her purse. 3. She went back to the restaurant to retrieve the purse. Cops were waiting for her and her buddies.

081022evans2hmed730awidec Her reign ends in November. Pageant officials haven't said whether they will strip Evans of her crown because of her arrest.

*UPDATE: Evans has been de-crowned, 10 days shy of completing her duties.

"Lindsey Evans has been part of an organization that believes in opportunities when earned and consequences when warranted," Paula Miles, president of pageant sponsor RPM, said. "Due to recent circumstances, Lindsey has been relieved of her duties as Miss Louisiana Teen USA 2008 effective immediately."

Police want YOU...in uniform

Help20wanted From Most Wanted to Help Wanted:

They say a down economy leads to more crime. Perhaps that's why the Hollywood Police Department is looking to beef up its officer ranks.

During a recent spin down Hollywood Boulevard, a colleague of ours passed a flashing police sign -- you know, the ones that usually remind you to slow down or buckle up -- advertising openings in the department.

The HPD salary range is $42,000-$66,000 for officers, plus an array of benefits. Interested? Call 954-967-4372.

Shoplifter stuffs pants with frozen shrimp

Seafood_mix No doubt, times are tough.

We've told you about drug dealers upping the price of their wares to make up for rising gas costs.

We've told you about a shoplifter who basically tried to put an entire Kmart down her pants.

And now: A Bradenton man busted after stuffing bags of frozen shrimp in his pantaloons. An undercover detective tackled Joseph Young, 32, when he tried to dart out of the supermarket with the crustaceans. Young's being held on $2,600 bond.

Dead worker found in restaurant

11342137p1 An employee of Lucca's restaurant in Chicago was found dead in the Italian eatery's basement. His hands were tied, police said.

Few details were reported in this Chicago Tribune article, which says the man has not been identified and no arrests have been made. It was also unclear how he died, but police said the victim suffered trauma.

Final thought: A neighbor told the Trib he thought Lucca's kitchen was in the basement, where the body was found.

 
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