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Birthday gifts from the Dolphins to ... me!

Yesterday was my birthday. I was born November 3, 1962. You do the math, if you can.

Anyway, I just got done opening up all the gifts the Dolphins got me this year. They're such a wonderful group, these big palookas. I've covered them since 1990 and they always reward my annual passing of time with gifts galore.

This year was no different. So let me share with you what I got from the Dolphins for my birthday:

From cornerback Vontae Davis and running back Daniel Thomas: Advice on how to condition my hamstrings.

From linebacker Kevin Burnett: That loud stereo he always plays in the locker room, which by total coincidence he turns up every single time any media is in the locker room so as to screw up everyone's interviews.

From linebacker Jason Taylor: A mirror. He's got thousands.

From right tackle Marc Colombo: A free pass to quarterback Matt Moore. I thought it was a special gift until I noticed he gives away a lot of these.

From receiver Brandon Marshall: Some of that extra gravity that follows him everywhere. He last used it against the Jets when it inexplicably carried him from the middle of the field to the sideline and out of bounds.

From defensive end Phillip Merling: His game day uniform. He hasn't used it lately and my guess is he won't need it much the rest of the season.

From guard Vernon Carey: Diet tips. I need them. And he hasn't been using them lately, anyway.

From receiver Clyde Gates: An onfield exhibition of his alleged speed which I have yet to see in an actual game.

From linebacker Koa Misi: Oh, didn't get anything from him. Haven't seen him in a long, long time.

From the entire rest of the organization: Plane tickets to the playoffs. They know they won't need them.

From coach Tony Sparano: The unvarnished truth, for once, about how terrible his players are playing.

From GM Jeff Ireland: Jeff? Where are you, Jeff? Jeff? It's my birthday, man!

From owner Stephen Ross: A job. This organization will have many coming open very soon.

[VIDEO ANNOUNCEMENT: It is a Football Fanatic Friday on Armando and the Amigo today. Alonzo Highsmith, Bernie Kosar and Sean Salisbury will be joining the show today. We can be heard on 640-AM in South Florida and seen if you click here as a LIVE streaming videocast. You can participate -- agree or disagree -- by texting the show, chiming in on the live chat, or calling the show toll free from anywhere in the United States at 1-888-640-9385.]

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Spiderman, this was in the mid 90's...Wasn't married back then...I was in my mid 20's and the last thing on my mind was getting married...I just wanted to get laid...

Spider, if a girl takes a liking to you, and if you "take care of her", it will happen.

Montreal, just youtube'd it myself too. Rome is a weasel. I wonder if it was set up though because Chris, I mean Jim, had that weird smile on his face the whole time.

Pretty good qb though back in his time that Everett. Not great but compared to what we've had for the last 15 years ...

I have yet to here fromm any guys here saying how great being married is. I guess it sucks

I don't know about that being a scientific fact spider lol. I think it's more about nature versus nurture. Women are built to have babies, it's in their physiology. They instinctively feel the need to nurture and only need one partner to achieve this goal.

With Men it's nature. We are built to procreate. We were built to be able to have many babies with many different women. This is how our civilization was built more rapidly. A women once pregnant takes 9 months to have the child. Meanwhile the man, during our beginnings, could go around and impregnate other women in the clan,tribe,etc. because that's just the way it was. It's still instinct within a man to want to have sex with different women.

And we're supposed to be civilized according to many. We are supposed to repress those feelings and if you don't you are labeled a "sex addict" like Tiger Woods. In the end it just points to the further pussifying of men (I think I just made that word up). Women love men but want us to be more like women. Confusing to say the least and that right there my friends, all of which I stated, IS why we cheat!

(Not to mention those hot ass low rider jeans they walk around in,,,,,dammmmnnnnnn!)

Spiderman, why get other opinions? If you like the girl and feel like you should get married, do it! I've been married with my wife for 6 years now and don't have any regrets. I would even say that it was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made. What's holding you up?

