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Not Naughty by Nature: You down with Ohhh and 16?

I told everyone in my column following the Dolphins latest loss that the team was bordering on joke material, that it might not be long before the late night comics latched on to the Dolphins' struggles and use them for giggles.

Well, a local Miami comedian has beaten them to the punch.

Hialeah's own Will Lopez, whose twitter page says he is the lead singer for the group "Guajiro" (if you're not Cuban, nevermind), has put together a little ditty about the Dolphins road the rest of the season. Lopez apparently is set on that road leading to Andrew Luck.

And, of course, the quickest way to get to Luck is to go 0-16. Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, 0-16:

 

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#1.

What would Eric Mangini say about this?

Trying to lose every game this year in an ATTEMPT to TRY and draft an UNPROVEN QB is a LOSERS mentality. How many college QB's were supposed to be the sure thing that never panned out? Stupid thinking.

THIS team can't throw, block, run, catch, tackle, or cover anybody. Not a single playmaker on the team. With the two idiots, Ireland and Sparano, running this team, 0-16 is very likely. WE NEED lUCK!

2 and 14 avoids an "imperfect" 0-16 season and will probably hand us luck, my only worry that if he sees the fins having 1st pick he'll stay in college another year

If this doesnt sum up the collective fanbase's mentality, I dont know what could

i'm not sure why everyone says "team" when talking about the miami dolphins. this is the furthest thing from "team"; its merely a collection of players ireland/sparano have assembled.

Well, he is behind Leno.

No stupid thinking is trying to win just enough games that we have no chance of drafting a QB for the future, in the name of "pride." Get real.

You want Miami to go on like this for a few more years? REAL fans want this sorry regime out of here so there's at least a hope of the Dolphins regaining the prestige they used to have, sometime in this century.

The extent of the conversation with Mangini:

SR: Does it make sense for me to fire Tony and put someone else in his position at this point of the season or should I just wait until the end of the season to make a change?

EM: Only if you have someone within the organization you feel can right the ship. If you are going outside the organization at the end of the season you would be better served to let the season end before making a change.

That's it. Nothing else.

John Mckay once said, when he coached Tampa Bay when asked about his teams execution I'm all for it.
Well Dolphin fans I am for this teams execution time to get rid of these idiots top to bottom.

If you were Luck would you want to go to a team whose ownership seems to be and fan base definitely are content with losing every game to gain draft position? I can see next year ready we have Luck if we lose every game we can get best running back in draft then the next year the best defensive end and so on. I'm more embarrassed by this fan mentality then the teams play which is horrendous. Those of you who were ok or even rooted for a loss to the $&@/$!? Jets you have no passion or heart just jump ship and stay with those d bags

ireland and sparano are 2 "on the job trainee's" who don't have a clue. any sane owner would relieve them of their duties and appoint an interim coach(mike nolan). its obvious the boat has no one to steer it as its hopelessly adrift. the fans deserve better.

If we win the "Luck Sweepstakes" that will be the Silver lining from the trifecta. That will be their legacy and if it happens I for one will be thankful. :)

Bye Bye Trifecta

Hello new HC and Luck.

Would number 7 be a cursed number for Luck?

Luck still has his senior year coming up. I dont think anyone has confirmation that hes even going to enter the draft!! Also we have a lot of problems that a great QB is not going to solve. Folks we have a dysfunctional ball club. We have a bunch of good players but they dont work good as a team. The whole thing has not been put together well. Thats the problem. That falls on Management.

Dear Steve in the LC,

Go hang your righteous self.

Sincerely,
GT

with our luck we go 0-16 and still won't get luck. Colts will have the worst record.

If Ross waits until the end of the season to fire Sparano, then he has to wait until then to start interviewing candidates, to avoid the kind of "Harbaugh drama" from last offseason. Naming an "interim" coach now, who understand his "interim" role would give Ross plenty of time to interview and hire the right person (or persons... HC and GM) Any thoughts?

