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Brandon Marshall guarantees playoff berth for Dolphins

Brandon Marshall just guaranteed the Miami Dolphins will be in the playoffs this season.

"Oh, yeah, absolutely," Marshall said when asked if he was guaranteeing a playoff berth.

"I don't know how many wins it's going to take," he continued, "but we'll be there at the end."

Marshall is not blind. He recognizes the team is struggling. The Dolphins are 4-4. And Marshall characterized Miami's offensive performances so far as, "up and down."

But ... the confidence. The ever-loving confidence peeks through eventually.

"Any minute now, we're going to put it all together," he said.

By the way, wise guys, Marshall meant he guarantees a playoff berth this year, not some day. Just in case some of you get cute.

By the way, Marshall isn't the only person in the NFL exuding confidence today. At New York Jets training facility, coach Rex Ryan was back to his old Hard Knocks ways.

"We have more talent than anybody," he said during his press conference. "I expect to win every game."

Which one is more likely to be true?



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Chad Pennington will be the first Quarter Back in NFL history to throw 99 passes for 99 yards on one drive and score a Touchdown!

I will throw my game snack and drink in the air and be at a loss on how to celebrate. The FIST PUMP is part of me now, part of who I am. And dammit I am not ashamed! Thank you skinny, fat, big hair or tight cut Oprah! I am a free man!

Posted by: Martin | November 11, 2010 at 05:40 PM

No Martin. Pennington will become the first qb in nfl history that throws a pass and the reciever misses the ball and catches Chad Pennington's severed arm.


Any truth to the rumor Penn tosses clays at the trap shooting competitions? But instead uses Footballs?

Go Phins!


Not sure Martin but at this point I would be uncertain about picking Pennington as a horse shoes partner. His fricking arm may fall off.

If you catch the ball with the arm still attached is that a penalty? Like if the arm hits the defender in flight is it offensive pass interference? This could really backfire?

Feed the Waiver Wire!
Go Phins

Miami Vice, I disagree with you that leadership can be taught. I think leadership is something about a person's personality. It can't be learned. People either have "it" or don't. That is the "it" factor that only a handful of QB's have. When the leadership aint authentic and truly a person's personality it can be seen a mile away from everyone and especially team mates.

If you catch the ball with the arm still attached is that a penalty? Like if the arm hits the defender in flight is it offensive pass interference? This could really backfire?

Feed the Waiver Wire!
Go Phins

Posted by: Martin | November 11, 2010 at 05:50 PM

Im not sure Martin. But statiscally it should count as 2 receptions instead of one.

We will see maybe Henne will be the future QB but he has struggled this year this is a good short term move maybe it will wake Henne up and the next time he gets a chance he will show a little more FIRE and alot less 1 yard passes as far as the playoffs go they are within in reach if Pennington plays like he did in 08 but he has not played in a long time, Here is to hoping he plays well CHEERS GO FINS

For everyone that was pissed at me coining the phrase "why not ass" you owe me an apology!

I can guarentee you Chad Henne said to Coach Sparano " I'm not starting? "WHY NOT ASS"!

Feed the Waiver wire!

Go Phins!


If while throwing the ball Pennington's arm becomes detached. If the wr catches the ball right after the defender gets hit by Pennington's detached arm. Im sure the refs will throw the yellow flag and call offensive interference by the qb on Pennington.

I wish I could win 1 Superbowl on the back of a Coked up Lawrence Taylor and parlay it into a 30 year career ending up as a Shi**y consultant that takes the money and runs. Only on America!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!


I'm pretty sure the Pittsburgh refs will review it and call it inconclusive. They will then award the bloody ball and arm to the Titans. Penn will be forced to refrain from fist pumping as his balance and equilibrium will cause him to fall. This could get ugly?


Has anyone ever seen Chap Pennington throw lefty? Im sure it cant be any worse than when he throws righty.


They will put the arm on ice, re-attach it in a 14 hour surgery in time to make him the 2020 comeback player of the year. He will get a huge endorsement deal from "Dunkin Donuts"...Awesome!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!


Is it me or is it that Chad Pennington's lips really are prettier than my Wife's? Sure hope that boy never runs afoul of the law if you know what I mean.

I don't mind Marshall saying that as much as I would say Joey Porter a couple years back. Just gotta love that confidence w WR

OK Kids, The Menace is back in his "Home" Town, for some fishing,drinking and some good old fashion rock & Roll... I believe it's time for some "Rex is so fat...." Jokes, so I'll start, Rex is sooooo fat he has his own gravitational pull......