Mark it definitely wasn't set up. Rome almost got fired from the job and the verbal sparring went back and forth for months. He also had a huge welt on the back of his head from hitting the floor when Everett came at him. Rome has since admitted his mistake in the handling of the situation.

Happy belated, Armando. It's mine on Sunday (I'm a few years younger than you). I'll be celebrating watching the Chiefs beat our team, as we fall to 0-8.

Happy birthday!!!
The whole team should have gotten you some new players to put in their uniforms.
Ross: Hey kid! You're not supposed to be here!
Mando: Hey this place is really something else huh? Someday I'm gonna come out of that tunnel and I'm gonna run onto this field.
Ross: Well it ain't gonna be this day...
Mando: I'm here to play football for the Fins!
Ross: Coach Sparano know about it?
Mando: No... not yet.
Ross: Well maybe you best tell him first...

Mando: Coach I just wanted to thank you for letting be a part of this football program this year.
Coach Sparano: Mando, I never I thought I'd be saying this but it's been an honor.
Mando: But I've come to realize that God made some people out to be football players and that I'm not one of them.
Coach Sparano: I wish God would put your heart in some of my players bodies.

Didn't know you were looking for Married guys to extol the advantages of marriage but here goes. Marriage is great,,,,,,when or IF you can find the right person to be married too. Been married to my wife for 7 years and it has been awesome.

She's my friend as well as my partner. She loves to take care of me (freaking Sunday morning sex followed by pancakes and bacon is the bomb!) and never stands in the way of my happiness. She doesn't act like a mother like many women do to their husbands and isn't jealous. She would never hold me back from going out and doing something I enjoy because she wants me to be happy. She doesn't rely on my presence 24 hours a day to feel whole.

Many women want a husband because they actually miss their dads. They want to be taken care of in every aspect of their lives and have no independence. I know because many of my friends have married women like this and are miserable. Husband "Can I go out with Mike to a game"? Wife "Then what am I supposed to do,,,what about me"?

And just the fact that they actually ask for permission like it's their mommy cracks me up. My wife would cringe if I asked permission. I tell her what I'm doing and if she wanted to do something or just wanted me to be around she would then ask me if I could skip it.

It's a mutual respect, equal partnership and if you don't have that then you have a miserable marriage. So yes Spider marriage CAN be great, if you have the right partner. IMO

The comment about the fight/interview with Jim Rome and Jim "Chris" Everett brought back good memories. What a riot!

If you haven't seen it, check it out here-

http://www.heavensports.com/features/friday-fun-jim-chris-everett-jim-rome/

Spider...Phin78 nailed it...Although from your original post you asked about missing "other" women...It is my experience that it only happens if you either slow down in the bedroom or it becomes routine...keep it fresh and there are no worries there...

Genius. LMAO!!!

Did the Herald get you a video channel for your birthday? Love the show, too.

And when I said that's why we cheat I meant men, not me. But I'm not denying the urges, any man who does is lying.

Phins78, culdn't have said it better myself. I'm not married yet but I know my gf would be an excellent wife because she's all grown up. She's a teacher so she has a career of her own, she has friends of her own. We share a lot but also give each other space to enjoy the same things we did before we met.

As far as Jim Rome, that puke had it coming. Very unprofessional and what made him think he could handle a man the size of Jim Everett anyway. Wish he would've hit him harder.

If I were Marc Colombo I'd kick your butt. Of course, if I were Marc Colombo I'd be so tired from getting my butt kicked every Sunday I wouldn't be able to get enough energy to kick your butt.

Mark, far be it from me to dampen the mood (nor do I want you to lose money on it). All I ask is we calmly, in a friendly manner discuss the matter on Monday, when once again, a Dolphins fan has underestimated the team's ability to lose a game.

It's hard, since you've done your due diligence and frankly have the facts and figures to back up your position. On paper, I can totally see how you could be right.