Anyone who thinks that this team has any chance at all to beat the Broncos this weekend is just plain in denial. Tony Sparano gave up on this team on Monday night with 1:23 left in the first half by not trying to score. If that isnt the coach telling the players he has no confidence in them, I dont know what is. Team is lost and done for the year hellom 0-16. Goodbye to a once rellevant and proud franchise.

Only a fool would continue to care a hoot about this vapid organization that merits not one second of thought or attention.

Steve and others:

We are not TRYING to lose games. We are losing games simply because WE SUCK!!!

This team hasn't given up. It just has poor organization from the top, poor talent evaluators, poor Coaching, little talent and poor execution from personnel. That's not a recipe to win. This isn't something that just came about. EVERYONE saw this last year. The same embarrassment you felt at Xmas and NE last year is the same feeling we all have now.

So stop saying we are TRYING to do anything. Accept that this team just is a JOKE.

However, EVERY expert in the WORLD is saying Luck is the surest thing since John Elway. Watch him play and you can see why. Also, many are saying this will be the strongest QB class in a while. That's very promising since there are a bunch of rookie QBs lighting up the league this year (in a supposedly weak class). So, getting the 1st-3rd pick in the Draft will DEFINITELY garner a team a QB they can build around for the future if they so wish. One of those teams will be the Miami Dolphins (under new leadership).

I. CAN'T. WAIT.

This team lollygags to the line of scrimmage. They lollygag into the secondary. They lollygag to the ball-carrier. You know what that makes them?

Lollygaggers!

Can someone tell me what "Guajiro" is? One thing about So Fla is sometimes you think your in Cuba.

Hard work means nothing when led by ignorance & stupidity.

The last 11 games should be watched with a bottle of your favorite spirits & sit back & enjoy the ride....

Ive been a fan since the Dolphins were born, Ive seen it all with this franchise, But NEVER have I rooted for this team to loose..How could I, Im a fan..Read Cote's article, pretty interessting. What i actually wish, NO its not Luck, or that we go 0-16..I wish Saturday all fans would show up for the game. NO PAPER BAGS, NO Luck signs, just root your team on..Who cares if you think the owner, coach, and gm are all idiots. Your cheering the men on the field, many of which work hard, and are trying to win, want to win..thats who your rooting for..Geez, think about it, if your having rough times, down on your luck, what do you want? Your friends and family to laugh and point fingers at you? or do you want there support? My heart went out to the Lions in that 0-16 season, the very last game, the very last loss, when they realized they made history, Do you realy wish that upon your team? if so, your not a fan..Im in Germany, cant be there for the game. But I will be in front of my TV, ROOTING MY TEAM ON!!! Because thats what fans do..

Its almost a disgrace to say Im a fan, and not because of the team. But because it associates me with people on this blog. Its down right sickening, and MANDO SHAME ON YOU THIS TIME FOR FUELING THE FIRE WITH YOUR LATEST..

Read more: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/dolphins_in_depth/2011/10/dolphins-consulting-with-eric-mangini/comments/page/5/#comments#ixzz1bEbxnEuG

JUST FOR YOU STEVE
Just a note..1st pick QB's since 1970
70- Bradshaw
71-Plunkett
83-Elway
87-Testraverde
89-Aikman
93-Bledsoe
98-Manning
99-Couch
01-Vick
02-Carr
03-Palmer
04-Manning
05-Smith
07-Russell
09-Stafford
10-Bradford
First pick does not mean your getting a Super Bowl, HOF, stud QB. Betting everything on the first pick of the draft, including selling the owner,trading everyone,loosing 16 games,re=painting the stadium, giving out free tickets,sleeping with Mando's wife etc...Does not mean Luck is taking us to the SB

Read more: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/dolphins_in_depth/2011/10/dolphins-consulting-with-eric-mangini/comments/page/5/#comments#ixzz1bEdciitQ

How do we get rid of an ownwer? Ross the MORON has to go. Suck for Luck!

