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What to buy with all that Gator cash? A moat around The Swamp, duh.

The University of Florida earned over $2 million in merchandise royalties from January to March. That ranks third nationally behind Texas and Notre Dame, according to a list compiled by the Collegiate Licensing Company. Don't be surprised if the next quarterly report pushes the Gators even higher. It will include sales made after the basketball team's national championship. Royalty checks are split between the university's general fund and the athletic department. All this money got us thinking. What are the Top 10 best ways for the Gators to spend their loot?

10. New fields of study: I've always wanted to major in rock & roll. Can we make this happen?

9. Bribes: The color purple should be banned from collegiate athletics. Let's start with the Southeastern Conference. How much cash would it take to get Louisiana State to alter its color scheme? Not much, probably. Heck, they'd probably do it for a couple recruits and a pint of potato salad.

8. Dance lessons: For Joakim Noah.

7. Free beer on game days

6. New uniforms: Alligator skin. Don't laugh. This would be the coolest thing since Jams.

5. Payoffs: Can you buy bravery? Schedule a home-and-home against Miami. Make this happen no matter the cost.

vs.

4. Free beer and ribs on game days!

3. Smarter cops. This has nothing to do with the University of Florida. Just a personal wish.

2. Undercards: Can we get boxing matches or cage fighting before each football game this fall? How about man vs. beast fights to the death?

1. A moat around The Swamp, duh: This is a no brainer. Naturally, alligators would live in the moat. Georgia's got the hedges. That's lame. A moat, now that's cool. Here's a blueprint.

Didn't make the list: Intramural stock car racing.

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Prize money for post game wet tee shirt contest.

I see nothing funny in this post; it’s just good business sense. Majors in rock in roll, smooth dancing basketball players, free beer and ribs, unique jerseys, man vs. beast fights, and a moat for intimidation: the students would come flooding in. Or perhaps due to the moot they should paddle in, since students with gator scars would probably scare off potential recruits.

And eliminating purple jerseys and dumb cops isn’t funny, it’s community service.

I’ve changed my mind. Students adorning gator scars is a great idea. It would increase the family-like sentiments among the alumni, show off school pride, and look wicked cool.

I can’t decide whether I want turkey, ham, or bologna on my sandwich, any advice?

Eat all three. That's what I always say!

I think they should give it to the Darfur victims in Sudan and have Donovan and Zook deliver the check. Free Darfur!

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