Bert and Ernie won't be marrying each other because they are NOT GAY!
So say the folks at Sesame Street who today issued the following statement in the wake of Internet rumors that the two Muppets were madly in love and about to wed:
"Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves.
Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation."