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Where the real Dolphins star power should be

Land Shark Stadium logo

I went to a Jimmy Buffett concert Friday morning. No, seriously.

As a way of unveiling the new name and logo for Landshark Stadium, the one formerly known as Dolphins, then Joe Robbie, then Pro Player, then Dolphins again, then Dolphin Stadium, new owner Stephen Ross is enlisting the help of his friend Jimmy Buffett.

Buffett, who has been invited to join the Dolphins as a minority owner but has not committed, performed three songs at the venue before invited media and serveral "VIP" guests that included men in hula skirts, people wearing fake parrots as headgear, and yes, even makeup. It was quite a scene with Dolphins great Kim Bokamper and Dolphins mediocre Joe Rose dancing with one another as if drunk and in love.

The new logo is a fin rising out of a depiction of the stadium.

As I told you first in a post about three weeks ago, Ross wants to glamorize Dolphins games. He wants people to think of game day as an event that transcends football. He wants to make Landshark Stadium the place to be on home game Sundays in the fall and winter. And to do that, in part, he intends to attract and invite A-B-C- and D-listers to the games as well as athletes and celebrities from other sports.

The only "celebrity" at the venue Friday, aside from former Miami players, was former Miami Heat center Alonzo Mourning.

Ross intends to institute a red aqua orange carpet so paparazzi can get their shots of the so-called stars before they parade around the field prior to the game, then head behind the windows of their private suites. (Yeah, you didn't think Paris Hilton was going to sit in the stands did you?)

So why am I telling you this?

Because it is freaking, fracking fascinating when you consider that the new owner is trying to turn the business side of the organization into something of a showcase while the guy running the football operation loves collecting lunch pail players and fielding a blue collar team.

It is a startling contrast of approaches within the same organization.

Ross wants the beautiful people to come out to his games. He wants stars and glitz. He wants the Dolphins organization to represent and embody South Florida, Miami, and South Beach with all its diversity and flavors and attractions. 

Bill Parcells wants a team made of players that make a living behind facemasks and are happy staying relatively anonymous. Did you see the Parcells video a couple of posts ago on this blog? He warns his quarterback against being "a celebrity quarterback."

"We don't need any of those," Parcells admonishes.

And I know he pretty much feels the same way about running backs, and tight ends and defensive ends and safeties and every other position on the field. Parcells would rather his players not write books and not appear on reality or interview shows. He'd be fine with a namelss, faceless band that just thinks, eats and breathes football.

So you have the juxtaposition of those two different approaches within the same organization -- one on the business and marketing end, the other on the football side. And I would tell you neither is wrong. But neither is completely right.

Let's face it, the reason people want to buy tickets is to see their team win. And the stars that really attract fans are usually in the game. Sure, it would be cool to go to a football game and, by chance, see Jennifer Aniston walking to her suite. But that experience would not be worth a nickel if you're walking out of the stadium later unhappy because your team hasn't enough firepower to beat great opponents.

So the hope is the Dolphins soon find some bigtime stars on the football roster. While the stars in sunglasses and walking with entourages don't get in the way of the real show.

[BLOG NOTE: I saw former receiver Nat Moore and safety Shawn Wooden at the event today. We talked for a while and out of those conversations I will tell you on this blog on Saturday the importance of veteran leadership and how a lack of that hurt John Beck and continues to hurt Ted Ginn Jr. So check back Saturday for that insight from two men worthy of respect.]


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Good post Mando.

third and it was stupid.

fourth. Also get ready for the blue man group and cirque du soleil half -time shows !

This also is a reason that this will be the tuna's last year.

Im starting to miss Mr. Huizenga more and more. I wonder if Parcels does too.

It makes sense that Ross would want to increase attendance by inviting stars. But here is the problem with this approach: It is just wrong. Fans dont spend $150 (tickets, parking, and food) to go see famouse people at the game. Fans couldnt care less about the fact that there are celebrities at the game. They will go if the team is good, and wont go if the team isnt good. Ross will find this out pretty quickly.