Considering we all know that Sparano and Ireland will be gone next season, lets take a look at new coaches, and who might be able to fill those shoes..I WISH MANDO OR ANYONE TO GIVE THERE OPINIONS AND IDEAS..

College Coach possibilities
Gary Patterson
Chris peterson
Bob Stoops
Gene Chizik
However I doubt any of these are going to give up there current jobs, and College Coach going Pro is just as risky as a first pick QB..
Possible Pro Coaches available
Bill Cowher,
However he wants to pick his own crew, not a problem. except most of those candidates are happy where they are at..he will probably stay with CBS.
Perry Fewell
Russ Grimm
Greg Williams
Jeff Fisher,
Fisher at the moment is not interested in coaching. Maybe he could be lured in, maybe not.

So in about 40 years, 13 Super Bowls were won with #1 pick QBs. Not first round QBs, #1 pick QBs. Yes, there's a handful of flops on that list but I still like those odds.

You know this team has become irrelevant when the jets fans don't even bother to post their nonsense in this blog.

How can one want the team to lay down for the balance of the season and at the same time get upset that TS did nothing at the end of the half?

I think they should go all out to win in every remaining game. Given the present state of the team, many losses likely will result, but at least the games might be fun to watch, and we may see a few young players show some stuff.

DC, I can't wait either. I've waited for that qb since wannstedt passed brees for Jamar Fletcher.

Finfaneurope, scouting on 1st round qbs has come a long way since 1970. If you look around the league right now, you'll see the best teams have 1stto round qbs on them. Its not a guarantee like you say but it is the best shot.

I know Brady and schaub were not 1stmore Rounders but they seem to be the exception and trying to build something by doing the exception instead of the trend is doing things the hard way. I could care less if the qb we select flops, I'm just happy with them doing it. LIVE IN THE NOW!!!

To root for your team to lose is crazy. I'd rather us go 1- 15 than 0- 16 any season

Um, the game is Sunday. Not Saturday, finfan. But I like your enthusiasm. But if fans do show up Sat. & make it through the game Sunday then they will have shown more stamina & determination than the Phins have shown collectively through 5 games.

Going 0 and 16 guarantees NOTHING!
He may not want to come to Miami. He may decide to stay in college. Other teams might end up 0 and 16. He could break his leg before the end of this season.
He might even turn out to be a bust. This 0 and 16 idea is ridiculous.

I hope everyone shows up Saturday, so no one would be there Sunday. PUT PAPER BAGS ON YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU GO TO THE GAME!

So this is how ridiculous I am, I actually think this team is going to win on Sunday against Denver. There's nothing about the on the field product that convinces me of this but I just think it's time. It won't be pretty and it won't be convincing but it will be enough to eek one out. I hope I'm wrong because I believe every win will jeopardize the Dolphins chances of getting Andrew Luck. Think of this game like the OT Camarillo game winner back in '07 against the Ravens. It may be the only win of the year but I think in front of all the Tebow fans they will win. Look for Thomas and Dan Carpenter to be the difference.

It's no laughing matter!

Never mind the Rams and the Colts- the Broncos have also decided to make a desperate last minute dash for failure in case we slip up and win a game. Being the worst is not going to be as easy as it sounds!

Sorry, Spiderman, but I won't be wearing a paper bag. I also won't be tuening blue in the face booing and cursing the team, nor will I be loudly proclaiming to all within earshot that 'Sparano sucks' and that the team 'needs big changes' and we should 'suck for Luck' as if NONE of these original thoughts had EVER occurred to them.

Instead, because I only get the chance to return home an hit a home game once or twice a year I'll be catching up with old friends in Section 447 and actually having a GOOD TIME despite the wretched state of the team.

Hard to believe, I know, but that's the plan.

yeah. 0-16 and luck could become the next brady .lol but no, some rejects want to win 3 scrub games and pick 6th and draft a nobody then.lmao@u
wow. what loser talk. keep the sit that has been going on.lol

Funny- in an internally-conflicted-alpha-male sort of way- that Parcels picks Tony Sparano as the head coach for Miami.

