When Beer Pong Is Outlawed, Only Outlaw Schools Will Have Beer Pong

   The University of Florida, in a brutal rebuke of academic freedom, has outlawed beer pong.

    Apparently, UF officials have not been pleased by the university's exalted status, according the the Princeton Review, as America's Number One party school. Particularly at a time when Gator football team is considered only fifth best. One can't have drunken students reaching the very pinnacle of collegiate glory while its athletes lag behind several other notable football factories. It is unfathomable that a football coach whose annual compensation makes him the highest paid public employee in the state of Florida has been outperformed by a few Gainesville bartenders working mostly for tips.

Something had to be done. The university took a bold stop last week. No more beer pong. (Also known, among those majoring in international studies, as Beruit.)

My journalistic instincts tell me that ignorance here is a much more useful tool than knowing. Having no idea what beer pong actually entails, I could assume that its a kind of mating ritual popularized at the University of Florida in the 1960s by servicemen returning from Vietnam. That would explain the rumor that Charlie Crist employed beer pong in a desperate attempt ti entice his high society girlfiend into marriage.

Wikipedia says otherwise. Something about players tossing table tennis balls down a ping pong table and attempting to deposit the sphere in a glass of beer. The opponent is then required to drink the entire container empty.  It's difficult for me to figure out being forced to drink beer qualifies as losing. But maybe that explains why university officials have decided that the game must go.

But UF has decided to keep football, a game where spectators are famously sober and determined to stomp out Florida's party school image.

Comments

[Ergg]

How long before they ban that Pong Toss game for the Nintendo Wii.

[dean]

So, this is basically the game that we knew as "quarters" where you have to bounce a quarter into a glass of beer - a lot harder than bouncing a ping pong ball into a glass. We shouldn't be surprised though, this is UF, the "Harvard of Banana Republic"

[Gator]

Actually, if you would have done some research, beer pong and quarters are completely different. You obviously didn't go to UF or any university for that matter.