Does Ross think that if the Dolphins are 2-6 midway through a season, there will still be good attendance at the games b/c people will invest $150 and 6 hours of a beautiful day in South Florida to go get a glimpse of Dwayne Wade and Beyonce? If he does, he is delusional.

Conversely, if the Dolphins are 6-2, the stadium will be packed and loud, even if the most famouse person in the stands is Dolphan Denny.

Another mistake Ross is making is that he is confusing the NFL with the NBA. At NBA games, stars add to the fun and attraction b/c they are actually sitting in the stands with the fans. In the NFL (like Armando points out) all the celebrities will be in suites where they are excluded from the average fan. So they will be hidden away and irrelevant. They will not in any way add to the game day experience, even on the most marginal level. B/c the average fan wont even get a glimpse of those celebrities, except on the jumbotron.

Ross is an intelligent guy and has been a very good owner so far, staying out of the way of the football side of things. He is just trying to boost attendance and the gameday experience in the wrong way. Over the next few years it will dawn upon him that the only way to boost the gameday experience is by hiring the best football people possible so that they can put the best product on the field. He will learn that great teams draw big crowds, not Dwayne Wade, Beyonce, and Angelina Jolie.

Fake GM. Dolphin Denny is dead.

I dislike Stephen Ross more and more every day. I'm going to try to get enough money to buy the Dolphins from him. I used to feel sorry for Raiders' fans with Al Davis as their owner. Now, it looks like Dolphins' fans might be in the same boat with this dumbass.

Landshark stadium is embarassing. Especially for the Dolphins.

The Dolphins play at Landshark Stadium?

Do Dolphins play with sharks?


Great! why not have both sides of the spectrum. Dominate team with an extravagant stadium! I hate live games and rather watch them on the tube, but whatever works best! This is great. We are going to win a superbowl fairly soon, mark my words.

C'mon Mondo, you know you're there as a VIP, not just as "media".

Landshark Stadium is the crapiest name yet. What a joke. Side note: Anyone remember the 'Landshark' SNL skit with Chevy Chase?

In this age of political correctness I am totally surprised we have a stadium (and a beer) that represents something so negative. Males hawking females in all the social circles for a one night stand.

I could care less what they call the stadium, I'm there to see a quality team give their best, but I was just surprised at the name choice.

No matter what corporation or entity ponies up the big bucks for naming rights I will always call Joe Robbie Stadium Joe Robbie Stadium out of respect for the man who built it.Does anybody else remember the events that led to its constuction in the first place?After failing to get our local politicians to see the light and upgrade the Orange Bowl{may she rest in peace}he scraped the money together and built his own stadium.Without him there would be no Miami Dolphins or stadium to name and rename ad nauseam.

Landshark is a name a kid thinks up. Is the beer any good? Does it give me the trots? Is my head splitting after 2 beers? What do these media moguls think they are selling?
I am not going there to see Mylie Cyrus. And if she was sitting beside me with her Daddy and great looking wife, I would stell be there for the game.
Ross doesn't get it. Football isn't an elitist sport.

How much did Mr. Margaritaville pay for the rights to call it Landshark Stadium? It's a pretty dumb sounding name. But I suppose it's better than "Sam Adams Stadium" or "PBR Field."

I think Landshark is a better name than a lot of stadium names out there, but it still bites. Enron field use to be one of them. Citi Field, Qualcom, these names really suck.

any body knows if stallone or pat white's dad will be there ? that will be cool to see and talk to them for an hour or so.

I miss Don Shula. Isn't he the winningest coach ever? I know he has a steakhouse, but why isn't there a stadium named after him...or does he have to be dead first?

I miss Dolfan Denny!

True enough seeing Jennifer Anniston topless would be nice. But seeing the Jets quarterback decapitated would be nicer.

