From former WPLG-TV anchor Charles Perez:
A response to Archbishop Wenski:
Bless me Father for I have sinned. It was a statement that haunted much of my childhood. To enter the confessional and utter those words was always the entré to an internal struggle. Do I tell him (the priest) something small, just enough to make his time and my time worthwhile, or do I tell him the truth? I am a homosexual.
At one point I considered becoming a priest. I believed it was the one place in society where I could get away with hiding my homosexuality. Little did I know I was not alone. Thankfully, I would make another choice.
I was an alter boy, as was my husband, and though I grew up believing in the church, I had seen way too much of the human side of these sometimes holier than thou figures to believe my secret would be safe with one of them-even in the confessional.
Sadly, I would come to know my distrust of the church was not unfounded.
On Saturday, March 12th, I read an Op-Ed piece in the Herald by the Rev. Thomas Wenski, Archbishop of Miami, titled, “Uphold Traditional Man Woman Union.” It was a combative and disturbing argument against gay marriage.
He called the president’s decision not to defend Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act a “salvo in our nation’s culture wars.” (Salvo - discharge of artillery, bombs.) What’s that line about “blessed are the peacemakers?” Anyway, the president’s decision not to challenge the law is because it sets two different standards for two different sets of people. It is a constitutional dilemma that he likely believes needs to be clarified before the law can be defended by the executive branch. The decision does not, however stop the legislative branch from defending it, which John Boehner has announced he will do. The archbishop only generalizes and obfuscates the issue.
The point about marriage is that you can not have laws that recognize marriage (and accord more than one thousand rights and privileges) in one state but not have those same rights and privileges honored by another state or by the federal government. For Uncle Sam, it makes a mess of everything from estate taxes to social security benefits.
To the Archbishop, however, it is war, and he fears his opponents will label him an intolerant bigot. I for one, will not. I believe the Archbishop has every desire of tolerating us as long as we remain in the back of the bus. He fears being called a bigot, he says, because he defends marriage as a monogamous union between a man and a woman. He has every right to defend it. Defending it does not make him a bigot. Denying another group of people equal treatment under the law, however, does.
He calls homosexuality a “phenomenon,” as if it is some rare and extraordinary occurrence. Guess again. Homosexuality occurs in nature as often in humans as green eyes and significantly more often than red hair. So much for the phenomenon.
The reverend also believes that the proponents of gay marriage are imposing their views on the larger populace. Need I remind him, in many struggles for equality throughout the history of this country, the emerging rights on the minority were almost always seen as affronts to the lifestyle of the majority. But Wenski goes one step further and reminds his reader that not only will we impose our “lifestyle,” but, he says, we will “punish” those who refuse to embrace it. He is manipulating with fear. I don’t see any “punishing” going on in the radical states of Iowa and Connecticut where gay marriage is recognized by state law.
But his primary argument is about natural law. He argues that marriage between one man and one woman has always been a fact of natural law. His argument completely ignores the many variations of marriage that have existed over the ages, including the one man/many women model often cited in the bible.
Natural law has long been an argument. It was used by crusaders and colonizers to subject conquered peoples. It has been used as a justification for racism. And, during the women’s suffrage movement, it was used as an argument to deny women the right to vote and the right to equal footing with men under the law. The church’s position on these issues often, if not always, went hand in hand with these arguments.
If there is any natural law, maybe it is this. No man or woman deserves to live as a second class citizen.
Furthermore, the argument the Archbishop is missing is the argument of the heart. My husband and I vowed to love, honor and cherish each other till death do us part. It is a holy union. We have a glorious daughter who we love, cherish and care for with a depth of commitment and passion second to none. It pains me to think what might have been her fate had she become a ward of the state in the foster care system.
We are a family. Two dads and an eight month old daughter who amazes us each day.
Archbishop Wenski’s piece in the Herald is more than disturbing. It is unkind. And, we should no longer tolerate this “unkindness” from those whose words would perpetuate the hate and shame that falls on the back of our gay youth. It is not very Christian.
Given where Jesus might have stood on this issue, you would think the archbishop would have enough doubt and humility to have held his righteous tongue.
____________________________________________________
Charles Perez and his husband were married in Connecticut in 2009 and adopted their daughter in Kansas in 2010. He is a former news anchor and author of, “Confessions of a Gay Anchorman.” He can be reached at: charlesperez@no-shame.org
Charles Perez sounds like a rambling nut, another Charlie Sheen.
Posted by: Pookie | March 15, 2011 at 07:21 PM
Awesome article, Charles. Hope the Archbishop will read this and have a change of heart.
Posted by: Steven M Webb | March 15, 2011 at 08:38 PM
Wonderfully well said. As a baptized Catholic, I, too, find the hypocrisy and homophobia promulgated by these so-called 'spiritual leaders' utterly abhorrent. And as Mr. Perez correctly points out, in matters of equality and social justice - from suffrage to civil rights to same-sex rights - the Church has historically been behind the curve, promoting intolerance and rewarding ignorance with arguments about 'the natural order' and "God's will.' Is it any wonder that good and decent people are fleeing the faith in record numbers (except in third-world nations?)
