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Richard Chamberlain: It's perfectly OK to be gay

BY STEVE ROTHAUS, srothaus@MiamiHerald.com

In his Dr. Kildare heyday, heartthrob actor Richard Chamberlain received 12,000 fan letters a week, from “mostly young girls.”

And a few boys.

“Some of that, too,” giggles Chamberlain, now 78, still handsome and co-starring in Kathleen Turner’s new film, The Perfect Family.

The Thorn Birds star (as Father Ralph de Bricassart) plays another priest, Monsignor Murphy, who nominates Turner’s character as Catholic Woman of the Year for her church dedication and perfect family. Of course, no one yet knows that her alcoholic husband Frank wants to move out,  married son Frank Jr. (played by Jason Ritter) is having an affair and daughter Shannon (Emily Deschanel) is a pregnant lesbian.

“I was interested in the overall tone of hypocrisy,” Chamberlain says of the film. “The ‘perfect family’ bulls---. Perfect woman of the year. And all the pretense involved.”

Chamberlain knows all too well of pretense. For decades, he was among the world’s most-famous romantic leading men.

“The general public didn’t know I was gay,” he says. “People in the business did. Apart from a little gossip, they didn’t talk about it. It was great. They let us have our lives.”

Chamberlain spent much of his career being “discreet and careful.”

“You get used to it. My self esteem was shaky all my life,” he says. “To be gay in a time, the ‘30s, ‘40s and ‘50s when it was absolutely not an option [to be out], one gets used to this feeling a certain way — worthless. That feeling sticks.”

At age 68 — “realizing it was nonsense” — Chamberlain announced he’s gay.
“It’s as if, for instance, you were used to some kind of chronic pain. You just get used to it and you don’t think about it anymore. When it goes away, when the pain ceases, my God it’s a f---ing  miracle. It’s just wonderful. ... I was living a very nice life. Had a wonderful relationship, but I had a nagging sense that something was wrong with me. Even late in life. Then it just vanished.”

book Chamberlain, who shared his experience in the 2003 autobiography Shattered Love: A Memoir, says “the actual business of coming out is secondary.”

“The first is to realize there is nothing wrong with being gay. Then coming out is a sort of sideline.”

He and partner Martin Rabbett have been together 32 years. For decades they lived in Hawaii. Two years ago, Chamberlain returned to Los Angeles.

“I wanted a little more action in my life, in the sense that not much happens in Maui, except it’s so incredibly beautiful. I wanted to work and be with my friends here and be a part of the city,” says Chamberlain, adding that he and Rabbett, 20 years younger, are “closer and better friends now than we ever were.”

“It took time and growing up,” Chamberlain says. “I needed to have my own place and own work. I’ve done that and now we’re very close again.”

Chamberlain says it’s important to talk about his life experience.

“I would be delighted to talk to anybody about these areas of abysmal ignorance in our culture,” he says. “It’s extremely important to educate people that it’s not important. It’s not an issue worth their time. Of course gay people should be allowed to marry. Why not? All the reasons are made up. Don’t get me started on the Catholic Church. If a gay group or a straight group, really, — any institution — would want me to talk to them, I’d be delighted to do it. They don’t ask.”

The Perfect Family opens Friday at AMC Aventura 24, AMC Sunset Place, Cinema Paradiso in Fort Lauderdale and Tropic Cinema in Key West.

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Turn to God thru Jesus his son and be saved from Hell!

im 65 yrs of age and have been gay all my life, so i guess i followed the same path as mr, chamberlain. i never worried about it and really didnt care about it, i guess its the way we carried ourselves in those days and as far as i was concerned who was in the bedroom with me was nobodys business but my own and that still sticks with me, when my lover passed everyone acted like usual and all offered there condolences and symphathy. i guess they all knew that i was gay and never questioned it because we always presented ourselves with class and not like a crazy screaming queen, so to say come out, in my life there was nothing to come out to,

I respect differences in people.I am straight and that is my identity.My childhood experiences I feel shaped my early identity.I don t shout from a soapbox but it seems only natural that a couple should be a man and a woman and that is my personal view.

wait. he's 68. his partner is 20 years younger? 68-20=48. They've been together 32 years. 48-32=16!!! He had a 16 year-old boyfriend when he was 36?

No, he is now 78. He came out in 2003, in his late 60s.

Steve, I had the pleasure of meeting you when I was working at the Rising Action Theater. I continue to read you columns; keep up your great work. The movie trailer looks great.

Ken, thanks!

He was born in 1834 he was 75 when the article was written he was 40 when he made the thornbirds and met his partner who was aged 28!

Apologies for the error Richard Chamberlain was born in 1934 NOT 1834(typo)I made an error in the above date

LOL @Anne and 1834 vs. 1934. Who cares if he's gay! Now all I can think about is when he may come out as a vampire! But seriously, good for him. He sounds happy and that's all that matters.

I don't think he is really gay! I guess he just lived with a friend like the friends. I guess some women broke his heart long long time ago...
He was really good actor in the movie The Thorn Birds. In my opinion gay can't play like this, like a really good heart man.

Richard is a beautiful human being. Apart from being a great actor, he is a very nice & very humble person. I've always liked him as a actor, and will continue to do so. What will be...will be

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