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Another Guarantee from the Florida Panthers: A 2011-12 Season

Guaranteed The Panthers absolutely love putting guarantees on things.

If you can recall, the Panthers 'guaranteed' fans they would make the playoffs in 2009, putting then first-year coach Pete DeBoer on billboards around town with the bold proclamation.

If Florida didn't make the playoffs, the promise went, fans who bought tickets during that run would get four free tickets during the  following season.

Anyone know if the Panthers made the playoffs? Anyone?

Pantherspromise The Panthers did not make the playoffs and the nation sank deeper into the Great Depression.

This season, the team has a "Good Time" guarantee in which fans who buy single game tickets and don't have a good time can get their money back (after filling out a form in which they turn over such marketing goodies as their Guaruntee address, phone number and e-mail address).

Now, the team is guaranteeing that the NHL will have a season next year -- something the NHL and NBA cannot say.

New graphics on the video billboards outside The Billboard have the Panthers "Next Season. Guaranteed." graphic next to a picture of a beach umbrella with an NBA basketball in one beach chair, an NFL football in the other.

The Panthers are obviously trying to reach out to those Heat and/or Dolphins fans who have some disposable income and are wary Guaranteed about shelling out big bucks for season tickets to a 2011 season that may or not be on time.

Of course, the Heat can guarantee it will be playing basketball in late April.

Don't think the Panthers are going there again.

From Tommy Boy:

Callahan Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box because he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside.

Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Of course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?

What's your point?

The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? Building model Zalinsky airplanes says the little fairy. Well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I've seen it a hundred times.