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Brandon Marshall: 'It's too calm' around the Dolphins

Brandon Marshall hasn't been on the field since the Chicago game two weeks ago. He hasn't been in the end zone but once this season.

The guy's obviously bored. (I know the feeling, by the way as I cover team mediocre.)

Anyway, Marshall today said his hamstring that has kept him out of the line is "feeling fine" so that suggests he'll be playing Sunday against Cleveland. What he does with that opportunity is unclear because Marshall wants to make it unpredictable.

"I've been thinking of other ways where I can push the envelope without getting penalties or getting fined," Marshall said while talking about the taunting penalty he got for playfully tossing a caught ball at former Denver teammate Jay Cutler two weeks ago. "I got to get creative. I've been too boring this year.

"Of course, I got only one touchdown, but If I get in the end zone, I need to do some celebration or something. Do something. Any ideas, let me know. Just give me something. Something! I don't know, say something. Spark some controversy. It's too calm."

OK, you heard the man. He wants suggestions of what he should do to stir things up a bit. Get to it, people!

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Marc,

Just to give you an idea of how thwarted personal opinions can be. I once was a very strong advocate of the Dolphins signing then mammoth wrestler superstar "Andre the Giant."

I thought about using him as the heir apparent to Larry Czonka. LOL

MIAMI HEAT VS CLE A MUST SEE TV TONIGHT

How do you guys feel about but-head women?

In case some of you may not know, a but-head is a woman where everything looks good but her head.

So guys how do you feel about but-head women?

tell me now baby
wuz i gonna do now?
i saaayy tell me baby
wuz we gonna do now?
brandon threw a ball
then cleveland blocked a punt
henne in the redzone
passed it to cleveland what a cuunt
dem browns shut down our season
we ain't go no more reason
i say dis team is treason
honey bring me on some pleasin
to help me forget this season for good.

DB, honestly I've often wondered why they don't target SUMO wrestlers as O-linemen. They basically do the exact same job and they're enormous! Could you imagine 2 450lb SUMO guards as run-blockers?

Marc,

Send her to the South Eastern entrance to the Hiawatha National Forest.
Tell her to dress warm, were getting hammered with some lake effect snow off of Lake Superior!

You know what Marc, I don't want to have to go back out, could you send TWO?

Dying - we call them butter faces. (oh but her face!)

I call 'em butter-face

Everything's hot butter-face.

I have a couple, but, they're nothing more than booty calls. I don't take 'em out. I prefer total-package type women, but, a butter-face will do in a pinch

I have a puerto rican that has an INCREDIBLE body, but, def a so-so face...

Marc, def...she kind of looks like a transvestite in that photo, but if it beats righty, hey go for it!

The best overall player on this Dolphins roster is not Brandon Marshall, Karlos Dansby or Vontae Davis. It's Cameron Wake. This guy is a beast. What a freak!!!!!!!!

Marc,

If 450lb summo wrestlers were nfl linemen the league would have to greatly increase the 53 man roster limits.

At over 450lbs each they would only be good for 10 good plays per game. That means carrying 20-25 offensive and defensive lineman on your roster for just those positions alone. LOL

Ummm, on the border of Canada Odin? I don't think I can get a hooker up that far...Maybe if you're ever in town.

LEBRON ON TNT

Who cares about basketball...Lebron James is a jerk.

Another quote from the head coach this week regarding the team having more fun...


"it's our job to get you ready to play the game, it's your job to bring the emotion and the enthusiasm necessary.''

Sounds like he thinks he's got the focus part covered, wants the team to also have fun, bring enthusiasm and emotion.

Brandon Marshall is just following coaches orders, can't you aliens see that? LOL


That's not the Puerto Rican, she was Cuban/Costa Rican/Jamacain/Scottish, and had the nicest pooper and prettiest hoohah I've EVER seen...And I've seen lots

MARC, you SOUND LIKE A REAL DIRTY PERSON .

I don't know DB. Typical NFL play only lasts a few seconds. I think the Sumos could handle it. Maybe not an entire game, but, we rotate players all day anyway.

Marc,

DEAL!