What's more murky, though, is the depths of losing this team has sunk to. I don't think any of us can appreciate how horrible we are. And sometimes we all need to be reminded.

And, with no delight, I'm predicted this to be one of those reminders. But at least after Sunday you'll know NEVER to bet on this team this year!!!

Good luck though. I'm pulling for you to be richer Monday.

Hey Mando-

Why don't you invite Brandon Marshall on your radio show and ask him about that "extra gravity" so we can watch a modern day Rome/Everett type interview fight?

We Dolfans are bored and we could use the excitement! You got a bunch of gifts- how about giving back a little?

I'd like to challenge how these sacks surrendered are tabulted. How is it that Columbo has only given up 3-5 sacks - it seems like it should be a lot higher than that.

Someone please clarify - not sure on the metrics used for calculating this stat.

DC, I don't care if they win, come within the spread. That's hwo bad it's got for our team - just come within the spread!!!

Mark agreed on Rome. He's the guy who never was quite big enough to play football,hockey,basketball. He probably grew up resenting the jocks in his schools and that one moment in time a trigger went off in his jealous brain and it seemed like he couldn't stop himself. Like all of the years of being picked on had come down to this moment and when Everett told him "Don't call me Chris" little Romes mind screamed "NOT THIS TIME JOCK, THIS IS MY SHOW NOW, WE'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE"! It could have been anyone but poor Everett took the brunt. The funny thing is I actually think Rome made an honest mistake when he first said it, then was joking the second time, and then that's when the jock thing kicked in! Hahahaha that's how I viewed it anyway.

Mark teachers are great. They definitely have that quiet strength that makes them more independent and therefore better partners. Good luck man, wrap her up now! There aren't many like that out there.

Mark-

Colin Cowherd just picked the Fins to beat the spread against the Chiefs as one of his Fab 5 picks.

I'm all for the Fins looking good(beating the spread), but losing for the sake of our top draft pick.

Good Luck! GO FINS!

I hope Armando gets his ass kicked. Totally uncalled for. And then you try to say that you are reporting impartially?? B.S.

Phins78, #1 Montreal, egreen, thanks for the input. I've been with my gf for a while and I love her to death but like every men I get happy feet when it comes to the thought of marrige, not that I wouldnt marry her its just I guess butterflies.

With that said I def have some urges for other women, but thats not going to go away anytime soon I guess. So I just want to here from guys who are actually married and love it.

Here's what pi**es me off about some reporters. This is a quote from the Sun Sent.

"This is where things grow interesting. Just a week ago, there were reports about how Luck might use his limited power to steer clear of the Dolphins in the draft. And the Dolphins have issues, no doubt, as any losing team does."

It's the "there were reports" thing that makes me want to wring one of these guys necks. They must think we are the dumbest fans on planet earth. Reports? You mean the reports that you guys made up?

Because Luck didn't say he would steer clear of Miami in the draft, as a matter of fact he called it silly. And his family has never once muttered a sentence closely resembling that statement. So it was either a fans opinion or a reporters opinion that started the ball rolling. And now that is used in a new article as a "report" as if it was true.

So they make up stories, and then use their made up stories to prove that their own opinions are factual. F**king brutal man, just brutal. And no one calls these guys out for it. They sit around and talk all of the s**t in the world about the team, players, coaches. Call them out for every little mistake but then get complete immunity when they f**k up. WHY?!

LOL! Ok, then I'm behind you all the way. As long as KC doesn't score over 20 points, you should be good.

finsfan72, I think Golic on Mike&Mike picked them too. If I'm KC, I use this as inspiration. Everyone is picking the worst team in the league to beat them, got to be embarrassing.

Spider the urges never go away. I mean maybe for a few minutes after you've done the deed with your loved one but then you turn the TV on and to watch the movie Horrible Bosses and Jen Anniston is half naked talking about shoving something in her you know what and it starts all over again!

You will always have the urge, it never goes away and is completely normal and don't ever let anyone tell you different. The thing is if you love the person enough you will never act on the urges because you would never want to hurt that person so deeply.

