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Not Naughty by Nature: You down with Ohhh and 16?

I told everyone in my column following the Dolphins latest loss that the team was bordering on joke material, that it might not be long before the late night comics latched on to the Dolphins' struggles and use them for giggles.

Well, a local Miami comedian has beaten them to the punch.

Hialeah's own Will Lopez, whose twitter page says he is the lead singer for the group "Guajiro" (if you're not Cuban, nevermind), has put together a little ditty about the Dolphins road the rest of the season. Lopez apparently is set on that road leading to Andrew Luck.

And, of course, the quickest way to get to Luck is to go 0-16. Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, 0-16:

 

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hilarious!

Here's another candidate for HC....ME!

I would promise to come on this blog once a week and take advice from the posters (not promising I'd actually heed the advice though).

And I can speak in understandable sentences, so I already have a leg up on Sparano.

Interested?

the phans/owner
2 watt/gm
dc/hc
aloco/quality control coach.lol

I liked it when Gruden totally dissed the collective bargaining rule where players have 4 days off during a bye week & when a QB is injured the coach can't get the back-up practice time to get him ready. If I'm a player on offense I get my teammates together on those 4 days and practice. That is if you really want to win.

LipsinToronto,

you don't root for a loss watching the game! Of course not.

Take the game vs the jets: enjoy the first half when we play well enough to win, but don't ruin your life when the team collapses. Think of the delicious lemonade that we'll make from the seemingly endless avalanche of lemons. YUM.

Maybe this song should be played at Joe Robbie Stadium every time the OTHER team scores.

NO CHANGE YET, front office blows it again.

when miami has a RARE oppourtunity to create an advantage for itself, to take the proverbial "first step" in turning a bad situation into a win/win situation, they just continue to blunder. ryan mallet would have been the safety valve win scenario should andrew luck scenario NOT be attainable. i can't believe they didn't even attempt a trade for ryan mallet to have a WIN scenario in place as the season unfolds and we enter the offseason. if miami does not get andrew luck, it can very well be scrounging around at the last minute, settling instead of dominating. in miami's INABILITY to take advantage of a rare oppourtunity in mallet it has frivilously discarded the chance to create it's own winning fallback option, upgrade the QB position and depth, the ability to upgrade the reciever with the first round pick should luck be unavailable or mallet proove to be that good, it also chose to ignore all the advantages that having your rookie QB through the entire offseason would create. mallet has a leg up above all other rookie QB's in that he has been schooled by the smartest QB ever to pick up a football(brady), his competition IS brady, the bar is set to the highest degree. mallet would have given miami the ability to start the 2012 season off as a contender and provided miami the ability to use it's 2012 first rounder on reciever, mallet WAS the first step and fallback win/win scenario, like i said, they blew it!

No more RETREADS for Miami Dolphins head coach/gm.Please take a moment to recollect the hype about this men. Jimmy Johnson,Dave Wannsted,Bill Parcels.Now remember the aftermaths of each one of them.Cowher,Gruden and Fisher are MORE RETREADS. I thank Nick Saban for internally realizing that he had set Our team back by choosing Culpepper over Brees and abandoning ship. Perhaps a collegiate coach paired with Andruw Luck would be best!

We are not going to get Luck. Ireland will trade our first round pick next week to reacquire Ted Ginn. Like Cameron he will say "we are trading for the whole Ginn family"!!!!

I am a die hard Dolphins fan,but watching these games is very painful.The coaching stinks,our players can't make plays when needed,and it looks like they are just going through the motions.A coaching change was needed after last season.Very embarassing time to be a fan of this team.

Dolphins Sign Safety Gerald Alexander:

2007 2nd rd selection of the Detroit Lions. 2008 the Lions went 0-16. 2010 Alexander played for the Carolina Panthers. Panthers had 1st overall pick this year.

It's official folks, we're shooting for 0-16 or at least 1st overall 2012 pick. 1st overall draft selections seems to follow this this guy.

Still not convinced? See Matt Moore(Cam Newton). Both Moore and Alexander helped the Panthers to 1st overall pick 2011. Andrew Luck here we come!

