« The most amazing Miami Dolphins factoid of the day | Main | Get your Friday afternoon update here »

Birthday gifts from the Dolphins to ... me!

Yesterday was my birthday. I was born November 3, 1962. You do the math, if you can.

Anyway, I just got done opening up all the gifts the Dolphins got me this year. They're such a wonderful group, these big palookas. I've covered them since 1990 and they always reward my annual passing of time with gifts galore.

This year was no different. So let me share with you what I got from the Dolphins for my birthday:

From cornerback Vontae Davis and running back Daniel Thomas: Advice on how to condition my hamstrings.

From linebacker Kevin Burnett: That loud stereo he always plays in the locker room, which by total coincidence he turns up every single time any media is in the locker room so as to screw up everyone's interviews.

From linebacker Jason Taylor: A mirror. He's got thousands.

From right tackle Marc Colombo: A free pass to quarterback Matt Moore. I thought it was a special gift until I noticed he gives away a lot of these.

From receiver Brandon Marshall: Some of that extra gravity that follows him everywhere. He last used it against the Jets when it inexplicably carried him from the middle of the field to the sideline and out of bounds.

From defensive end Phillip Merling: His game day uniform. He hasn't used it lately and my guess is he won't need it much the rest of the season.

From guard Vernon Carey: Diet tips. I need them. And he hasn't been using them lately, anyway.

From receiver Clyde Gates: An onfield exhibition of his alleged speed which I have yet to see in an actual game.

From linebacker Koa Misi: Oh, didn't get anything from him. Haven't seen him in a long, long time.

From the entire rest of the organization: Plane tickets to the playoffs. They know they won't need them.

From coach Tony Sparano: The unvarnished truth, for once, about how terrible his players are playing.

From GM Jeff Ireland: Jeff? Where are you, Jeff? Jeff? It's my birthday, man!

From owner Stephen Ross: A job. This organization will have many coming open very soon.

[VIDEO ANNOUNCEMENT: It is a Football Fanatic Friday on Armando and the Amigo today. Alonzo Highsmith, Bernie Kosar and Sean Salisbury will be joining the show today. We can be heard on 640-AM in South Florida and seen if you click here as a LIVE streaming videocast. You can participate -- agree or disagree -- by texting the show, chiming in on the live chat, or calling the show toll free from anywhere in the United States at 1-888-640-9385.]

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b26169e20154369ff005970c

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Birthday gifts from the Dolphins to ... me!:

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Happy birthday...Feliz cumpleaños...i wish an answer from sparano about Colombus and the use of TE

hahahaha mando, happy bday man, u made my day with this!

what happened to yeah

Ghost of Joe... Yeah was a computer program. That was posted a few months ago. The program was taken off a work computer. Some nerd with nothing better to do.

Carey has grown quite large. I guess he has been eating pizza instead of steak. No more Atkins diet for him. Big pay cut and he can't afford it.

Happy Birthday.

Happy birthday Armando, you're still fat.

Happy Birthday Armando! I enjoy you show.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMANDO .53 STILL YOUNG AT HEART /

Happy Birthday Armando,enjoy all your gifts from the "suck for luck" gang!!

Happy birthday, funny man!
:-)

Happy Birthday Mando!! Keep up the good work sir!

Happy Birthday!
My gift is coming next April.

Happy 49th birthday Mando. Must be rough covering a team that is out of shape and no heart.

you would think on your birthday maybe you would have grown up by now. terrible post. you probably consider your self a realist, but far from the case your a pessimistic piece of garbage

great post truth sets you free, couldn't have said it better myself, armando is a joke, maybe when the dolphins clean house the miami herald should follow suit

happy birthday brotha man

Happy Birthday old man. You look good for your advanced age, though.

Hey Mando, I gave you a football, remember? I threw it to you when you were wearing the Chiefs jersey?

Best one yet Mando. Tips on how to condition my hamstring. Classic.

PS...I ain't far behind you.

I would think Marshall would have given you some explosives. He seem to leave plenty of explosiveness on the field.

Yeah, I'm sure all the guys you named will be happy to talk to you now.

Happy birthday old man (and I do mean OLD)!!!

You'll get LOTS of presents on the blog today. You'll get a poster predicting we'll win (using the unusual mental jujitsu of saying said opponent is not a good team, and completely ignoring the fact that OUR team is MUCH, MUCH worse).

