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Burress not getting his wish with Dolphins

Before he wrote his buzz column that included this interesting tidbit about Plaxico Burress wanting to join the Dolphins, colleague Barry Jackson called and asked if I knew whether the Dolphins would consider adding Burress as a way of improving their receiver corps.

I told Barry I had no idea because I haven't asked. Well, now I've asked and Burress, a South Florida resident, has two chances of playing for the 2009 Dolphins.

You guessed it: Slim. And none.

The Dolphins are not now and probably will not be interested later in Burress even if he clears the marathon course of legal hurdles he must navigate before getting back in the game. Yes, Burress is a supremely talented receiver who has had a productive career since being drafted eighth overall by the Steelers in 2000.

But come on, does one have to spell out the problems with Burress coming to Miami? There was a long pause and a, "Is this the reason you're calling me," response from one source when I asked about this possibility Tuesday.

Here are the positives and negatives on the issue as the Dolphins see it:

The positives: There are no positives.

The negatives:  Let's start with the easy stuff. Burress is going to be 32 years old in August and exempting everything else, he is in decline. His yards per reception average has dropped since hitting a career high of 19.9 in 2004. It was 16.0 in 2005, 15.7 in 2006, 14.6 in 2007, and 13.0 in 2008. And that's the least of his problems.

He has proven to be injury-prone the past couple of years and rarely, if ever, practiced during the 2007 season even as the Giants were rushing headlong toward a Super Bowl title. As you know, practice is kinda sorta important to Tony Sparano -- just behind breathing.

Then there are the sideshow issues that Burress tows in his wake. The biggest problem he faces is the looming legal issue stemming from his accidental shooting on November 28, 2008. Burress, in his infinite wisdom, carried a Glock pistol in the waistband of his sweatpants into the LQ nightclub in New Yawk. The gun began sliding down his leg and, as he apparently fumbled for it, Burress shot himself in the leg F-Troop style.

(Give me a second to stop laughing after typing that last sentence.) 

Aside from the pain and embarrassment the shooting might have caused Burress, the bigger problem is the ensuing charge of unlawful carrying of a handgun authorities slapped on Burress. The charge carries a 3 1/2 year sentence if Burress is convicted. Burress has pleaded not guilty to the charges but as Mike Florio astutely notes in today's rumor mill at profootballtalk.com, the issue is not just going to poof, disappear, before the start of the 2009 season. And so even if Burress eventually gets off, his chances of contributing to a new team at the start of the season seem remote.

Oh, and there are a myriad other reasons Burress is not on Miami's radar.

Even if you dismiss the shooting because, hey, stuff like that doesn't bother you, there is the March 1, 2009 traffic stop in which Burress was ticketed four times for various things and must still resolve in Broward County court. There is the domestic violence calls in August and September of 2008 that resulted in temporary restraining orders against Burress that were later dismissed by the state.

And then there are the football problems.

Remember that Burress played for Tom Coughlin, a Bill Parcells disciple and friend. Parcells can pick up the phone and ask Coughlin about Burress and get unambiguous answers. And some of those answers would likely come after questions about Burress being chronically late to team meetings, Burress refusing to practice because of an ankle injury the team didn't believe he had, Burress pouting about his contract, and Burress being suspended by the team on Oct 5, 2008 for violating an unspecified team rule.

The Steelers also suspended Burress in 2004 for for failing to show up for a practice. Burress has been fined by the Steelers, Giants and the NFL at various times during his career and estimates on those cumulative fines range from $50,000 to over $200,000.

So the picture is bleak for Burress if he continues to hold out hope for a chance with the Dolphins.

Because it is not happening.


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my intent for using the words " soiled bottom " was for a bottom that's soiled and not to insult the honorable Soiled Bottom

Truth is, Plaxico was just stupid. He should have never had a gun, and was acting completely out of his character. It boils down to the people these young millionaires surround themselves with. It's unfortunate that such stupidity can ruin a career, but that's the price of being a figure of celebrity. I for one believe in second chances, but second chances until second chances start becoming too common. Because of that and the greed that drives any business, these players see themselves returning, regardless of their actions off the field. The league should only employ good role models and anyone who screws should be held accountable and their opportunity to be is the National Football League should be over.