Armando,

AGAIN, WE'RE NOT SUCKING FOR LUCK. WE JUST PLAIN SUCK. PERIOD!

THERE MAYBE A TEAM OR TWO OUT THERE PURPOSELY SUCKING FOR LUCK. BUT IT SURE ISNT US.

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Would Dan Marino be interested in a coaching job? Why be a talking head or a car salesman if you can go back to the game that made you?

He may not become a winning coach right away, but with the love this town have for him, we would be patient and he would bring passion and what he learned from Shula.

We need to get him a good defensive coordinator that hates the prevent defense.

Just toying with the idea

yesterday give it up. you are only irritating the bloggers with that crap.

Luck is a smart guy - personally I feel the really smart players make the best QB's I believe Luck would be the first patch in this sinking ship, however as stated many times above Luck has not yet decided to enter the draft or stay in school. He seems driven so he would probably finish his degree. Why should he be in a hurry to join the NFL. Sure the Fins are the worst bunch in the NFL but if he chooses to stay in school he will be drafted by the worst team next year. I believe if Ross wants Luck he is going to sell him this is a serious organization - the first thing he needs to do toward that goal is hire a proven coach and GM - someone who has a reputation for rebuilding a crappy team into a great team (like Tuna LOL). It doesn't seem this team is filled with the worst players in the league (maybe several but not all) it just seems they forgot how to play football OR they just don't want to work for Sparano and crew.

The Alexander signing could mean Clemons probably not returning anytime soon. No big loss. Only problem is Jones sucks just as much.

...Dying Breed. What was up with that??

I would hope that if we play poorly enough to earn the right to the number one pick. That the regime would not mess around with any ideas of not drafting Andrew Luck. If he decides to stay in school perhaps they could entertain offers for trades. But if Luck does come out. He is clearly the number one pick. No shenanigans..Make the pick, and rebuild this bombed out building.

I love Marino as much as anyone, but there's zero reason to think he'd be an effective coach, not to mention he's never spent so much as a minute coaching at any level.

This is something I often see fans doing. Thinking that greatness on the field translates into coaching ability. It does not, and never has. If it did, Bart Starr would have done great as Packers coach...Dwight Stephenson would have succeeded as an OL assistant with the Dolphins, and on and on.

Take a look at the great coaches in league history. Most were marginal players (like Shula, Noll, etc.) who got by more on brains than physical ability. They also had very lengthy resumes as assistants long before ever getting a shot at the top job.

Besides, why on Earth would Marino give up his lucrative and cushy job as a television analyst for the pressure cooker of being an NFL head coach---especially one with no experience at all?

I'm sure he loves the team, but not enough to be classified as insane!

big game this week, we cannot afford to win this one

11crazyJenson and JAM, Marc Trestman is AWESOME. Montreal would miss him, but Miami would LOVE HIM. He could win his 3rd Grey Cup this year. I don't care what league you coach, if you win 3 titles it's NOT ONLY VERY IMPRESSIVE but also very DIFFICULT. He's my second pick after Cowher. His players PLAY HARD for him. Do you see any of our players playing hard for their coach?

sombody needs to take a baseball bat to our kickers nees.

marc trestman,loooooooooooooooooooooool uh no thanks

remember ross is making the choice, hes hiring carl peterson to do it. whos carls 3 coaches that are his friends. herm edwards (no) dick vermeil (retired) and cowher. he will want to hire cowher, only have to seel ross on cowher hiring an exciting ocord and that is rumored to be charlie weiss

dusty, you can laugh, but it's the truth. How did guys with proven track records like Jimmy Johnson, Nick Saban, and Bill Parcells work out for you?

uh first off parcells was never the coach here u silly sob. saban had zero track record in the nfl u silly sob. and jimmy failed cause he hated marino

Ok, now I'm pissed. What the H*LL does a team need to do to be 32 in the Power Rankings? Geesh. On espn.com we're 30, on nfl.com we're 31. GODD*AMN, are ANY of those people watching these games.

Look, Indy still has a great offense minus ONE player. And the guy is starting to come around. He'll win a game or two.