I agree the stars have to be in uniform instead of in the suites. And Landshark Stadium?


I want to see them put Flipper back in a tank behind one of the goal posts or on the sideline. That's how it was in the Orange Bowl in the old days. What a great time. What great memories.

Joe Robbie Pro Player Dolphins Landshark Stadium is crap for atmosphere by comparison.

Mando the more I read about this new owner the less I like him. His next predictable move will be to have food and wine tastings outside the stadium before games.

I can just see it now: Come taste some arroz con polo or some jerk chicken and wash it down with Landshark pisswater!

I want burgers or hot dogs at my games. I want stars in the huddle on offense and defense. And I want ross to stay out of Bill Parcells' way and not muck things up in the least. I don't even want the guy showing up to practices or calling Parcells on the phone. Let him be and let him do what he does.

enough of the cheap jokes, i need some one with creative mind to post a good funny joke without stating the obvious ones to make me laugh .
see who's this genius .

FLPD, ross bought the team to make money also, he's not not here to make you fat and happy. you have good time and he got good biz going,what's wrong with that .

FLPD, i just called and i was told they will have your pig hot dog ready for you when you come to the dolphin stadium in game day and only SHARK beer will be in sale ..

Who cares, who is at the games, what the stadium is called or if the mascot is used condom, as long as we win games.

This hollywood approach makes me sick. Ross and Parcells couldn't be any different in their approach to building a winning FOOTBALL organization. Our new owner is going to chase the best thing that's happened to our team in a long time, but at least we'll have celebrities at the games.

Not good at all...

If you want and need stars to come to the games, just win and make it an event that people want to be at.

Otherwise, all the sushi rolls and weak ass Buffet songs will do nothing but make gameday a circus... and have blue collar guys like Parcells and company hitting the bricks.

Don't "F" this up Ross!

This IS the stupidest name for a stadium EVER. And yes, I will echo the sentiments of the above postings-missing Mr. H a whole bunch right about now-and next year when Parcell's is too smart to stay with the new idiot owner, we will all remember 'the good ol days'

What crap.

Oh, and Land Shark Stadium is dumb. How does this represent the Dolphins or Marlins? Don't get me wrong, corporate naming rights, while unfortunately necessary these days, give us dumb stadium names but naming the stadium Land Shark where two different fish play is a horrible marketing decision and dislexic play on words. And the beer sucks!

i agree with mitch

This has stupid written all over it. Its so stupid, i think Mando just made this article up to get his clicks :)
Seriously i hope this is a one time joke by Mr. Ross.

Why not bring back "Dolphin Denny" as a mascot? It wouldn't be that hard to find a dude that looks like Denny and dress him up the same way. We need to do things to get back to Dolphins traditions as well.

This mockey WILL be the ruin of this franchise. I've posted this concern since I heard of his planned purchase of the team. What can I say? I don't trust weasel-like real estate button pushers wo wouldn't know physicality if it punched them in the face. Scumbag will digust Parcells enough to bolt. He will also raise ticket prices. He will raise all the prices involved, hoping that the franchise will appreciate like a piece of real estate in Manhattan. This guy would sell his own mother and father for the right price.

Any chance the phins go after levi jones recently released from cincicrapi bengals?

mr ross sure proved he's a man of his word and he wants to win ,you fan should thanking him day and night for keeping the dolphins a float and keeping the tuna team work in peace. so all these that aren't happy, they just cooled with few shark beers and some pig hot dogs .

SoiledBottom, what are your thoughts on this topic ?

Recidivist, why are you so angry ? i think Ross should starting raise ticket prices and food prices and don't forget the best beer around the shark beer.it's oky if it helps to pay our players.

Since this column is employing a "celebrity motif," I've decided below to list my FIFTY FAVORITE PEOPLE OF ALL TIME. There is no rhyme nor reason to my order. This is simply the first 50 people who come to mind - historical heroes, athletic heroes, cultural heroes, etc.