You'll get a poster trying to make the 49'ers the blueprint for how we turn this thing around:

"Yeah, look at what they're doing. We can do that here. Henne's just as good as Alex Smith, so he could flip the switch and be a good game manager. And we just need a Frank Gore RB (let's get Richardson with our 1st pick in the Draft). And then improve the oline. And get some stout LBs and a better secondary and we can be 6-1 too."

You'll get the poster complaining that we've been too hard on Sparano, that he's really not that bad of a HC ("look at the terrible players he's working with. What, Buffalo is winning with worse players, sorry, I can't hold two contradicting views in my head at one time, I'll just ignore that piece of information.")

And of course you'll get the poster that heard from a wino beggar at the stoplight, who heard from his crackhead girlfriend's brother, who used to live in WV, where Andrew Luck's dad works, that Andrew Luck won't play for Miami if they Draft him next year (even though he'll be the highest paid player from the Draft and get to live in a tropical climate all year round.

Gifts abound Mando! You're a lucky man!

Were you drunk when you wrote that?

Tequila, I'm guessing. Tequila always made me feel invincible too.

Disassemble? No disassemble!

Happy b day. Hopefully ross will give all the fans whos b days have come and are coming up the greatest gift, and that is pink slips to the whole staff!

DC, KC should beware the trap game here. Yes, I do believe Miami can win here. Unlike others, I do put my money where my mouth is. And notice the game line has moved from 5 to 4 points already. I'm not the only one ...

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday Mando.

Weird that I feel like the lockout hasn't been lifted yet. I'm still waiting for Dolphins' football. In a lot of ways I've been waiting since Ricky Williams retired the first time. That was the last time I was excited about Dolphins football.

Happy Birthday Mando, good write up! Did occupy Miami give you some laziness and a sense of entitlement as a gift?

should i start Cassel over Rothesberger this week?

I hate to do it, but I think I have to start Cassel.

The gift from Colombo was a little bit less festive than the others. He's given up less sacks than Long. C'Mon man! Not cool.

A RUMOR THAT IS VERY HOT .... MIKE NOLAN ON HIS WAY OUT .....

ortega , some plaYERS NEVER GIVE ONE SACK BUT IN OUR TEAM WE R HAPPY THAT COLOMBO GAVE 7 SACKS ALREADY WHICH'S LESS THAN LONG ................

Happy birthday Armando...All the best to you and your family. Speaking of birthday present, how would you like a win against KC? Yeah right!!!

ALoco, where did you read this? Why would they fire Nolan?

NOLAN WILL RESIGN,THE GUY HAS INTEGRITY ,NOT LIKE THE REST OF THEM. THEY R WAITING TO BR FIRED ,SO THEY GET THE CONTRACT MONEY .

Happy birthday Mando! You should also get a fist pump from coach Sparano (after our pee wee offense scores a couple of FGs in K.C.)...

i hope you feel better.....i dont. i am not sure whats worse, watching my beloved fins struggle through another rough season, or reading your increasingly childish blog about it. because the season is in the crapper, you dont need to report anymore? only a couple days ago you released a waste of time blog entry about how you refuse discuss who people date because you do "big boy things" when you report, and then we get this?!?! talking about carey being fat? i have been a loyal reader of the blog for years but i am very close to never coming back as your tone and perspective have become increasingly, self absorbed, condescending, and childish. i want to think that the cause is your radio show. hopefully, you are just using up all of your intelligent comments and insight on air, and not that you have just run out of them all together. however, since your show began i have noticed a distinct drop in quality on your blog and it seems it only exists as a forum for you to vent about how the team has wronged you or failed to recognize your profound insight or some break through in the gift shop. but if its not that, its some self promoting plug restating every salient point of an article that you want us to also go and read, and follow you on twitter, and guess what...listen to your show, which you will remind about for the millionth time.

well, i will sum it up as this. i believe that this blog is the key to your recent success. there are a LOT of finatics that like me, love the fins and are ravenous for any information that pertains to the team. this blog has given a home to all of us that are looking for updates and "insider" information. you have mentioned that the success of this blog dwarfs that of the herald's other blogs, and i think that has as much to do with the dolphins fan base as it does your prose, charm and wit. if the herald gave the blog to another journalist, i think it would still be as successful. i am not trying to knock you because i like you and i have read for years. i trying to tell you that you are capable of be better. if you were able to get a radio show because you showed the station your blog hits and said "look at my fanbase!", just remember what got you there. if you stop giving the blog and us loyal readers your best effort, one day you wont have anyone reading it.

ps- i would guess the majority of us loyal readers arent even in south florida (and therefore we follow the team online) so give the radio show plugs a rest....we are not going to be able to tune in...

still a loyal reader (for now)
-swedish phish

Happy Birthday! Hopefully for your 50th the organization can get you a franchise QB.