And Rams, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? They haven't had their best player in weeks (I think Jackson came back last week). They've still got a #1 Draft pick QB (who they have high hopes in). They just got Brandon Lloyd. I see that as a team on the way up.

Neither of those organizations is dysfunctional. Neither of them has AS ineffective a HC as Sparano. I haven't heard that it's a definite EITHER of those HC's will be fired end of Season like the entire world knows Sparano will be (if he isn't fired sooner).

So, what gives? If anything, Colts haven't had a bye, so they're 0-6, fine. But in nfl.com, they have us 31 and Rams 32. THAT'S A TRAVESTY!!!

WE SHOULD BE 32! Let's petition nfl.com.

Yes, at this point, their is definately no intent - we just plain suck. And quite frankly, even if we are in contention for the first pick over all late in the season, this team will find a way to lose and win the last 4 games. Just like it was noted above, by the end of the game, we can't win - not even at sucking.

By the end of the season, I believe the Broncos will prove to be the NFL's worst team and have that #1 pick sewed up.

Is that what I want? No. But you look at their roster and it's just abysmal. I think Miami beats them Sunday, too.

Not going to worry about it, either way. Nothing we say or do impacts the actual results one bit and we are powerless to do anything about who winds up with that pick. All you can do is sit back and let the chips fall where they may.

DC: So the three way race to the bottom between us, Indy and Rams may get more interesting now that Tebow is at the helm. If he tanks this season, then the Tebow experiment is over and expect Elway and company to start looking for a new QB in the draft. Elway met with Luck last year, remember? I'm not proposing we should tank just for Luck. I'm looking at the top 3-4 QB prospects as a whole (Luck, Jones, Barkley, Griffin, or whoever rises this season). If Rams should get in the top 4 draft picks, I can see several teams mortgaging their future drafts and current roster to make a deal with them since they have more pressing needs than QB.

dusty, why the insults? Parcells was IN CHARGE of everything and he's the reason why we suck. Saban was the hottest name on the market, he had turned down how many NFL teams?? And Johnson sucked because he couldn't draft any good offensive players, not because of Marino. Get your facts straight before insulting me for no reason. You should grow up a little.

Dolphin Fan in Montreal,

we couldn't bear the thought of Montreal pining for Trestman. There's no point in any selfishness on our part. Trestman can stay. That's okay. Thanks for the kind thought.

cosmodo, while Luck is definitely my first choice, I'd be happy with any of those QBs (except Barkley, he's the worst of that bunch). Griffin would be great, Jones would be great. Either way, we're DEFINITELY going to be drafting 1, 2 or 3.

Guys, we can win 1, MAYBE 2 games. Rams will win more games coming up, wait and see (remember the division they are in). And I'm predicting Indy wins 2 games. So we can beat Denver. BUT THAT'S IT!!! We don't want to risk winning another game.

Moore almost went down Monday. That's when it gets very interesting in Miami. Sage Rosenfels and then...the practice squad rookie, lol.

It must suck to be Sparano right now. Really suck. If he had of left after Ross lifted his leg and peed on him, it would show he had balls and maybe some talent. Everything would have been hung on Ireland. But now everything is hung on him and Sparano will probably have a tough time getting on any team next year because his lack of coaching skill is painfully obvious.

Sometimes having pride does pay.

I seen Ginn actually run into some people last week. (he also ran out of bounds like a wee bunny but he did run into people. ) There is totally something wrong with this franchise, Something totally beyond what we are seeing.

ralph, you guys don't need to worry about Trestman, our owner will hire Eric Mangini instead. Now that's an UPGRADE over Trestman, no question. LOL!!

I'm down with firing Tony and Jeff at half time on Sunday. This team has become a JOKE.

Jokes make jokes of this team.

Agree DC. Luck first, with Jones and Griffin looking interesting. Not sold on Barkley either.

I'm actually down with that Mangenius stuff. He has got to be better than Tony.

didnt insuly u u silly sob. u just had your facts wrong. dont leave out the vikes, they are awful and now starting ponder at qb

luck is easily the choice. but landry and barkley should be good pros also. no way on griffin

Tony is a dead man walking. Why won't he just quit Mando? At least Wanny had the balls to check his ego at the door and quit.