1) Don Shula
2) Abraham Lincoln
3) Ulysses S. Grant
4) Jackie Robinson
5) Martin Luther King, Jr.
6) Dan Marino
7) Bobby Orr
8) Gene Kelly
9) George Gershwin
10) Mark Twain
11) Audrey Hepburn
12) Phil Esposito
13) George Will
14) Charles Krauthammer
15) Dennis Prager
16) Jimmy Stewart
17) Spencer Tracy
18) Fred Astaire
19) Jeanne Kirkpatrick
20) Moses
21) Maimonides
22) Felix Mendelssohn
23) George Washington
24) David Ben-Gurion
25) Alexander Hamilton
26) Tom Clements
27) Gilbert Gottfried
28) Ernest Hemingway
29) George Orwell
30) Charles Dickens
31) Douglas MacArthur
32) Newt Gingrich
33) Ronald Reagan
34) Dick Cheney
35) George W. Bush
36) Donald Rumsfeld
37) Frank Gaffney, Jr.
38) Larry Csonka
39) Ted Williams
40) Ludwig Van Beethoven
41) Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart
42) Calvin Coolidge
43) John Brown (I still can't decide if he was a hero or a violent nut or both. But I'm sorry, he goes on the list.)
44) Caroll O'Connor
45) Scoop Jackson
46) Winston Churchill
47) Babe Ruth
48) Bob Griese
49) Paul Warfield
50) Cuban Menace


Here is the link to the SNL Landshark skit.

Hotdogs, soft drinks (under 21), Beer (21+), pretzels w/mustard...

I remember the old NFL Films of the offensive and defensive linement covered in mud, seeing their breath in the cold... and they played for a year for less than these dreamboats get for a game (goes for beezball and basketball too).

I would rather see the old run, run, run... offense and the beat the living s... out of them defense... OK, maybe a longball now and then, and a fantastic punt / kickoff return...

And yes, I miss Dolfan Denny, the new guy just doesn't cut it.

based on mr dodsworth,i am thrilled he's not a teacher of any kind. i wish he just his women from sally to sophia.

who is that dude with the mustache, that is next to those big dudes, that are winding it up they show them like in every home game.

Sooo... I just turned on nfl network and see the DOLPHINS making a big "hoopla
" about naming their stadium... how embarrassing :|
we all know Parcells loves the spotlight. That's why hes still in Dallas with Jerry Jones.

Sooo... I just turned on nfl network and see the DOLPHINS making a big "hoopla
" about naming their stadium... how embarrassing :|
we all know Parcells loves the spotlight. That's why hes still in Dallas with Jerry Jones.

Lets bring back Jimmy Johnson...he would love all the fanfare, red-carpet treatment Ross is trying to implement...as long, of course, he's in the middle of all of it...should name one of the beer stands "Jimmy's Brew"

I can see Buffett and Ricky out on the beach smoking weed and singing "margaritaville"...

That Papa Pump, and he's "stiring" it up heh.


invite the slap boy ALSTON from orlando magic to opening day.

I think what people fail to realize is we are in a recession. Everybody!!! They just had a report on NFL network about nfl assistant coaches and staff members loosing there pension. Staff members getting laid off. So Ross is only doing what he has to do as a business man and I think Bill understands that being in the league so long and understanding that it is a business. Armondo nows this, but he needs something to write about to create a fresh buzz. :)

1-i love to see lily kim and lopez come to the game ,

2- name the stadium Marilyn Monroe and give each fan a photo of her and they be all yours mr ross

soiledbottom at last is Banned .

speaking of land shark..
here is a vid of sharking in u.s.a enjoy!

anybody can tell me the words of the Jimmy Buffet song about Dolphins and Landsharks?

If the Super Bowl can go wild with celebraties, why can't the Dolphins?
Better to grant Buffet right to change his beer to Dolphins Beer and keep the stadium name the same.


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