OJ, What say you Bobaloo based on the news he's coming to Broadcast Football

It wouldn't matter if plaxico was a 26 year old jerry rice, miami wouldn't want him because we never sign a "star"name...NEVER, unless it's some boring defensive player, we dont like flashy playmakers here, we have had a dislike for them since duper and clayton, we like B list offensive players..oj mcduffie, ted ginn, because we can always "develop" them, yeah, i'm still waiting 20 years later....another ho hum, 14 points and a cloud of defensive dust season.

The quality of this blog would go up substantially if idiots like Bunglito weren't always spewing non-sense on this forum.

Jersey mike. You sound like the cuban menace or roy the pathetic king of idiot's and the king of nonsense . take a look in the mirror.

what job do you picture these people doing in a perfect setting:

mark in toronto
nj phin
soiled bottom
cuban menace
fake gm
mr bunglito

We will raid Miami, we will take no homophobic bloggers, we will eat your children!!!!

cuban menace in a perfect setting, he would be "Delta Force Captain " in charge

No Bunglito, just somebody tired of reading all your garbage....i don't see nearly as many posts from menance or roy as I do from you, and very few of your's have anything to do with the actual blog entry.

Dear Mr. Ky for Him

"Im tierd of Reading all these Mean posts on here. Why cant we all be freinds"

I couldn't agree more.

We shouls all hold hands together and sing "Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya"

Dear Mr. Gopats

"what job you picture these people or are doing in a perfect setting"

Folding towels in the prison laundry.

Soiled :)

could someone please clean out the goldfish tank?

Dear Mr. Voom04

"could someone please clean out the goldfish tank?"

Have you checked the filter ? Usually there is a charcoal filter that gets dirty.

There pretty inexpensive just head on down to your local pet store and grab one.

Soiled :)

Jersey Mike,

You claim that Bunglito makes alot of posts compared to roy or menace. Menace will post using another name such as gopats or whatever. No really fair to blam Bunglito or anyone else for that matter. People do use other people's names sometimes. It happens to me. Get over it. Gopats will post as someone called C.

mark in toronto, are so the sissy and narc every one grew up with and either hate or beat the crap out of. oh teacher he just hit me, teacher he's looking at me. shut the f up. and no jaksin is me and me only. the rest of you homo phobes lay off my name. but yes some sorry floridian is distastfully ruining all are good names on the cheese blog. dont hide be your self candy a's

Jersey Mike,

Armando is one to talk about unrelated posts or fake posts. For all we know he also posts as gopats. You and I both know he cannot honestly say he never posted here using another name. Why don't we kick out all the moronic posts and keep it for 100% fin fans only, sorry gopats.

mark in toronto, please dont tell the teacher i just passed a note! you narc suck a$$. still salty over all the ass whippings you must have taken, thats right the actuall fag no one liked. go cry to mama candy ass!

thanks mr. soiled bottom, when the dolphins come to feed on all the little goldfish, we need it clean, have to get rid of all the bottomfeeders and clownfish.

Dear Mr. Ace

This Blog site is a gathering place for All Dolphin fans no matter the depth of there Football knowledge.

Some have much to add some not so much.I know I dont add much :(

It is sad when you respond to someone but that someone is someone else.

Soiled :)

mark . You're the cry baby on here . you were the firt one crying and complaining about posters. then when somebody calls you out , you cry some more . wah! wah ! wah! wah! wah wah! wah !

mark from toronto, you should need a passport to even speak on this forum. go watch some southpark man, than get back to me with all your genius ways. call me crazy, but with out casino's you people do not exsist.

Ace . thank you very much. That's how stupid and naive jersey mike is , that he doesn't know that 90% of the posts are the menace using different names. LMAO !

this is the perfect opportunity to get buress knowing that he has to walk a straight line or risk never finding a job...dolphins have an advantage, now is not the time shun quality recievers away because of the past or their mistakes...

They won't sign Buress either because THEY ARE GOING TO SIGN BOLDIN........YOU'LL SEE....

"Ace . thank you very much. That's how stupid and naive jersey mike is , that he doesn't know that 90% of the posts are the menace using different names. LMAO "

See this is what i'm talking about, somebody call you out or disagrees with you, and you regress the conversation to a elementary level questioning people's intelligence, sexuality, ,etc... I don't know how many aliases menace has, but i read this blog quite a bit and have noticed it....you aren't any better though. Seems to me that you are the village idiot of this forum, and you always have to get the last word in.