This organization needs a wake up call! The only wake up call I see working would be for Tony to quit or for Tony to get fired THIS YEAR.

Wake these nutless bunch of buffoons up Mr. Ross!

And Ireland would be on a one games notice after this season. If we lose the first game next season, Ireland is on a ship back to Ireland. Get his punk arse out of here after this season.

I know this has been raised before but someone needs to explain one facet of 'Suck for Luck' better, and it's this:

If you WANT the team to be terrible, then what the hell are you bitching about when they ARE?? Seriously, a few of you seem to be doing both things at the same time.

If you want the first pick (and I'm not suggesting you shouldn't) then I'd think you'd be absolutely DELIGHTED to see the team playing miserably, unless you know of some other magical formula for getting that pick.

Just find that really strange, that's all.

Ask Rich Gannon what he thinks of Marc Trestman. Had an MVP year. I guess he doesn't suck that bad. But I guess you didn't know that dusty. I'm posting facts. You're not. Which of my facts are wrong? Just curious.

Bill Cowher would make sense. But nothing about this team makes sense. I'll believe it when I see it.

@trey

Because they will try to win games. Not sure if they can but they will try. If Ireland and or Tony are here next year we will not draft a QB.

This front office is stuck on Henne. They will ryde or die with Henne in the drivers seat.

That's why I say they both need to be GHOST this year and not next year.

IT IS THE BEST IDEA TO GET A COACH FROM THE CANADIA FOOTBALL LEGUE. I HAVE BEEN WATCHING EVERY WEEK ON THE NFL NETWORK THEY SHOW IT ON SATURDAY AND IT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN BORING NFL WITH THERE FAT LAZY PLAYERS AND DISRESPETFUL FANS OF AMERICA.,.IS IS MORE EXCITING AND THE PLAYERS ARE FAST AND PLAY HARDER THAN NFL. FAN OF MONTREAL I AM ROOTING FOR THE HAMITON CAT TIGERS NOW BUT ALSO THERE ARE OTHER GOOD TEAMS I HAVE SEE LIKE THE CAGARY STOMPERS AND ALSO THE MONTREAL TEAM YOU HAVE BUT I FORGOT THERE NAME.///YES THE DOLPHINS SHOULD DO THIS!

The fact that we have no pass rush will work out for us strategically. By default, our D linemen will 'stay home' and Tebow will be forced to pass.

We will inadvertantly exploit Tebow's weakness.

A brother owner wouldn't put up with this BS that's for sure. A brother owner would have Ireland and Sparano pistol whipped by now.

Old school owners only want your hard earned cash going toward tickets and NFL gear. A brother owner would want to win a superbowl.

with sparano coaching the team, ireland working the gm duties, and parcells blowing in their ear from wherever he is, there should be little difficulty going 0-16. this is probably one of the weakest nfl teams ever assembled. they don't lose because they want to, they lose because they are not good enough to win. so, intended or not, suck for luck is the only thing more interesting this year than what celebrity steve ross will sign up to sing at halftime.

Trestman is not a bad candidate IMO. He is one of those guys like McCarthy in GB...has hung around the league for years waiting for a chance. Coached up some good offenses and QB's that seemed better when he showed up...Kosar in CLE (and the U), Plummer in AZ, Gannon, etc.

Guys with success, guys ready for a new opportunity, guys that show leadership and can actually come up with innovations on the field. And that can coach YOUNG PLAYERS that a REBUILDING team is likely to have. And bring some energy to job and the organization.

That's why a guy like Trestman would make some sense. Ditto for Joe Philbin (GB) and Jay Gruden (CIN). All worth at least an interview I would think. Jay Grudin could surprise people and be one of the next solid young head coaches some day soon, like when his brother Jon showed up in Oakland.

Robert Kraft---Democrat.
Dan Rooney-----Democrat.
Joe Robbie-----Democrat.