DB,

I had some women with the absolute ultimate bodies. I didn't care if they were uglier than Mr. Ed.

Face down, but up and a Hi Ho Silver!!!!

Sometimes genetics are cruel. I can't do a Mrs Ed. That's rough

Odinseye,

In my heavy drinking days I woke up in the motel room with quite a few butterfaces. The "I'll be right back going out for a six pack" line worked like a charm everytime in getting away.

Aloco,

How do you make a player taller on game day?

See that's why us Vikings were able to pillage and plunder France on a routine basis.

Justifably so as well.

Damn everyone just booed LeBron and cheer for Illgaskas. Didnt he defect from Cleveland last season too?

You Earthlings should thank us aliens for the knowledge of intenet. For now you can watch your favorite ball games, have plenty of company, not woory about your buddy's giving your girlfriend or wife the eye, nor worry about her giving it to them.

But best of all Earthlings you no longer have to share your beer and chips with friends!

Speaking of butter-faces, I got my 5'7, bleach-blonde, fake DD'd girly coming over. You fellas enjoy...

Maybe he should work on CATCHING the ball when it comes to him.

Sometimes genetics are cruel. I can't do a Mrs Ed. That's rough


Posted by: Marc | December 02, 2010 at 08:11 PM


Marc your sounding a little shallow.

It's just like jumping in a cold pool. Once you're in, it's all good.

Besides, it makes the pretty ones that much prettier when you get back to them.

Another thing I've found is that a lot of times the beautiful ones seem to think being gorgeous is enough and they think they can gt away with just laying there. These are the ones you have to get out the "kit" for. Smear the makeup, pull the hair, etc, etc.

The more homely ones seem to be a lot more talented. They realize they have to work that thing and hope for the best.

Either way, one just makes the other all the more enjoyable!!!!

how about he have a multi touchdown game just go friggin beast during these last few games as fan if he does celebrate thats for him i would like to se beast mode all out

Not sold on Chris Bosh. He's ultra soft playing against other front court big men.

To me Chris Bosh just looks like he was the best player on a very bad team in Toronto. Hell, someone had to be the go to guy.

He has a very good shot when allowed to set his fee, but still the Heat got a big time stiff in Chris Bosh. He's an average defender and average rebounder.

Odinseye,

In a pitched dark room, once you put it in you cant tell the difference between the pretty ones from the ugly ones.

HAHA...Perhaps you've just had bad luck. By far most of the hotter one's I've had were total freaks. Of course, they were complete lunatics also. Some junkies, most sluuuts, but, all of them good lays...

Actually, one of the hottest was pretty lame at first, but, she had ZERO self esteem, so, it wasn't hard to mold her into a p0rn star doing ATM and getting spit on...

Kinda miss her

Marc,

Lunatics, junkies, ATM, spitting?

I'll bet your Mom wishes you'd just calm down and find a NICE girl-LOL!

Try scoring a touchdown first dude. You suck.

Marc,

For me its pretty much been the reverse. I admit I have had some pretty freaky pretty ones. But I hate to admit that one of the ugly ones was my best lay ever.

It was a shame too. She was ugly as sin so I would never be seen with her in public. But she was such a great lay I would glad run over a full flock of pretty girls just to get to her.

Even though some of the pretty girls were freaks too. Im not the greatest endowed guy but Im far from the smallest endowed too. The pretty girls were almost always stretched out beyond reasonable measure. I once had one do her nails while I booty-called without once going outside the borders of proper placement of her desired color of nail paint.

I just did my business and left. Even til today I dont think she evr realized when I begin or when I finished. Heck I dont even think she noticed when I left.

The Heat and Cavaliers could be playing that game in my backyard and I wouldn't watch it. The NBA is soooooooooo boring.

They should play 24 two minute games - then I'd watch.

I'd rather watch the Pittsburgh Pirates play the Kansas City Royals over any NBA game - the NBA needs to just go away. I'd rather watch soccer and I have never watched a soccer game in my life.

I once had a pretty girl that would play recordings of moans and grons just to make hurry and finish my business. Doing my business with her was like being the only ship in a very large sea and no horizons.