Jersey Mike,

I can see your point on some things. Think about this for a minute. How do you even know you are talking to the true Mr. Bunglito? Someone can use his name and call you an AZZZ. Then someone else claiming to the true Bunglito can claim it was a fake post. Nobody will ever know. The Menace says he alone posts as himself but this is a lie. Then again who cares if he is lying or telling the truth. Menace will almost never insult anyone. He will get you when he posts as someone else. Check it out and you will see. Q for you. Do you like pitbulls?

names he used....rex, dfan , carlito,culito,frost,ky for him,Dmc and more

ACE , he thinks he can fool us.he's an az

Jersey Mike,

See what I mean. Look at the response from "florida" Florida claims that i also use names like rex, don't know the clown, frost or even ky. The point is who cares. How do they know if I am even the real Ace. The eprson who posted this is probably gopats or menace. It would be too obvious if they were to post now using their true names. LOL

It is quite obvious that what I said must of rubbed a nerve because of the post at 11:03pm and 11:15pm. Good try

lmao@jersey mike. look who has to have the last word village idiot. if you don't like, then don't read you big baby.

it's funny that ACE to avoid mr bunglito's attack,he blames menace , not himself RexRanSucks

I am definitely not Ace or any one else.

I know why the Dolphins wont sign Plaxico Burress. Have anybody seen the movie The Last Boyscout? That is why.

Hey Bunglito,

Let Jersey Mike be the last one to post. Or why don't you have a fake Jersey Mike post the last word. maybe then he will understand.

did every one notice yet that ace wrote a lot of posts last few hours and by magic we can't find any post written by rex or catlito or dfan or Ky for him or DMC's and any of the new names he used last few days.

weber = menace

I, Carlito, have been around this blog much longer than the name Ace. Any body with good football IQ also knows this fact.

weber good response, I like that, you direct the heat back to me. Pretty good, nice try

we know ace sign with so many names ,we can't keep count any more,just forget about it as bunglito too.

Ace, why you always tell people nice try? Will Joey Porter and Jason Taylor say nice try when they make shredded beef of Tom Bray?



I was trying to educate Jersey Mike in his confusion. You say you were on here longer than Ace. How do you know I have always posted as Ace? It really doesn't matter. Remember this that the true Ace never insults true fin fans, sorry gopats,

Guys, the menace hasnt been on the blog since 8 am, any way id rather have ted(side line) ginn then burress....believe that...

carlito aka ace,so what does that mean if the name Carlito was here before ACE or rexryansucks,you have few new names last few days and the target was same on all their post written with hate.

IT IS A MIRACLE THE MENACE SUDDENLY APPEARS. just like magic. How are you doing Cuban Menace?


What did I write with hate this evening? Show me the proof. Please tell me.


What target do you speak of?

I am not gopats and I did not insult you. I am carlito and I am from golfito.

I was not trying to insult you by saying I have been around this blog longer than you. I was only saying that I was posting on here before you showed up, so how could I be one of your alias?

carlito aka ace just used the word shredded beef ,this famous word was used first by you ace under the name rexryansucks.

Ace, you are a very sensitive person. Who is your favorite Dolphin? Was it John Beck?

lmao@ace. good one. poof, just like Magic the cuban menace appears. LOL

Carlito no problem. I know you are not me and I am not you. Weber I never use the word shredded beef. Now you are lying, keep going you will get better with practice.

I always tell the truth even when I lie. Can you guess what movie that is from?

I was using the word shredded beef because it is funny and always gets gopats going. It is also a good description for Tom Brady's knee and I think it was coined by Luggi.

carlito's way?

ace aka carlito just posted 4 times in 4 minutes,11;44-11;45 under ace
11;46-11;47 under carlito. it's nice to see the same person writes in a hurry,one post per minute and all of the sudden they talk to each other without waiting a minute to think what to write.LOL LOL

Carlito you said you were using the word shredded beef to get at gopats. Then are you the guy named weber? Only because he recently posted using that word.

a new name was just added to ace aka carilto........jededia ,
ace getting mad, he posted 4 times again in 4 minutes,never happened that 4 posts comes on this blog that fast, look at these 4at 11;51-52-53-54....magic LOL

Ace, doing good, and let me give a shout out to my friend on the pacific coast of costa rica carlito...(p.s carlito if there was a garden of Eden it was in your country)

weber the great, i believe you posted at 11:47,
It does not make sense for someone to post with a minute. I can explain this to you if you like.

Ace I used shredded beef in my post at 11:38 talking about Porter, Taylor, and Brady's knee. This is what Weber was talking about in his post.

I suspect Weber is gopats because he doesn't like the thought of shredded beef.

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