Ross and Huizenga-----Republicans.

it kinda like a win-win or lose- lose lol. If we Win we Win, if we Lose we Win, but if we Win we may Lose. Im almost as confused as Jeff Ireland.

I have read in numerous posts not only on here but in other places that fans don't want any retread Coaches and they mention, Cowher, Gruden, fisher, Johnson, Parcels, Whinesdate, etc in the same breath.

Everyone can express thier opinions which I respect and here is my opinion on this.


There's nothing wrong with the retread coaches the problem is with the GM and the tools which they draft for the HC to have.

This team after the season ends does NOT need to experiment with hiring ANY Collage Coaches. No experimenting with any Asst coaches out there in the NFL and making them a HC. No experimenting hiring any coordinators and making them a HC.

We need a PROVEN and EXPERIANCED and SOLID Head Coach. THAT coach is COWHER.

COWHER has ALL the credentials of a winner. COWHER has ALL the records to prove he can get the job done.

I posted this many times before and will continue for those who may not have the facts and figures.

Here are comparisons between Gruden, Fisher and COWHER.

There is NO comparison as COWHER HASX what it takes. The Math does not lie.

Enjoy.

Jeff Fisher's record below.

Career record

142-120-0 (Regular season)
5-6 (Postseason)
147-126-0 (Overall)

Championships won
1999 AFC Championship

GRUDEN aka Chucky Record below:

95–81–0 (Regular Season)
5–4 (Postseason)
100–85–0 (Overall)

Now, here are numbers that you cant argue with.

BILL COWHER aka THE JAW record below:

Super Bowl XL victory (2005)

2 AFC Championship victories (1995, 2005)

AP NFL Coach of the Year (1992)

2× Sporting News NFL Coach of the Year (1992, 2004)

149–90–1 (regular season record)

12–9 (playoff record)

161–99–1 (overall record)


In Cowher’s 15 seasons, the Steelers captured eight division titles, earned ten postseason playoff berths, played in 21 playoff games, advanced to six AFC Championship games and made two Super Bowl appearances.

He is one of only six coaches in NFL history to claim at least seven division titles.

At the conclusion of the 2005 season, the Pittsburgh Steelers had the best record of any team in the National Football League since Cowher was hired as head coach.

Now folks... If you don't like COWHER that's fine BUT you can NOT argue that COWHER IS the best choice for the Dolphin's as he has a proven record and TODAY, Mike Tomlin reps from what COWHER built with the Rooney family backing him up.

This is a no brainier.. COWHER IS the first choice. Give him the tools and guaranteed the Fins will be turned around as one of the best Teams in the NFL since Shula.

Fisher and Gruden or whoever else is out there that you want to throu in and is availiable cant hold the apron strings for Cowher as there is just no comparison whatsoever..

The numbers don't lie.

Mike Tomlin already has as many Super Bowl titles and a better overall winning percentage in four years as it took Cowher 15 to accomplish.

NOT knocking Cowher (nor do I think he'd be a bad choice) but the Steelers may be the most stable organization in the NFL. I think a LOT of guys could go into that operation and win steadily.

Anyone who would root for this team to win 5 games instead of 0 to 2 is a terrible fan. All of you "pride" fans get over your holier than thou selves (including you Mando). This team is horrible and I was rooting for the Jets last game even though I hate them as much as the rest of you. We need Luck or Jones. Keep Sparano all season because he's doing a heck of a job losing. I live in Denver and everyone I know except one guy who has season tickets is rooting for them to tank and the only way they'll laugh at me (us) is if they manage to beat us out in the Luck sweepstakes. Get a clue some of you and look at the long term picture.


rich gannon,lol yeah that had nothing to do with gruden u silly sob. trestman wasnt the head coach, u said head coach for trestman, and yes that is hilarious

kyle were they stable when cowher took over in pitt?

People are free to root for OR against the Dolphins as they see fit.

Really sick of these people taking it upon themselves to decide who is the "better" fan or not based on their own desires. Who the hell elected you King of Fans?

For the record, I WANT that first pick. But it's not my job to tell anyone else they're a "bad fan" just vbecause they want their team to win.

Grow the hell up.

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