These are the same girl stories I heard teenagers tell me when we were all still virgins. Guys with the most stories typically are really just right hand masters.

jayhall222,

Believe it or not basketball's 2nd only to football as America's most popular sport.

al ali kundu,

We all thank you very kindly for your all seeing all knowing devinely inspired wisdom

BTW, do you have a little extra skin lotion that I can borrow? Little cold down here in Florida and my hand, oops I mean hands, are getting awfully chapped.

I liked basketball back in the days of Magic, Bird, Jordan. Now its boring. Baseball should be permanently flushed down the toilet along with all historic records of its existence. Paying guys millions to spit and scratch their balls. And how long is the season? 912 games? Who cares in June if you win or lose with 872 games left to play.

DyingBreed,

Just goes to show you Americans will fall for anything - maybe they can go buy another Snuggie or Chia Pet and watch the T-Wolves play the Kings.
I love college hoops - but the NBA needs to go away - it is the worst.

Sorry, I don't use lotion. I don't do womans work.

jayhall222,

I dont think its really that basketball so much itself sucks. It just really sucks air when your favorite team pretty much sucks too.

If you're a Miami Heat fan basketball pretty much sucks right now. But if you're a Celtic or Laker fan basketball's pretty much the great invention since the wheel.

al ali kundu,

Sorry, I don't use lotion. I don't do womans work.

Posted by: al ali kundu | December 02, 2010 at 09:06 PM


So what your saying is that the moans and groan your female makes when handling your business is primarily caused by the hard dry cracked callouses on your man tool?

Damn shame. Sitting here with the game on and just realized I have no idea of what the game score or what qtr this Heat Cavs game is in.

Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. You hit the nail on the head!

Wow... Heat winning 50-37 with 2 mins left 2nd qtr.

On my son they have to use a whole bottle of lotion.

This guy is a divarecieva, let him do his thing.

al ali kundu,

Thanks for your all knowing wisdom. I will immediately work on growing large hard dry and cracked callouses on my man tool so I can make the women moan and groan just like you do.

Question: Will this method also get females to pay your mortgage for you too?

Digressing for a moment to the fins...

Summing up the comments, I'd say regarding Brandon, he is frustrated that he fell off pace to have 100 catches, and as well that the playoff scenario looks dim. Neither a cause for immaturity when you are being paid MILLIONS.

Regarding everything else, my take is simply that of all these things we 'should' do on offense, its not so much that the FO isn't aware of the same things we see, its a matter of not having the ability (talent) to execute. So for all these 'why don't we do this or that', the real question is why can't we do this or that, and my guess is 90% of it is the interior oline, and 10% is we don't have an explosive RB that will scare anybody.

Anybody Ever Hear This Rappin Finfan On Youtube Called Solo D? His Songs Are Pretty Dope.

Oh yes indeed! You see mature women with $ don't want no weak pretty boy pecker, they want something weathered and durable. Having that, yes, they will pay your mortgage or just have you move in with them, as I have done. My biggest worry in life is making coffee in the morning. Hope it works as well for you as it has for me.

I have to consent that the wide receivers have grown much bigger, stronger. Who, back in the 1970's, would have stopped RM, TO, BM, etc. Nobody.

I once got busy with a chick and the front of her panties read, "Swim At Your Own Risk."

All I can say is that she was right. She had to call in the coast guard and it took 2 weeks to find and rescue me. I met both Jonas and the whale while inside off there.

I also think over half of the Bermuda triangle was tri-linked inside of her too.

Oh yes indeed! You see mature women with $ don't want no weak pretty boy pecker, they want something weathered and durable. Having that, yes, they will pay your mortgage or just have you move in with them, as I have done. My biggest worry in life is making coffee in the morning. Hope it works as well for you as it has for me.

Posted by: al ali kundu | December 02, 2010 at 09:24 PM


Does anyone here have any man-tool sandpaper I can borrow?

Why is it the higher the profile the athlete the worse their behavior? BM has cost this team with penalties and dropped passes this season. How about we just get a couple good games out of him the rest of the season.

yo brandon! try catching a dam pass!! be a team player!

I know its its not like anyone here really cares but the Eagles lead the Texans 17-10 right now.

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