And don't forget, after a while married sex can be better than stranger sex. You both know what you each like, what's fun. You can experiment with different,,,,well everything! No condoms, no worries of disease, no worries period. All kinds of fun to be had (as long as your wife is into it)!

Phins78, last year Newton went to a franchise in way worse shape than the Dolphins and did it with a smile on his face. I know Dolphin nation is feeling insecure about themselves but anybody would be an idiot to not want to play in Miami. I'm old enough to remember Marino's glory days and how Miami was one of the epicentres of the NFL. Look at how much attention the Heat get right now. It's a plum job - he'd be an idiot to turn it down.

And nice take on the Jim Rome incident. I can see how Rome thought like he was pushed into a corner by having the athlete tell him what to do. Thing is, Everett seemed like a pretty nice dude. he didn't deserve that - who deserves being called a woman in front of the country?

DC I know it's close but there's no way the Phins are the worst in the league. The Colts, are no doubt worse than the fins this year. Beyond a doubt. They're not even close ion their games while the Dolphins have been very close many times.

happy birthday mando!!!

hopefully they give you the #1 pick in next year's draft too.

FF72, DC, lose and come within the spread - that's ideal!

Spider, like 78 says, the urges never go away. NEVER! It goes against the laws of nature to do so. Some act on them, some don't. I'm not here to preach but if you act, please be discreet at least ...

Phins78, Thanks. I really appreciate it.

I think Todd Haley is going to open it up against us based on the Giants, and others, having having wide open receivers all over the field against our secondary. Could be a big day for Cassell, Bowe and Breaston. We played one of our best games of the year against the Giants and still lost. Think this will be a letdown game but the letdown will be on our side. KC covers going away. Probably be eating crow on Monday but that wouldn't be the first time.

Happy belated b-day Mando. I thought covering an NFL team would be a "dream job". Guess not so much for you lately. I just hope they become a playoff team again before you or I retire.

Happy Birthday. Maybe they will dedicate their first win, this weekend against KC, to you. Great article.

Its hard to be discreet now a days Mark. Im glad to know Im not the only one. So if the urge never go away no matter how many chicks I bang I will never be completely satisfied.

Spider, that is correct

Yeah Rome was way out of line on that one. Rookie mistake and he has to be so embarrassed by it. I know my friends would never let me live it down!

I could go on and on (as you guys are aware) about why no modern day athlete would turn down a team drafting first but I won't. You're right, a player that would do that WOULD be an idiot and therefore I know I wouldn't want him on my team if he had such low character. Andrew Luck is a classy kid from a good solid blue collar family. He won't shy away from a challenge.

And remember when Marino left? Every QB for the next decade, even a little now, was compared to Danny. The pressure must have been enormous. So if the Phins get the first pick and Indi gets the second Luck isn't going to turn us down.

Let's see, I can play in Miami (immediately), in Matt Moores shadow, after they hand me the key to the city OR I can ride the bench for a year or two in Indi and then have to come in and be as good as Peyton or everyone will boo me. Hmmmmmmmmmm

No problem Spiderman, you've entertained me for years while keeping the streets of NY safe for us citizens. It's the least I could do!

National media picking phins because they don't want them to get Luck, lol. And agree that the whole Luck would steer clear thing was just completely fabricated. Ridiculous on its face, besides never hearing one word about Luck as any kind of primadonna, has anyone?

Happy birthday Armando. Good blog. After thinking about the truth behind the jokes, I can't help but wondering how long will it take to fix this football team and about the possibility that it can be fixed at all. It seems everybody has his own agenda, and winning games for Miami is not one of them.

Phins78, Just your freindly neighborhood Spiderman.

