BIRMINGHAM, Ala. -- Merry Christmas Eve. In an ongoing pattern of self-inflicted torture, I'll be heading to the mall in a few minutes to donate the remaining morsels of my sanity to the Gap.
I have only observed one thing that compares to the suffering and angst of Christmas Eve at the mall and that's when I had to report on a FEMA distribution site in Oakland Park during Hurricane Wilma.
Imagine if the alien invasion happened on Christmas Eve at Aventura Mall (North Miami)? Here's what our zoo exhibit on the planet Tralfamadore would read: Humans from the planet Earth. Live birth. Social creatures. Seen here in its natural environment, a collection of artificial caves. Extinct.
From one mind-numbing creation to another, let's talk recruiting. The Florida Gators currently have one committed quarterback but could use two -- especially if Cam Newton leaves UF after being accused of stealing a laptop computer. Here's the worst -case scenario: Tim Tebow turns pro and Newton leaves. What then? Florida certainly doesn't want to begin the 2009 season with only two scholarship quarterbacks.
QUARTERBACK COMMITMENT: Jordan Reed (6-3, 245) of New London, Conn. A dual-threat quarterback, Reed was injured for a large portion of his senior season. I'm sure you're tempted to draw comparisons between Reed and Tebow because of Reed's size. Bad idea.
QUARTERBACK GRADE: C-
A few announcements before I check out...
--Don't forget to buy a Christmas Day copy of The Herald. You'll be impressed with the two-page layout of the All-Florida team.
--Got an email from the Desert Gator Club in Scottsdale, Ariz. They're collecting toys for Christmas donations. I told our friends at the Desert Gator Club that I'd mention their cause on the blog. Don't really know why people would ship toys to Arizona, now that I think about it. ANYWAY, do the right thing and donate toys this Holiday season.