Posted by: Hudson Rover | March 15, 2011 at 08:43 PM
Both the Archbishop and Charles Perez have a right to their views. I tend to agree with the Archbishop that homosexuality is odd and unnatural but I would never mount an effort to keep people from being happy. So Charles and his husband should be able to live their lives peacefully. But they can't stop people from thinking they are a little strange.
Posted by: Joe | March 17, 2011 at 03:12 PM
If Noah paired cows with cows and chicken with chickens you'd starve to death.
Posted by: Schmedely Jones | March 17, 2011 at 03:33 PM
Anyone that beats that anti-gay drum very hard is usually in denial of their own sexual confusion.
Posted by: Joe | March 17, 2011 at 04:03 PM
a church is the last place you go for logic and reason, it will hopefully soon be relegated to be no more than the vestige of a less enlightened past, where it belongs, homophobia as well
Posted by: uselessMyth | March 17, 2011 at 04:05 PM
I was taught to have faith and believe that God is our creator and that God is a loving God. Therefore, I'm certain that if He created my brothers and sisters who are heterosexuals and loves them, then he also must love my homosexual brothers and sisters whom He also created. Who are you to judge, Mr. Archbishop? Shouldn't you be worried about all the pedophiles in your church instead?
Posted by: DayzDukes | March 17, 2011 at 04:26 PM
THE POSTER: "POOKIE" IS A CLEAR EXAMPLE THAT BRAINS COME IN LIMITED SUPPLY ... SORRY POOKIE, WALMART RAN OUT WHEN YOU WERE BORN ....
CHARLES, THANK YOU FOR OPENLY STANDING TO YOUR BELIEVES .. MAY THE ARCHBISHOP START CLEANING HOUSE BEFORE HE PASSES JUDGEMENT. HE SHOULD TAKE A LITTLE GUIDANCE FROM HIS "BOSS" IN ROME ON HOW TO WORD THINGS BETTER.
GOD BLESS THAT I DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH OR ANY OTHER INSTITUTION (CORPORATION IS A BETTER WORD) ...
Posted by: JUSTDJ | March 17, 2011 at 04:52 PM
I too do not understand the hatred towards gays, there are so many other issues that need to be addressed in this world.
My lifetime partner and I have 3 beautiful kids, (adults now), 5 wonderful and smart grandkids, and we have always had a great home for all of them.
They are ALL well adjusted and law abiding, go figure, they came from a gay home!!!!
Posted by: Maria Elena Diaz | March 17, 2011 at 05:14 PM
GOD LOVES GAY PEOPLE AS WELL AS NON GAY SINNERS BUT HE HATES SIN OF SAME COUPLES AND GOD CONDEMN IT !
GOD CONDEMNED MAN'S SIN THAT HE COMMITS BEING : IF YOU STEAL YOU ARE A "THIEF" ,IF YOU GO TO BED WITH ANOTHER MAN "YOU ARE A HOMOSEXUAL ,AN ABOMINATION UNTO GOD"
THAT IS THE REASON JEHOVAH GAVE HIS SON JESUS CHRIST SO ANYONE THAT COME TO HIM HIS SIN ARE FORGIVEN AND THE HOLY SPIRIT THAT LIVE IN MAN THAT FALLOW CHRIST GOD WILL FORGIVE BUT HOMOSEXUAL SIN JUST LIKE OTHER SIN WITH THE HELP OF GOD WILL MAKE IT EASIER FOR MAN TO TURN FROM AND FALLOW WHAT PLEASE GOD !
AS WE ALL KNOW GOD MADE MAN A WOMAN TO LEAVE HIS HELPER AND TO PROCREATE THE EARTH ,NOT ANOTHER MAN !
BUT BECAUSE OF SIN MAN TURN FROM HIS NATURAL WAYS TO FALLOW HIS OWN SINFUL DESIRES AND DISOBEDIENCE AGAINST GOD !
MAN WAS NOT BORN TO BE HOMOSEXUAL ,HE WAS MADE HOMOSEXUAL IF NOT THE BIBLE WOULD HAVE SAID OTHERWISE!
Posted by: CHRISTIAN FRIEND | March 17, 2011 at 05:47 PM
I don't understand if he has a husband whats that make him He is a male also
Posted by: hi | March 17, 2011 at 05:55 PM
God knows who and what he makes. When you're a growing child (who at the time is just being your natural self) and find an attraction toward the same sex, you are following the God given natural instinct that you were born with. I'm a heterosexual female because God made me this way. The same way that he gave me brown eyes and a heart to love all people for who they are.
Posted by: DayzDukes | March 17, 2011 at 07:22 PM
La Perez refuses to go quietly into the night. Ever since being fired from his anchor job here he has been on a wild roller coaster ride to try to recapture his lost 15 minutes. His (and his husband's) pictures displaying their daughter were revolting. Was she adopted for love or for publicity purposes? Then came the book. Now he pops up regularly on The Advocate site. I for one don't need someone with his baggage, skeletons, and dirty laundry, which are public domain, representing me in the gay press. And if he's going to be unleashing his opinions on us, then he needs to go back to school and learn how to spell altar. Alter has several meanings, none of which is altar. And if the error wasn't caught by La Perez, then it should have been caught by whoever proof read his junk, supposing of course that this blog uses a proof reader and/or editor. With Perez, we now have two Charlies that should disappear and never be heard from again. Then we could all shout: Winning!