The two could not be more different. When did you ever hear Parcels apologize for player performance so commonly and willingly as you so often, for example, heard Sparano apologize for WR play during the T. Ginn yrs. And more recently, would you ever have heard Parcels say that he wants to win so he can see his players smile?!! Yuck!!

I heard John Madden talk about how O-lineman were the nice guys of a team. They were the guys who, as boys, would listen to their moms when told to "go easy on others because you're bigger than them". Madden said how he had drills for O-lineman to help make them mean like his D-lineman (who were mean by nature).

Sparano is the O-lineman Madden talks about. He's a loveable coach with a bark that has no real bite. Our team is tentative like the big kid Madden talked about. And though not as loveable as Sparano, they have as little to no bite. Complete reflection of the head coach. Complete opposite of Parcels.

fatcells is why the team f'n blows.

Wow. Remind me to never see Will Lopez performing. That is seriously lame.

Also, a 'guajiro' is basically a country bumpkin. Armando acts as if this is some kind of secretive code word that only Cubans know but I'm an Irish guy who has known that term for decades. Not really obscure, Armando. You need to get out of Miami a little more often.

After witnessing Monday nights debacle I am convinced Tony is trying to make Ross fire him now so he can start his paid vacation. He already knows he's gone, what's the sense in sticking around and working 24/7 when he can sit at home and collect millions? He probably already figures to put the blame on Ireland in his next interview, (I don't blame him for doing so) and he's going to get a certain amount of sympathy because of what happened here with Ross. Parcells is sure to give him a glowing reference so what's left to do in Miami for him? Nothing, he wants to lose, he wants Ross to fire him. He's given up on the team and the fans and we have all given up on him.

Why is he still here? Daboll can certainly run the plays and lose just as many games as Tony. What scares me is that Daboll could actually fire up the offense and have complete final say over play installation which might get us the few wins we don't need and then lose out on Luck. But I'll be happy with any of the top 3 qbs at this point. And the new coach can sign a veteran QB as a mentor and backup or starter if the kid needs more time.

finfaneurope,

You're entitled to your opinion, but just so you know, you're thinking is elementary. Let me see if I can enlighten you:

Fans see a losing team.
One of the worst in the league.
Intelligent fans understand we've been losing since Marino because we haven't had a franchise QB.
Next year gives us the best chance since Marino to get that franchise QB.
Getting a franchise QB would change the entire dynamic of this team and MIGHT leapfrog them to become competitive for years.
Therefore, enlightened fans understand that losing this year simply ensures a better Draft pick next year, increasing the probability to get a franchise QB, increasing the chances of this team actually mattering past October.

Get it?

GM and NFL coach are not positions meant for on the job trainee's like ireland/sparano. they are suited for nothing more than division 3 college positions if that. you cant fool the NFL for long;you will be exposed!

I picked the Dolphins to beat the Jets and will not be pickking the Dolphins to win any games this season. Until they win a game how can you pick them to win Craig?

Vegas opened us as a two point favorite.

By the way finfaneurope,

We're 0-5. That means the best we can do is 11-5. I won't insult your intelligence to infer that you actually believe that could ever happen.

In the AFC East, you must win AT LEAST 11 games to have a chance to make the Playoffs.

That means in all probability we have absolutely ZERO chance to make the Playoffs in 2011.

So please explain what winning will do? Other than get us a later Draft pick, which hasn't brought much talent to this team in the past (Vontae Davis, Jared Odrick, wouldn't call them superstars or even playmakers).

If you've got your toes hanging over a cliff, the smartest move is to take a step back.

Think about that and then let's talk.

Trying to lose every game this year in an ATTEMPT to TRY and draft an UNPROVEN QB is a LOSERS mentality.

Posted by: Steve in the LC

That's the whole point! Lemonade when you've got an overabundance of lemons.