Tom absolutely not. He's the exact opposite. It's not in his character to behave that way. And Elis thing wnet deeper than just not wanting to play for SD. It wasn't about weapons because he would have had a lot in SD, look at Rivers teammates since he's been in the league. Everyone forgets that Archie had an issue with his son going to SD because he was sure that Eli was going to sit on the bench for a while. He wanted him to go somewhere that he had a chance to be a starter. Smith made it clear that would not be the case in SD and Archie was not happy about it. That wouldn't be a problem in Miami, Luck WOULD be the definite starter and face of the franchise.

Phins78, you're probably right, but I'm not sure it can be determined by what we see.

I think Miami is actually TRYING to win games, and the Colts have mailed it in and are tanking the Season in order to get the 1st pick (whether it's to get Luck or another player or trade the spot for picks is beyond me).

We may still both end up winless, but at least we're doing it organically, while they are trying to lose.

That's what irks me about the "stories" you referenced about Luck not coming here. If there's ANY team he shouldn't want to go to it's the Colts, since they tank games (this wasn't the first time either, they've done it before).

I think if anything the Colts want to trade the 1st pick and get a bunch in return. They need to surround Peyton with better talent on the o-line and they definitely need to upgrade their defense. Peyton just signed a pretty substantial extension and with the injury it might be harder to trade him away. Besides he's Peyton freaking Manning, hall of fame QB. Who in their right mind thinks Indi is going to trade away a sure thing, hall of fame QB, for an unproven college player? Stupid.

Gotta get some work done people, see ya.

Reading the stuff that's been coming out of Indy the last few days (Peyton, Irsay, Polian), I'm starting to believe more and more that Indy taking Luck is not a slam dunk. I think as long as Peytn comes along, they would be open to trading that pick to Miami. Something like 2 1sts and a 2nd. They take Kalil, and get two more good players and then revisit the qb situation down the line. Not saying I think it will happen but it seems more likely than before.

From Miami's perspective, yes the price is high but they can get a RT in the 3rd round, Carlson from Seattle is a free agent this summer, and the rest of the supporting cast I think is decent enough to get them by without those picks for a year or two. It's not like he wouldn't have his big possession receiver or a LT to protect his blindside or a defense that at worst is middle of the road (like they are this year).

Just a thought ...

happy B day mando. I'll be as old as you pretty soon but not yet :-)

And they have a decent running back too ... I think the Dolphins are in just about as good position as a team at the bottom of the standings can be in giving up future picks to get the main centrepiece to the franchise.

Mark, Im not so sure trading trading 2 first and a second is a good deal. Remember we have holes all over this football tam and we need to stock pile as much draft picks as we can. I think Landry Jones at 2 would be ok.

Stockpiling picks is successful when you have someone who can evaluate talent and occasionally hit on those picks. Hopefully we'll have someone in that position come April but right now, not so much.

Happy Birthday you old fart

Ross is going to bring Peterson in as the new GM. Is he any good?

Mark, I'd make that trade in a heartbeat. It's not like Luck will bring us to the Promised Land in his first year. He'll need a couple of years to acclimate him to the league. Plus, we'll have a new GM, new HC, new Coordinators, who will be installing new systems. Players will need some time to develop in those.

So we can spread out getting our needs over the first few years while all that is solidifying. And as long as the GM is good at talent acquisition, we should be able to get what we need through the other Draft picks over those years (and FA).

I think that's worth FINALLY getting your most important position squared away for the first time since 1999 and not having to worry about it for the next decade.

Happy belated B. Where yous from?

Talking about Birthdays, the best birthday present I was given I don't remember as I usually forget about my Birthday. Except this imminent One.

Spiderman, I like Landry Jones too but I'm not a scout. If the personnel guys say that there is a 95% chance that Luck is a top 5 qb (i.e. Rothliesberger, Brady, Manning, Rodgers, Brees) and Jones is 70% chance to be the same then I make the trade.

I agree with DC, take our lumps in the draft while Luck progresses. We get a better personnel department that has better hits with fewer chances and we should be fine.

That's just my opinion.

Why trade with Indy when we can get Landry jones who is better than luck.

I like gambling.

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