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The practice report from the practice that never was

Although the Dolphins have not been practicing on Thursdays, using it as their off day, the NFL mandates teams release an injury report that day for Sunday's game. (It doesn't mandate a Tuesday injury report although the Dolphins actually do practice that day).

So today the Dolphins put out their practice report from the practice that never was.

And in that fictional injury report, cornerback Dimitri Patterson, who coaches decided not to play last week because of a groin injury, didn't practice after being limited in an actual real practice on Wednesday.

That means Patterson isn't necessarily getting better -- fictionally speaking.

S Chris Clemons (hamstring) and DT Paul Soliai (knee) would not have practiced had the Dolphins actually worked Thursday, so they were listed as not practicing on the fictional injury report. Soliai is not playing on Sunday.

And quarterback Ryan Tannehill (right throwing shoulder) continued to lead a group of six players who would have been limited in practice had the Dolphins, you know, practiced -- which they didn't. The others who would have been limited are Will Davis (toe), Pat Devlin (ankle) Koa Misi (right knee), Jamar Taylor (groin), Jimmy Wilson (groin).

Mike Wallace, who missed time in the preseason with a groin injury, apparently tweaked the thing at some point Wednesday because he appeared on the fictional injury report today. It apparently is not serious as Wallace is listed as full practice had ... the ... Dolphins ... actually ... practiced.

Which they did not.

Interesting perhaps only to me: Four Dolphins players are suffering pains in the groin.

(At least one sportwriter, also).

In the world of real practices and reports based on actual events, Falcons left tackle Sam Baker (knee/foot) and cornerback Asante Samuel (thigh) missed practice for the second time this week. WR Roddy White (ankle) is managing the injury a bit better as he was limited in practice after missing drills altogether Wednesday.

The Dolphins are back to work tomorrow and will release an injury and practice report that will reflect what happened in a real practice.

Ah, the NFL.