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Top 10 ways for the Florida Gators to embarrass the Tennessee Volunteers this weekend

Because for many Florida fans, winning just isn't enough:

10. Take quarterback Tim Tebow out after halftime and let John Brantley finish off the Vols. Let the Bull Gator wound the beast and then allow him to watch from the sidelines as his young apprentice practices the death roll. It's nature's way!

9. Call timeout midway through the third quarter so Tebow can take his post-game lap around Florida Field a little early.

8. Better yet. Don't even play Tebow. Just save him for Kentucky.

7. Insinuate before kickoff that Eric Berry couldn't start for Florida.

6. You know how Florida fans always sing We Are The Boys From Old Florida at the end of the third quarter. Replace that with Rocky Top.

5. Honor Phil Fulmer before kickoff.

4. Post-game chant: "All night long! All night long! All night long!"

3. Urban's post-game handshake includes this one-liner: "They should have promoted Pat Summitt."

2. Urban coaches the entire fourth quarter with his shirt off.

1. Would Charles Woodson be willing to play the part of Mr. Two Bits?

Gator Clause is all for staying classy. Our sportsmanship initiatives are legendary.

-jo-

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Unfortunately, your only hits are No. 4 and No. 6.

Rocky Top - will always be - 2nd in the S-E-C.

Adam,

This was a tongue-and-cheek commentary on the ridiculous build up for this game. Not to be taken seriously.

-jo-

I realize it was comedy, jo. 8 of 10 weren't funny. That is why I said the funny ones, or "hits," were 4 and 6. Stop being so defensive.

Mark it down - the game will be very close and Tenn wins is FLA fumble half of how they fumbled(I understand it was raining) vs Troy.

tough crowd...I bow to your sense of humor oh great heckler and blog critic!

-jo-

My calendar alerts me to remind you TOMORROW to make this list. Not that you're "premature" or anything like that.

Honoring Phil "Mr. Pilsbury" Fulmer would be outstanding. I've always had a soft spot for that guy, in a pathetic kind of way.

11. Hang SEVENTY on them.

12. Show an endless loop of Berry getting steamrolled by Tim on the jumbotrons.

13. Slip John Reaves $20 to give up Layla's email then post it on the Jumbos.

14. At halftime, raise funds for the American Association of Sociopaths in honor of Lane Kiffin.

15. But the BEST would be to put that Dumb and Dumber photo next to Crompton's pic up on the Jumbotron everytime Crompton goes under center.


Dave,

As much as I selfishly want this game to be close so I can finally write an exciting game story, I'm not holding my breath.

-jo-

#2 is high comedy but what would make it better is if every player on the sidelines did so.

Quit embarrassing yourself "UM Dave Gator Palumbo."

you created a name to post that garbage?

Gather 1,000 Gators and 1,000 of them will predict a victory going away.

As champions, we don't pander to jealous cane fans who POSE as Gator fans.

I'm not heckling you. But I didn't know people weren't allowed to criticize? Isn't that what you do in your blog all the time? If you can't take it, don't post it. It is NOT meant in any offense to you, jo. I just expect quality when I read your stuff because you've brought it to that level before. Sorry for setting my expectations high for you.

Now Alan - Alan brought it strong. Good list!

Just got off the phone with Tennessee offensive guard Vlad Richard of Lauderdale Lakes Boyd Anderson. Great stuff. Posting it shortly.

-jo-

Could they put a message on the New board for Crompton:

Shave that creepy looking 70s porno/molester mustache!

Great list Jo, very funny imo. Extra points for Woodson.
I am sure you would not only love a close game, but also a Vol win. Sorry, you will have to continue living your own personal nightmare as a Gator hater who has to live in Gainesville and cover the Gators during their current reign as the best team in the nation.

Why would I want Tennessee to win? I'm looking forward to an all-expenses-paid trip to Pasadena.

-jo-

ALL expenses paid? Does that include Scores?

Adam, I love you like a brother man. You are all things Gator. You collect and disseminate Gator info better than I could ever imagine. Hell I don't even get to read all the stuff you Tweet. Not schmoozing you, just telling you what I'm sure many others would agree with. You do a great job.

That said, get off Jo's ass man. As he said, he list was tongue in cheek. I know he has more to do than spend all day compiling a list so I assumed he just threw it together. Sure it's not up there with his posting of Lloyd Christmas next to Johnathon Crompton, that made me bust out laughing, but it was good work nonetheless. Sometimes I think you might wanna lay off the Red Bull. I dunno.

I always want to see more information from The Goods. But I'm never at odds with his content. Even if it is a half baked comedy routine.

Ironically, I stole Jo's ideas for my list additions.

Goody, respect.

JO,

You were on fire for this whole list. It would be great to see almost any of those take place.

Well done. How much do you think it take to get Phil to let us honor him @ 1/2 time:)?

**That said, get off Jo's ass man. As he said, he list was tongue in cheek. I know he has more to do than spend all day compiling a list so I assumed he just threw it together. Sure it's not up there with his posting of Lloyd Christmas next to Johnathon Crompton, that made me bust out laughing, but it was good work nonetheless. Sometimes I think you might wanna lay off the Red Bull.**

Appreciate the complements, but I'm not on Jo's ass. I simply expect him to produce a high level of content because I know he is CAPABLE of that. I don't post on the PBP site criticizing Volin not because he has nothing to criticize (there is plenty), but because I know there is nothing else to get out of him. Jo, on the other hand, can produce some funny stuff. So when he posts something (which I am well-aware was tongue-in-cheek) that misses the mark - I tell him so. That is not to be an a-hole, it is simply to say I know he can do better. There is a big difference between hate and criticism. Criticism can be a positive thing - and that is my only intent in using it here.

I've received plenty of criticism and suggestions from my tweets. And instead of replying being offended, I say "thank you" and use it to make them (and my site coming out any day now) better.

Hope you understand where I'm coming from now.

We're always working to get better here at Gator Clause!

-jo-

Can they make Al Davis honorary captain and have him on the field?

Go gators!

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