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Birthday gifts from the Dolphins to ... me!

Yesterday was my birthday. I was born November 3, 1962. You do the math, if you can.

Anyway, I just got done opening up all the gifts the Dolphins got me this year. They're such a wonderful group, these big palookas. I've covered them since 1990 and they always reward my annual passing of time with gifts galore.

This year was no different. So let me share with you what I got from the Dolphins for my birthday:

From cornerback Vontae Davis and running back Daniel Thomas: Advice on how to condition my hamstrings.

From linebacker Kevin Burnett: That loud stereo he always plays in the locker room, which by total coincidence he turns up every single time any media is in the locker room so as to screw up everyone's interviews.

From linebacker Jason Taylor: A mirror. He's got thousands.

From right tackle Marc Colombo: A free pass to quarterback Matt Moore. I thought it was a special gift until I noticed he gives away a lot of these.

From receiver Brandon Marshall: Some of that extra gravity that follows him everywhere. He last used it against the Jets when it inexplicably carried him from the middle of the field to the sideline and out of bounds.

From defensive end Phillip Merling: His game day uniform. He hasn't used it lately and my guess is he won't need it much the rest of the season.

From guard Vernon Carey: Diet tips. I need them. And he hasn't been using them lately, anyway.

From receiver Clyde Gates: An onfield exhibition of his alleged speed which I have yet to see in an actual game.

From linebacker Koa Misi: Oh, didn't get anything from him. Haven't seen him in a long, long time.

From the entire rest of the organization: Plane tickets to the playoffs. They know they won't need them.

From coach Tony Sparano: The unvarnished truth, for once, about how terrible his players are playing.

From GM Jeff Ireland: Jeff? Where are you, Jeff? Jeff? It's my birthday, man!

From owner Stephen Ross: A job. This organization will have many coming open very soon.

[VIDEO ANNOUNCEMENT: It is a Football Fanatic Friday on Armando and the Amigo today. Alonzo Highsmith, Bernie Kosar and Sean Salisbury will be joining the show today. We can be heard on 640-AM in South Florida and seen if you click here as a LIVE streaming videocast. You can participate -- agree or disagree -- by texting the show, chiming in on the live chat, or calling the show toll free from anywhere in the United States at 1-888-640-9385.]

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Pee Wee "It's too big"

Meat: What do you think this is, the return desk at Macy's?

Mark, just for you!

Billy: Cherry, this is Pee Wee.

Cherry Forever: I'll say. What do you use for a jockstrap, kid? A peanut shell and a rubber band?

Cherry Forever: [to Billy] You know we'd better tie a board across his a*s, or he's liable to fall in.

Cherry Forever: [to Pee Wee] Save your energy, needle d*ck. You're gonna need it.

Pee Wee Morris: [giggling] OK.

Hahahaa!! Nice Joe!

Pee Wee "Meat, you can't go first. When you're done with her there will be nothing left for the rest of us!"

Same birthday as my life partner!

What brand of hair dye do you use, Armando?

My Top 10 NFL QB's

1. Aaron Rodgers
2. Tom Brady
3. Drew Brees
4. Peyton Manning-- He's a top 5 even if he's not playing.
5. Ben Roethlisberger
6. Eli Manning-- Having his best season.
7. Ryan Fitzpatrick-- Primary reason Bills are 5-2.
8. Cam Newton-- The stats dont lie.
9. Phillip Rivers-- Fast becoming AFC's version of Tony Romo.
10. Andrew Luck-- One of the top 10 qb's no matter what level he's currently on.

Best Of The Rest: 11-13

11. Michael Vick-- He can now throw too.
12. Matt Shaub-- Still needs be break the top 10 to make Texans a real force.
13. Tony Romo-- Perrenial teaser-pleaser

Greatest Disappoints Far From Bust:

1. Matt Ryan-- Better than any our qb's since Marino but currently the 19th rated. This season making the Jake Long pick seem not nearly as bad as previously thought.

2. Jay Cutler-- Big time talent, mostly average play.

3. Mark Sanchez-- Minus two straight AFC championship appearances. What has he done to prove he's only marginally better than Chad Henne at best?

?

hmm?

Nothings posting?

My Top 10 NFL QB's

1. Aaron Rodgers
2. Tom Brady
3. Drew Brees
4. Peyton Manning-- He's a top 5 even if he's not playing.
5. Ben Roethlisberger
6. Eli Manning-- Having his best season.
7. Ryan Fitzpatrick-- Primary reason Bills are 5-2.
8. Cam Newton-- The stats dont lie.
9. Phillip Rivers-- Fast becoming AFC's version of Tony Romo.
10. Andrew Luck-- One of the top 10 qb's no matter what level he's currently on.

Best Of The Rest: 11-13

11. Michael Vick-- He can now throw too.
12. Matt Shaub-- Still needs be break the top 10 to make Texans a real force.
13. Tony Romo-- Perrenial teaser-pleaser

Greatest Disappoints Far From Bust:

1. Matt Ryan-- Better than any our qb's since Marino but currently the 19th rated. This season making the Jake Long pick seem not nearly as bad as previously thought.

2. Jay Cutler-- Big time talent, mostly average play.

3. Mark Sanchez-- Minus two straight AFC championship appearances. What has he done to prove he's only marginally better than Chad Henne at best?

Call me crazy, and I'm sure someone will, but I think we win this week. Just a feeling I have. We've been close the last 2 games and I think that this week, our defense finds some backbone and plays 60 instead of just 30.

PA finsfan,

Sorry but I just dont see a nonexistent pass rush, bottom 1/8 NFL secondary, 31st in league takeaways, last in 3rd down conversion, worst redzone efficiency, and gravity tackling #1 wr team. Gets its 1st win vs KC.

Plus, KC qb Matt Cassell may as well be Tom Brady in comparisons to Matt Moore. Start Cassell on this week's fantasy vs the Dolphins defense. Remember, this is the exact same defense that made Tim Tebow and Colt McCoy look like NFL legends in 4th qtr comebacks.

Also last week against the Giants, Eli Manning was like Santa. While stffing us in his Christmas delivery bag like Toy R Us. You may wanna give that just a little more thought guy.

Happy birthday Pal !!! Much much better article. Fun to read !

PA finsfan,

Also "just a feeling" has kept me playing the lottery for years. Still havent won the big jackpot yet.

There's a very fine line separating "just a feeling" and "insane denial".

yesterday's gone,

Something about your posts?

I can't quite put my finger on it(yes I can).

BUT, there's just "SOMETHING" about your posts.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........................

Happy birthday Mando

Happy belated birthday, Armando.

FELIX CUMPLEANOS MANDO! You are the best legal immigrant reporter I have seen,since Rick "many chances" Sanches

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