Posted by: LILY MARLENE | March 17, 2011 at 07:25 PM
I feel for CHRISTIAN FRIEND's family as they are either dead or about to according to the bible. The bible was written by men, and it often reflects the barbaric, racist, hateful, and sexist thinking at the time. So let's cherry pick just like CHRISTIAN FRIEND:
Exodus 35:2: God demands that everyone should be killed that works on the sabbath day
Deuteronomy 21:18-21: God demands we kill disobedient teenagers
Deuteronomy 22:13-21: God demands that we kill women whom are not virgins when they marry
Posted by: JC | March 17, 2011 at 08:30 PM
Perez sure has a huge chip on his shoulder. So sad.
Posted by: angela | March 17, 2011 at 08:30 PM
We need to get the word out to religious communities that anti-gay people are twisting God's words to condone their hate.
Homosexuality is not a sin. The Bible is constantly being taken out of context to support anti-gay views. Scholars who have studied the Bible in context of the times and in relation to other passages have shown those passages (Leviticus, Corinthians, Romans, etc) have nothing to do with homosexuality. These passages often cherry-picked while ignoring the rest of the Bible. The sins theses passages are referring to are idolatry, Greek temple sex worship, prostitution, pederasty with teen boys, and rape, not homosexuality or two loving consenting adults.
http://www.soulfoodministry.org/docs/English/NotASin.htm
http://www.jesus21.com/content/sex/bible_homosexuality_print.html
http://www.christchapel.com/reclaiming.html
http://www.stjohnsmcc.org/new/BibleAbuse/BiblicalReferences.php
http://www.gaychristian101.com/
http://www.mccchurch.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Resources&Template=/CM/HTMLDisplay.cfm&ContentID=2121
http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/biblical_evidence.html
http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian
http://www.goodhopemcc.org/spirituality/sexuality-and-bible/homosexuality-not-a-sin-not-a-sickness.html
Posted by: shadow_man | March 18, 2011 at 04:50 PM
For those of you claiming homosexuality is a "lifestyle", that is a false and ignorant statement. Homosexuality is not a choice. Just like you don't choose the color of your skin, you cannot choose whom you are sexually attracted to. If you can, sorry, but you are not heterosexual, you are bi-sexual. Virtually all major psychological and medical experts agree that sexual orientation is NOT a choice. Most gay people will tell you its not a choice. Common sense will tell you its not a choice. While science is relatively new to studying homosexuality, studies tend to indicate that its biological.
http://www-news.uchicago.edu/releases/03/differential-brain-activation.pdf
http://www.newscientist.com/channel/sex/dn14146-gay-brains-structured-like-those-of-the-opposite-sex.html
Gay, Straight Men's Brain Responses Differ
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,155990,00.html
http://www.livescience.com/health/060224_gay_genes.html
http://www.springerlink.com/content/w27453600k586276/
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2008/06/16/172/
There is overwhelming scientific evidence that homosexuality is not a choice. Sexual orientation is generally a biological trait that is determined pre-natally, although there is no one certain thing that explains all of the cases. "Nurture" may have some effect, but for the most part it is biological.
And it should also be noted that:
"It is worth noting that many medical and scientific organizations do believe it is impossible to change a person's sexual orientation and this is displayed in a statement by American Academy of Pediatrics, American Counseling Association, American Association of School Administrators, American Federation of Teachers, American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, American School Health Association, Interfaith Alliance Foundation, National Association of School Psychologists, National Association of Social Workers, and National Education Association."
Posted by: shadow_man | March 18, 2011 at 04:50 PM
The National Library of Medicine pubs confirm that sexual orientation is natural, biologically induced in the first trimester of pregnancy, morally neutral, immutable, neither contagious nor learned, bearing no relation to an individuals ability to form deep and lasting relationships, to parent children, to work or to contribute to society.
From the American Psychological Association: homosexuality is normal; homosexual relationships are normal.
The American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association have endorsed civil marriage for same-sex couples because marriage strengthens mental and physical health and longevity of couples, and provides greater legal and financial security for children, parents and seniors.
America's premier child/mental health associations endorse marriage equality.
Posted by: shadow_man | March 18, 2011 at 04:51 PM
I feel so sad for "CHRISTIAN FRIEND" AND "LILY MARLENE" They must be some sorry, hateful empty human beings.
I wonder if that is against God'S wishes? If so, they too are CONDEMNED BY GOD!!!!
They can learn a lot from my Gay Son that I am so proud of and would not having him any other way.
Posted by: Maria Elena Diaz | March 19, 2011 at 09:20 AM
Sounds less like Perez has a chip on his shoulder and more like Angela does. If anything, Perez can write and has something to say. That's more than I can say for most other corporate owned news talent.
Posted by: Jennifer Rosen | March 19, 2011 at 05:39 PM