Lol so many people have his age wrong 2011-1962 = 49....next year in 2012 he'll be 50 as 62 + 50 = 112 (2012 in this case) c'mon people this is simple math....I want a bday gift from Sean smith: his hands since he doesn't use them

Mando, lol,,,Id check under my car hood if I were you buddy. This may have been the last straw,,lol,,,I do need a mirror tho. And pay no attention to "Swedish phish", what ever that is.

I'm not going to rip Armando as a few people have already done that and quite frankly I just don't care enough about this team anymore. A few of the lines were uncalled for but most of them were right on.

But I will say this as sort of a response to the swedish fish post. One of the big reasons for this blogs popularity over all of the other Dolphins blogs is accessibility.

You can get in and out very easy and the writer is actually available via e-mail and even comes in once and a while to talk. The blog also does not discriminate. It's almost an anything goes type of situation in here.

Compare it to Omars blog. You don't read the posts in order, rather you're forced to read through every single post to see peoples responses because you are supposed to respond to specific posts within the same post. It's just a mess over there and doesn't flow as well as in here.

And then you have Joe Rose. They ask for comments and then don't even print them! Thanks for wasting our time Joe!

And take your pick on the number of blogs who police the site with an iron fist. They make you feel as if you're back in grade school, no where close to being an adult or allowed to talk freely.

If the other blogs were set up exactly like this one people would have better choices and be able to switch at any time. Armando and his people have struck gold with this format and it's amazing that others don't follow their lead. Maybe they're too stubborn but as they walk around with their heads in the sand the Herald blog is kicking all of their a**es.

HAPPY 52 YEAR BIRTHDAY manado. .

Happy 49th Armando I hit 40 on the 2nd of this month.

chris 563, post of the day at 10:29!!!

Can anyone tell me how the married life is? I'm with a women and Im not so sure Im ready for it I love her but you know how it is. I'snt there something about never having sex with another women you men miss?

Jeez Kevin Burnett is such an a hole. First he wants to beat up Omar, now turning up music loud while reporters try and do their jobs.

Spider,
Depends on the woman man....I am on number two and my wife is fantastic....

Sometimes, it is "sex" you'll miss...LOL.

Burnett is acting like a d*kk cause he's tired of hearing and reading how much he sucks...Truth hurts I guess...

Everytime I read about a football player who tried to fight with a media member I can't help to think about that interview with QB Jim "Chris" Everett and Jim Rome. What a classic! LOL!!

Phins should give you a draft pick. You couldn't do worse than them. Let's see playmaker (Ryan, Bryant, Graham, Hernandez)...nope.....take a lineman.....(Long, Odrick, Jerry). All you have to do is draft a play maker instead of a lineman and you beat the Play if Safe Boys.

Spider, that's why strippers exist.

haha, Montreal!

"Call me Chris one more time!!"

"Ok Chris"

POWWW!

Mark,

Unless a stripper can engage in sex with you, it's just a big tease.

Mark, I just youtube'd it again...LMFAO! Rome is such a little weezle...

Happy birthday Mando.
I like the format and for the most part like the blogs. Seems like this is a tough point in the season to take him to task for a lack of seriousness, when the current state of the franchise is kind of a joke.

Spiderman, I worked in the business for 4 years...As a driver. Trust me, it can happen...

Its a scienctific fact then men get tired of pleasure from their wife or person they have sex with a bunch. Thast why men cheat. This is why men dread marrying.

#1 Montreal, a driver?? well, what wife likes their husband to go to a strip place.

Con todo respeto y reconocimiento a uno de los columnistas y cronistas deportivos de profundo compromiso, profesionalismo, paciencia y sentido del humor, FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS.

With all due respect and recognition of one of the columnists and sportswriters of deep commitment, professionalism, patience and sense of humor, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDO! YOU´RE MY FAVORITE MEXICAN JOURNALIST!!
I LOVE YOU!

1 2 3 4 »

The comments to this entry are closed.