Penn's arm will fly through the uprights! Sparano will do the biggest FIST PUMP ever. It will boom-r-rang backk up to the coahing booth where it will strike Dan Henning's Oxygen Tank. It flops on the ground and Tony Saragusa picks it up as he is walking by and puts it on a bun with mustard ,onions and relish! Damn!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

Feed the waiver wire...LMAO...Classic


Dunkin Doughnuts, isnt that still a little strenuos for Pennington? I was thinking more in line with the new 2020 new fashion ensemble called "Up Yours" panty hoses. They could use his bum arm to tes fabric strength and flexibility.

henne is not a leader and will never be a leader. pennington is not the long term answer, we all know that, he will finish out the last 8 games of the season and yes the dolphins will continue the search for that elite qb they so desperately need. pennington will get the job done. who cares about past games against baltimore. the time is now! the dolphins better be worried about their defense.



I think that's what he meant by Feed the Wolf? Every week he sacrifices someone? Feed the waiver wire?

Go Phins!

Martin, Your on a roll today.....

I seriously do love Penn but like I said before, I crave a long term solution to the position, a real Phillip Rivers type of solution.

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

Rex Ryan is so fat that before he goes to sleep he sets 3 alarm clocks because he takes up 3 different time zones and he only wakes up one time zone at a time.

there is only one team worse than the dolphins at scoring td's. henne couldnt get us in the end zone. this was his 3rd year;coaches finally gave up on henne "the project". parcells was also disappointed in henne's lack of development.


Rex Ryan is soooo Fat...They strap him to the Top of the 747 when he flies. Just like a big fat kid on a pony.

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

Rex Ryan so fat before his lap band surgery he thougth that a lap band was something to keep his turkey from hitting the floor.

I was once disappointed at my 7th grade girlfriend back in 1978. She never fully developed!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

mimi offense scoring 17.9 points per game. 28th in the league. they have enough wepons. is it the play calling or qb? they have been in the redzone enough times. so do you think henning's plan is to get 5 field goals a game? lack of execution!

Rex Ryan so fat that when he was a kid they made him lose weight to play Santa Clause in the school play.

Rex is so fat he bends space and time....

Remember who the starting QB was when we last went to the playoffs?

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.........

Nice call Marshall, I say we go 9-1 or 8-2 our last 10 weeks.

Rex Ryan so fat when he went to Lion Country Safari he walked up too a 3 ton Elephant and said "What's up slim?"

Fin fan, there's only 8 game left..

Now for some real expert analysis... Penny's promotion will turn the season around. Or we won't win another game. Or nothing will really change. Or he'll get hurt in the second quarter, Chad Henne will return, Dan Carpenter will kick four field goals and we'll lose on a blown replay call. Or we'll win when an easy interception bounces off Sean Smith's hands and is caught by...AL HARRIS!

That's why they play the game on Sunday. You heard it here first. Or not. Go Dolphins!

that's funny

Rex Ryan is so fat they kicked him out of high school because when he came to class they couldnt find the other kids.

I meant 7-1 or 6-2 our last 8. I'm sure you all get what I mean, we are on the verge of something real good!!

Thanks for looking out menace.


I just found Kendall Langford's Bling! Yup I just found the earing he lost a practice!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

I gotta say...Not a single one of these fat jokes is funny

-Signed, the critic

Dan Marino's family pic-nic...

Hey son! wanna go throw around the "pig skin'!

Chad Pennington's family pic-nic...

Hey son! wanna go throw around the "Mallard"!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

cam newton stole my laptop, then he said it was going to cost me $180,000 to get it back!

Sorry Marc, You got any good ones??????

Rex Ryan is so fat that he was upset when he got to the Jets because he heard they had a "Big Tuna"............


Its not that the jokes arent funny, youre just boring as hell.

Rex Ryan so fat after seeing him the Michellin Man started smoking crack.

Rex Ryan is so fat...
When he went for his prostate exam they found Jimmy Hoffa and D.B. Cooper up in there. In his butt. The joke is about him being fat and those guys being up his ass crack and um...ok

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

MARC LOVES ATTENATION like the gay guy lives down the street .


It's cool Al! Hard to type with a Meatball sandwich in your mitss!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

Rex Ryan so fat when he was a kid his nickname was fat peoples.

Rex is sooooo Fat when he heard the fins "Motto" was feed the wolf,He thought they said "Eat a wolf" and he caused a near extinction.....

Rex Ryan so fat that every time it rained he took a shower in 3 different counties.

Rex Ryan played Augustus in the original Willy Wonka! He got stuck in the tube in the Chocolate River!

Feed the waiver wire!

Go Phins!

Oh Yeah, Happy Veterans day to all those that have served.......

Rex Ryan so fat that every time he sweats the national weather service puts the entire state under flood warnings.

Rex Ryan so fat its been considered to place him in the sahara desert with microwave lamps to cure age old drought problems.

But then they reconsidered after recognizing the smell of frying bacon would permiate the entire earth.

Rex is sooooo Fat that he's not allowed in the ocean for fear that water would rise 4 feet world wide......

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