GAINESVILLE -- Florida quarterback Tim Tebow told a story on Saturday that had every reporter in Florida's post-game press conference seated on seat's edge.
What's this? Tebow cried one time way back in 1996? Holy dinosaur, stop the presses. Stop the bloody presses! Re-wriiiiiite!!!
The Orlando Sentinel was so impressed with Tebow's maudlin yarn on Saturday that the paper featured the story at the top of its game story for UF 62, FIU 3. LINK! The Gainesville Sun took the bait, too. LINK! The Miami Herald will mention Tebow's tale, sadly, in tomorrow's paper, but we'll bury it -- and rightfully so, in my opinion -- at the bottom of a story about UF-FSU rivalry week.
OK, here's Tebow's story. According to UF's senior quarterback, he was watching Florida vs. Florida State in 1996 in his home in Jacksonville. Florida lost to Florida State 24-21 and Tebow was ordered outside by father Bob to, according to Tebow, mow the lawn and rake the leaves. As the story goes, Tebow was beside himself with emotion. According to Tim, he mowed that lawn and raked those leaves with little, itty-bitty alligator tears rolling down his tiny Tim face.
"When Florida State beat Florida in 1996, we didn't think we'd go to the national championship," Tebow said. "I remember dad made me go outside and cut the grass and rake the leaves. The whole time I was raking leaves, I was crying because Florida State just beat Florida."
OK, in all seriousness, this is a good story and offers some insight into Tebow and just how much he wants to beat the spears out of Florida State on Saturday. But, of course, this blog post is about cracking jokes. So ...
All right, here's what I want to know. What in the world was Bob Tebow thinking? He made his nine-year-old son cut the grass? Geez, Tim had it rough. Nine years old? Cutting grass? With tears streaming down that little nine-year-old face? Tim's older brothers Robby and Peter had it easy. In 1996, Robby would have been around 15 years old and Peter would have been about 12 ... and they just watched while little Timmy did all that work ... with tears streaming down his face...un ... be ...lievable! Bob Tebow, you taskmaster!