You would think that the comparison of the Colts with and without Manning would be proof of the importance of the quarterback position. How could Ireland, for all the money he makes, be so clueless?

Anyone hear that invilid, KeyShawn Johnson in the pregame? Saying that Parcells left & we've been downhill since?

He said we have no accountability since he left. Really? Like he didn't leave to excape accountability for his sh*tty acquisitions?

Keyshawn said Parcells left us above .500. Really? He left after a 7-9 season and on the brink of another one. Above .500 Keysawhn, really?

Just throw him a damn brain!

What everyone is forgetting is they aren't TRYING to lose. They DON'T WANT TO LOSE. And they don't HAVE TO TRY TO LOSE.

They lose because they don't know how to win. And if that leads to Andrew Luck then so be it.

Spiderman, Craig's only picking them here. I doubt he would pick Miami in any game this year if he had money on it. I know I wouldn't, unless I was a billionaire and just wanted to burn money. And Craig seems to me to be an intelligent guy, so don't buy it that he really thinks we'll win, it's probably more hope than believing.

For those of you that didn't get to see the Jim Rome / Andrew Luck interview.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opMp--BVg7g

Yeah Carlitos and what's even more funny about that is the fact that Sunday we might witness two teams TRYING to LOSE the game for the first time at week 7 in NFL history. I'm placing my bets on Sparano knowing how to better lose a game.

On a side note I was listening to ESPN radio yesterday and for some reason ESPN allows local sports hosts to have time at the end of the day. Here in upstate NY the Jets fans have crawled out from under the rocks they've been hiding under for 30 years and act as if their team has done something significant.

The show host is your typical moron Jets fan. Talks with a stupid accent and lisp and just sounds completely uneducated. You can tell the guy is obese because you can hear him breathing heavy into the mic after he says a few words. Either he's out of shape or he's trying to eat the mic.

But he went off on the Dolphins. It was the least professional thing I have ever heard in my 30 years of listening and watching sportscasters. It wasn't just "they're a bad team right now" kind of stuff. He was mispronouncing Sparano and Dabolls names on purpose the entire time. (Spamoni and DaBull) which isn't even close to being funny. He was making fun of Clyde Gates and didn't realize he was a rookie but saying things much worse. It was like listening to a 10 year old talk about a hated rival. And he actually said he was "embarrassed for the Jets because they had to play such a crappy team".

Needless to say I laughed my a** off while also wanting to drive to the studio and punch a hole in this POS's face. He acted as if the Jets were a great team and were going to springboard from this win into the playoffs. Never before have I heard more of a clueless fan and this guy gets two hours on ESPN radio?!!!!!

Finally, and thank God I heard this, he announced that he and his crew would be at a local sports bar this week to watch the Jets game and hand out prizes.

Guess where I'm going this Sunday? Can't f**king wait.

sparano has been terrible since he got here. penne was the "coach" when he won(sqeaked by) 11 games against sub par competition. in 2009 and 2010 sparano's teams quit well before the end of the season,showing obvious "cracks" in the foundation. sparano has been "testy" with the media and cant seem to answer any simple questions. who can possibly understand his mumbo-jumbo?

this is by far the biggest game of the year, we are favored in this. we better find a way to lose or we could cost ourselves dearly in the luck hope. please keep sprano on till end of season so we can keep losing. 11 more to go for ANDREW LUCK

It's true that the #1 pick doesn't guaranty a home run and I've heard that argument plenty. But please consider this. Only once in the past 30 years has a QB come out rated this highly by the experts who study this stuff for a living.

And that pick WAS a home run named Elway. I like those odds.

Joe Keyshawn is Parcell's little brown noser and always has been. Keyshawn tried so hard to get Parcell's to love him and make him one of "his guys". When he got that validation he just started blindly following the man. Weak minded people love to follow a strong personality because they aren't and never will be leaders. They need validation and structure, can't do it for themselves. That is Keyshawn, you're absolutely right, brainless.

Not surprised at all at his continued blind loyalist ways.

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